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Passing judgment

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
So tired of my parents passing negative judgement on me and insinuating that I'm a difficult wife. For example, I have a bad sleep disorder that started a few years ago. when it's at it's worst I might sleep 1-2 hours a night, I'm overly sensitive to noise, toss and turn like crazy......it's just a nightmare to deal with, I hate it. I've been to doctors and tried meds but nothing helps. As a result my husband and I had to start sleeping in separate rooms because it was the only thing we could do to make sure I got some sleep, especially when our son came along. My parents are all over me about it, laughing at me and rolling their eyes. Saying they feel sorry for my husband, just being so inconsiderate of my problem. I hate that I have this sleep disorder, I cry about it. To have my parents be so judgmental about it and make me out to be a bad wife because of it hurts big time. Don't they understand that this is a nightmare for me and I wish I could change this?! I'm not choosing to have a sleep disorder!!! Thank God I have the most wonderful husband in the world that gets it and tries to help me. (in sickness and in health as they say). I hate when people who haven't experienced something pass judgement on others going through a difficult time. Especially when it's your parents. I've kept my sleep problems a secret for years because I didn't want anyone to know and I knew they'd be this way, but since we live far away now they finally figured it out during visits. (We're visiting them and sleeping separately). My husband always asked me why I didn't tell my parents and today he looked at me and said, "now I know why, they made fun of your problem and never once showed any concern or compassion for you." Yup. My husband was so mad, I had to tell him to just let it go. I know my parents well, this is how they are and I'm hurt but not surprised. Just yesterday I realized I forgot to pack my favorite lipstick and so I asked my husband to bring it (he got here today) and comments were made about me being high maintenance. I didn't realize that asking my DH to toss my lipstick into his toiletry bag was high maintenance but ok I guess?!
Posted by Anonymous on May. 26, 2017 at 11:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 27, 2017 at 10:47 AM

hugs

Sorry your parents are being like this.

Greenbird15
by Bronze Member on May. 27, 2017 at 10:58 AM

That sucks really they suck. Also have you tried earplugs at night? I thought that may help you sleep better! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 27, 2017 at 11:13 AM

Knock them flat with an answer they don't expect "You don't have to sleep in the same bed all night, every night to have sex, Mom. We have a lot more imagination than that ..." Or "Do you  think dh isn't getting f***ked regularly enough, Dad? None of your business..." 

Bet they won't comment again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 27, 2017 at 2:00 PM
Thank you. It's just frustrating because you know I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy here or pity I'm just looking for a little bit understanding and a little compassion.

Quoting amonkeymom:

hugs

Sorry your parents are being like this.

jws120567
by Bronze Member on May. 28, 2017 at 1:04 PM

Your parents sound like total assholes, I'm sorry.  You have a medical issue, and they aren't being supportive, that's messed up. 

Unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of not being taken seriously, too.  I have a lot of health stuff going on, and my mom never takes any of my issues seriously, until she hears about them from someone else, and how seriously it affects them, and then she cuts me some slack.  Makes me angry.  My brother has put my SSDI at risk by telling people that I'm faking it, and I'm not in as bad shape as I say I am.  Same goes with an ex-friend. 

What I'm trying to say is that some people are insensitive asshats, and their opinions should be kept to themselves.  It's time you stood up for yourself with your parents, and tell them that their sarcasm would be best kept to themselves since they can't be supportive.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 28, 2017 at 1:16 PM

Your parents are jerks, why are you even wasting your time, money, and sanity to visit them? 

You can totally use this behavior as the reason why you won't visit. There is no reason to subject yourself or your husband, and especially your children, to their negativity and criticism.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 28, 2017 at 1:48 PM

It's why I think adults shouldn't sleep in each other homes.  Don't invite your parents to stay in your home when visiting and you shouldn't stay in their home. Get at a hotel and also keep your personal affairs between you and your husband to yourselves. 

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2017 at 8:34 PM

I understand that and I'm not pitying you, just sad for the situation you're in.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you. It's just frustrating because you know I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy here or pity I'm just looking for a little bit understanding and a little compassion.
Quoting amonkeymom:

hugs

Sorry your parents are being like this.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 29, 2017 at 11:17 PM
This or somwthing to thw time of sleeping separate after fulfilling maritial things. I can't think of the word.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Knock them flat with an answer they don't expect "You don't have to sleep in the same bed all night, every night to have sex, Mom. We have a lot more imagination than that ..." Or "Do you  think dh isn't getting f***ked regularly enough, Dad? None of your business..." 

Bet they won't comment again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 29, 2017 at 11:26 PM
Sorry. I have chronic insomnia and my DH doesn't get it. He tells me he's tired too. He gets more than 2 hours a night plus he takes naps.
I want to flipping strangle him...but I'm too tired.
If it's not experienced, it's not understood.
I'm glad your DH tries to help you. Tell your parents to go twirl.
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