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Not What I Hoped

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies
I had always hoped to get married, get a house and have at least 3 kids. You know things most people want. Things I thought dh wanted.

Dh and I have been married for 3 years and have 2 kids. One of whom is mine from a previous relationship. Dh has been adament about not having more kids. He has always been back and forth. One minute he will say he wants more then he says he is fine with the two we have. But now he is hundred percent done. I feel pretty upset about it and am trying to deal with it.

Now he's saying no to us getting a house. He doesn't want the mortgage payments or the up keep. And I just feel devastated. It's like the things I had wanted in my life are no longer options. And I get it. Things don't always work out the way we want. But I am still upset about it. Like horribly so.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2017 at 9:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 16, 2017 at 10:14 PM
So go find someone else.
PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Sep. 16, 2017 at 11:30 PM

Dump the fuddy-duddy and find a man who is on the same page as you are as far as children and real estate.  Get out now while you're still young and fertile.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 18, 2017 at 8:30 PM

Talk to him, counseling may help.

lovingladyo4
by New Member on Sep. 18, 2017 at 8:36 PM

I would feel let down too if I were you. Unmet expectations always bring on stress and anxiety. It's obvious something change in his thinking to make this drastic change of plans with disregard for your outlook on it. Time to sit down and have a mature-husband-wife-heart-to-heart talk about every aspect of this. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 18, 2017 at 10:27 PM

I used to want a house until we got one.  The morgage is a nightmare and my husband refuses to do routine maintenance until it becomes a huge expensive repair.  If yours is saying no for those same reasons, and it sounds like he is, thank your lucky stars.  As for the rest, you have to decide if you're willing to put up with someone who is so different from what you want out of life.  I regret staying in this situation when I could have done things differently years ago.  Trust me, you don't want that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 19, 2017 at 10:09 PM
Isint that the one and only answer on here? He wants two kids you want four....divorce. He wants to rent a town house and you want to purchase a split ranch...divorce. You want geraniums around the lamp post and he's a petunia fan..call the lawyer!! We are living in a marriage disposable society.

Quoting Anonymous 2: So go find someone else.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 19, 2017 at 10:10 PM
Do you want your husband or a house and three kids?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 19, 2017 at 10:10 PM
Do you want your husband or a house and three kids?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 19, 2017 at 10:11 PM
That's always the solution around here. Bitches here are "totes Cray Cray".

Quoting Anonymous 5: Isint that the one and only answer on here? He wants two kids you want four....divorce. He wants to rent a town house and you want to purchase a split ranch...divorce. You want geraniums around the lamp post and he's a petunia fan..call the lawyer!! We are living in a marriage disposable society.

Quoting Anonymous 2: So go find someone else.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 19, 2017 at 10:20 PM
He doesn't sound willing to compromise, why should she give up everything she wants for anyone? Some of us find someone with drive who want the same things and make them happen. Why would anyone want to stay miserable with someone who has the opposite goals in life? Because marriage, is not a good enough reason to be miserable.

Quoting Anonymous 5: Isint that the one and only answer on here? He wants two kids you want four....divorce. He wants to rent a town house and you want to purchase a split ranch...divorce. You want geraniums around the lamp post and he's a petunia fan..call the lawyer!! We are living in a marriage disposable society.

Quoting Anonymous 2: So go find someone else.
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