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Does death immediately make that person loving and caring?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
Even if that person was a negative, narcissistic, self loathing,woe is me kind of person in life?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 4, 2017 at 12:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LaughCryLive
by Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 12:10 PM
Nope
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 4, 2017 at 12:14 PM
I'm having such a hard time. Everyone saying how loving, how wonderful, how selfless they were and I'm wondering who the hell they're talking about. I have to vent somewhere because this is my husbands mother and he is so broken. No way can I let him know what I'm feeling. I am so sad for him because I know how much he loved her. But just as in life, she has left the entire burden on him to deal with her. Sorry for unloading. I just have to get this out.

Quoting LaughCryLive: Nope
LaughCryLive
by Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 12:16 PM
My father is a narcissist and the best thing I ever did was to cut him out of my life. I don't know how I'll feel when he dies but I know I don't want to be around him while he's living.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm having such a hard time. Everyone saying how loving, how wonderful, how selfless they were and I'm wondering who the hell they're talking about. I have to vent somewhere because this is my husbands mother and he is so broken. No way can I let him know what I'm feeling. I am so sad for him because I know how much he loved her. But just as in life, she has left the entire burden on him to deal with her. Sorry for unloading. I just have to get this out.

Quoting LaughCryLive: Nope
livinlife1622
by Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 12:48 PM

I know what you mean, and apparently it does

Momtoone07
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:01 PM
No. Lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:04 PM

I was actually at a funeral yesterday when this was brought up. We all agreed that no, it does not. I hate that too. Just because you die it doesn't mean all the horrible things you did are immediatly erased. It's ok to feel the way you do. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:07 PM
Your last sentence calmed me a lot. I have been battling this internally, thinking "what is wrong with me?" for even having this thought. The funeral is Tuesday, burial is Wednesday. I just need to deal until then and be supportive of my husband. Thank you.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I was actually at a funeral yesterday when this was brought up. We all agreed that no, it does not. I hate that too. Just because you die it doesn't mean all the horrible things you did are immediatly erased. It's ok to feel the way you do. 

momto1girl2007
by Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:10 PM
The late great Jim Morrison of the doors once said "death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we once had shoulders smooth as ravens claws"
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:15 PM

I'm glad it did. You don't have to grieve, just say nothing about it other than the "right things", be there for your husband and get through it. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: Your last sentence calmed me a lot. I have been battling this internally, thinking "what is wrong with me?" for even having this thought. The funeral is Tuesday, burial is Wednesday. I just need to deal until then and be supportive of my husband. Thank you.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

I was actually at a funeral yesterday when this was brought up. We all agreed that no, it does not. I hate that too. Just because you die it doesn't mean all the horrible things you did are immediatly erased. It's ok to feel the way you do. 


Patti-Gee
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2017 at 1:20 PM


  Ehhh there's nothing wrong with remembering the good times.    Whether you had the good times with the person or not..

  I didn't talk with my older brother for over 20 years then my mother and sister died,  I just decided that holding a lifetime grudge wasn't going to help me.   I was glad we patched up our relationship, he died 2 years after my mother and sister. 

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