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Broken foot, no help from husband

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 1:02 AM
  • 13 Replies
After 5 days of being cooped up in the house not being able to do much but elevate my leg after breaking my foot I've hit a breaking point with my husband and possibly the whole situation.
Even before I broke my foot my husband has always made it clear his job comes first. I also work a full time job but when it comes time to get kids (4 & 12) after work it's up to me plus do dinner, homework and then never ending cleaning.
We both go in at 7 and I get off at 4, he on the other hand gets off sometimes as late as 7 8 and occasionally 9. Do I realize how much he works? Yes, but at the same time this isn't fair to the kids and I either. He has chosen to not hire on another person to help him when he was given the option and I feel like it was a bad decision on his part.
Even with my crutches tonight I'm the one cleaning and doing kid stuff while he sits on the couch watching tv and drinking beer 😑 Anytime I say something he tells me he just needs a night to relax and I need to chill out.. he napped earlier and hasn't done much else all day.
Am I being selfish to get on him and be upset?
by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 1:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mmtosam06
by Member on Sep. 24, 2017 at 1:06 AM
Nope I'd shoot my husband if he said/did that hell no it takes 2 to run a household jobs or no jobs still takes 2. I'd lose my mind over it and become irritated to the point I wouldn't shut up until he finally moved. Btw he sounds like my ex husband's twin. I'm sorry
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 9:58 AM

He did tell you that his job comes first from the get go so it shouldn't come as a surprise that he hasn't change.  The only person you can change is you so either accept it or do something to change the way that you live.

You and kids will never come first.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 9:59 AM
Stop doing things for him. Only cook and clean for you and the kids. He should get the idea then.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 9:22 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1:

He did tell you that his job comes first from the get go so it shouldn't come as a surprise that he hasn't change.  The only person you can change is you so either accept it or do something to change the way that you live.

You and kids will never come first.

Shai4710
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 10:26 AM

Ride his ass and make him help you. He's not a work only father. He needs to help in the household whenever needed. He's being lazy. 

happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 1:44 PM

One of my friends has a marriage like this, and honestly... I have no idea how or why she puts up with all this nonsense.

Chores/resposibilities in a family vary from day to day. If he can't pick up the kids, then he needs to throw in a load of laundry. Or if he can't make dinner, he can at least get the kids bathed and to bed.

It's all about negotiating what needs to be done when, and who is home to do it. NOT who has the most "important" job.

Maybe make a list of what needs doing, ask him which 1/2 he will take on .... give him 1st choice.  I feel like I'm talking about a child when I say this stuff.... nobody wants to be married to someone so selfish and immature. Tell him THAT too!!! UGH!!!

froggymom23
by New Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 2:08 PM

Sorry about your broken foot. It is a lot for you to cope with without any help. Maybe your 12yr old can help a little more. It might be a good idea to have an honest conversation with your husband about needing help all the time, not just now that you have a broken foot. Marriage is a partnership and both of you need to work together to take care of house, children and finances. If he refuses you might consider counseling for the two of you.

sugarsmom2
by Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 4:55 PM

men and their outdated ideas . man is superior and male are better . my goodness we have had this fight for years and no one wins a battle of who is more macjo . you or i .   at times its the ladies and other times its the man . but to make the bold statement of i need my down time . it works both ways . you my dear also need down time when you both work the same time and come home the same time . if he doesn't want to help then he must pay for someone to come in to help out a few times a week or perhaps  daily . you need help and if it not him then it is someone else . . your children 4 and 12 . are at an age that they can help a little bit but they can learn to not make as much a mess as they do . if they get it out . they must put it back . it the use it then they must put it back . if they eat they they have to clean up after themselves . leave no mess that mommy or daddy must clean up after them . they can make their own beds in the morning . pick out the night before the things they want to wear then  have it on hand to use the next day . . make sure you tell them daily that they are loved and needed . 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 6:26 PM

I think I'm married to your husband or a clone of him. He is exactly like mine!  It's hard having a guy who's priority is work and beer and they think the woman is supposed to carry the load of everything no matter what.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 6:29 PM

Oh and also I have a 12 yr old that I have been giving chores to do and tell him he needs to help me because nobody else will. I know it's not very nice or grown up but I do it to get my point across to the old man in the recliner. My 12 yr old is seeing his dad for what he is and that is lazy..

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