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Death and alcoholics

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I guess this is weird to post here but I'm not sure where else to post it at. Two people I know have died in the past year of liver disease from alcoholism. One of them was my brother. They were both in their 30s. Part of me is pissed at both of these people for practically killing themselves. The aftermath for the families involved is terrible. I guess I should feel sorry they died and I do sort of, but they both wasted their lives. We only have one life and it is so precious. I'm being judgmental, but I would never go do that to my family. The worst thing you can do to your loved ones is die. And they both died from something that is 100% preventable. Maybe I should be telling this to a therapist or something, but I'd be embarrassed and ashamed if I died that way. And now all I can think about is what happens after you die and I'm.scared it's just nothing. It's just terrible.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:36 AM
Replies (21-28):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 4, 2017 at 1:21 AM

I know how you feel my DS biological grandmother recently died of alcholism related issues. Before she died she cause my DS so much pain. She caused me pain and tried to cause me legal problems just because she was drunk all the time. Her liver was going and she got more and more unstable. Finally she made one last ditched effort to clean up but it was too late she had a stroke 24 hours after getting off the sauce. she died 4 days after that. My DS is still trying to understand why she would do something like that to herself. It wasn't like she was stupid either. She was very well educated. 

SpiritedWitch
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2017 at 1:39 AM

You said ... The worst thing you can do to your loved ones is die. 

It is not like we have control over that little detail. It could happen anytime, anywhere. When your number is up, it is up. Have you not watched any of the Final Destination movies? You could walk outside and get hit by a bus or a car. 

The only firm set point in our lives is that we all are going to die. Some before others, like our son, who died at age 22 after a battle with End-Stange (ternimal) Renal Diease.

Maybe you should talk to a therapist and work this out.

Sallyjally
by New Member on Dec. 4, 2017 at 4:01 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your losses. I have not personally experienced this but I do share your fear of death. A very close friend of mine took her own life a few months ago. The waves of grief can hit you at unexpected times. I often think about everything she is missing out on - even small things. I heard a new song on the radio and thought about how she would never hear this song or know it existed. 


I think death  would be a lot easier to deal with if you did have religion. I am atheist/agnostic. For me it is scary to think of the "nothingness" after death. I've spoken to others who told me they actually found the "nothingness" comforting. I don't know how they came to this view!! Anyway, I'm probably not helping AT ALL but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 4, 2017 at 4:10 AM
I abuse alcohol as well and I’m happy that I saw this post too. I drink wine daily and try to tell myself it’s not that bad since it’s just wine and not whiskey but it’s all horrible. My daughters dad abandoned us in the worst way possible and I’ve never recovered.

Quoting Anonymous 5: I'm glad for your post. I struggle with alcohol abuse and after reading this I think it's time I stop.

I was molested by a male cousin and also a female friend of the family when I was little and I think that is the issue.

I have stopped before for a year and I felt GREAT!! I must do this!!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 4, 2017 at 4:11 AM
Alcoholism has zero to do with how well educated one is.

Quoting Anonymous 8:

I know how you feel my DS biological grandmother recently died of alcholism related issues. Before she died she cause my DS so much pain. She caused me pain and tried to cause me legal problems just because she was drunk all the time. Her liver was going and she got more and more unstable. Finally she made one last ditched effort to clean up but it was too late she had a stroke 24 hours after getting off the sauce. she died 4 days after that. My DS is still trying to understand why she would do something like that to herself. It wasn't like she was stupid either. She was very well educated. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 4, 2017 at 4:16 AM
Omg I could have wrote this myself. I literally do the SAME thing and am concerned about withdrawal as wells I have zero health issues too. I just hope it doesn’t catch up to me.

Quoting Anonymous 5:

Well, I haven't had a drink in 3 days and I feel GREAT!!  I relaize that I have the same fun, outgoing personality with or without it.  My concern is I see in the news that people can die from withdrawal.  Can that happen to me?

I have been drinking a bottle of red or white wine for a couple of years just about everyday.

I monitor my blood pressure and it's normal, no issues there.  How will I know if I am in trouble??

oting Anonymous 5: I'm glad for your post. I struggle with alcohol abuse and after reading this I think it's time I stop.

I was molested by a male cousin and also a female friend of the family when I was little and I think that is the issue.

I have stopped before for a year and I felt GREAT!! I must do this!!!

ms.tlc
by on Dec. 7, 2017 at 7:43 AM
First, my condolensces to you and your family on your loss. They were very young, in their 30's. Second, never ever say you would "never this or that". You are thinking with a brain that is not sitting in alcohol. They were thinking with a brain pickled in alcohol inside a body eith an addiction. Uour brother didnt want to hurt your family. The addiction did. Addiction will make s person do things they would probably not do if they were not addicted. They didnt have to die that way, but they did. An addict/alcoholic will not get better unless they make the decision to do so on their own. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for the addict to do that because the addiction controls their mind and body.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Dec. 7, 2017 at 9:20 AM

I agree.  I've had relatives who drank themselves to death and it absolutely was a waste of their life as well as devastating for those around them.  My husband was a barely functioning alcoholic for years until he decided he didn't want to lose his family over it.  He still smokes though and I'm pretty resentful of that.  He's tried more than once to quit but hasn't managed.  I have relatives who smoked and quit and some who haven't.  All I can think of is how stupid and selfish that is.  Smokers and alcoholics who die of those things don't go easily.  It's horrible for everyone involved.

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