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What's it like to be loved?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies
It's been 6 years after leaving a bad 15 year marriage. Figured out that my ex simply lacks any ability to empathize or care about another person's feelings. Explains so much of why he abused me as he did. He manipulated me to believe he was everything I ever needed then systematically set out to destroy me as a person to bend me to his needs. I didn't wake up until he started raping me and gave me a pet name "piece of s$&@". I hate myself for tolerating it. But am proud that I got out.

My mom was the same way. She didn't show love, could care less about my life, used me to please the men in her life, and still somehow hated me as a teen because her husband wanted me sexually. She tossed me out at 16 because I didn't fit in her life anymore.

I guess I'm a magnet for not being cared about. It's why I stay single. I'm not bitter but sometimes I wish someone cared about me. I always have to be the strong one and do it alone. I'm successful in my life financially and am educated. But I do wish at times I could be vunerable without being hurt. I'm pretty jealous of other people having that. At this point I'm not sure I will ever have that in my lifetime.

I often wonder what it'd be like to be truly loved.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2017 at 11:18 PM
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Replies (1-4):
PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Sep. 16, 2017 at 11:26 PM

Hon.  You need to start loving yourself and telling yourself that you are worthwhile and worthy of being loved.  Work on yourself first.  Then you will start attracting the right people in your life.

rescuekim
by Member on Sep. 17, 2017 at 7:47 AM

I can relate.  I'm 61, grew up in hell and can also say that I've never been in love or felt loved (romantically).  I have always had a handful of awesome women friends who I know for sure love me and have my back but men, nope.  I'm ok with it though.  I don't feel like I'm missing out on much.  I am also educated, have a great career and have been successful at taking care of myself and my life without a man.  It's not what happens to you, it's how you take it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 17, 2017 at 7:51 AM
Honestly, it's pretty great, but it's not some perfect fairy tale. People who love you still disappoint you, still hurt you. Love is a growing experience and one that has definite ups and downs.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 18, 2017 at 1:15 PM
As long and you keep that wall up and an r not vulnerable...youll never get what you're looking for
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