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Confused

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2017 at 10:11 PM
  • 21 Replies
Hello everyone,
My baby girl is 3 months and she is our first baby. My husband n I agreed I stay with her while he works as much as he needs to so we can avoid daycare for the first fe months.I am blessed to have this time with her and I am grateful. However I have noticed some things that I just keep to myself and dont think I can anymore. For example, the other day my breast were full of milk that I needed to pump which I started who while husband started to play online ps4 deal. Baby starts to cry n he sighs looks at me n the baby and I had to stop pumping. Today while washing bottles dog starts barking and husband says its because she needs to potty. N i said im going continued washing since I was almost done and he says that i can come back to that. So I walk dogs and come in to see him frustrated with baby pretty much because she was fussy and he had to stop playing n he tells her to please give him. A break. I continued washing on purpose so that he could give her time and try to calm her down n he tells me i can do that later. I got my baby and put her to sleep. Im so upset i just stayed in the room with her. He seems to believe that I should do everything else since he works ft which okay i understand but is it literally all week ALL DAY? is this fair? This kind of behavior keeps me from girls nights out to the movies n such. Please share thoughts. Thank you.
by on Nov. 21, 2017 at 10:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 22, 2017 at 12:52 AM
2 moms liked this
Well. If he works all week give him some time after work to decompress. Maybe a hour or so. Then just say I'm going to take a bath and go sit in the tub and relax. He is her dad too, he'll be okay while you relax for a hour. Parenting is a full time job for both parents. Maybe agree upon one night a month or every other weekend that you get to go out to see a movie with friends and then opposite weekend he gets to do what he wants. Because you both deserve a break from time to time.
Umi12
by New Member on Nov. 22, 2017 at 12:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much. He does have his decompress time, he plays everyday 3 hours and then spends about an hour with us. Perhaps I just have to remind him that every moment is precious because shes growing so fast and we wont get time back. I appreciate youre input.
wifeofvet
by New Member on Nov. 22, 2017 at 1:16 AM

It will get better as the baby gets older!  My husband would try and help with the babies, but he would get frustrated when they cried or fussed too much.  He was much better with them when they got older and developed more of their personality.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 22, 2017 at 8:24 AM
This was our biggest argument when I was on maternity leave he thought since I get to stay home all day and I'm not "working" I do everything that involves the baby. I needed a little time to myself too he got better once she turned about 3 months but I also went back to work then. You have to tell him what you need him to do you would think they should know but they either ignore stuff or don't notice. Tell him how you being at home with work too and you don't get a lunch break like he does or some quiet time in the car to and from work and you would like some time to maybe take a bath or even run to Target baby free.

Quoting Umi12: Hello everyone,
My baby girl is 3 months and she is our first baby. My husband n I agreed I stay with her while he works as much as he needs to so we can avoid daycare for the first fe months.I am blessed to have this time with her and I am grateful. However I have noticed some things that I just keep to myself and dont think I can anymore. For example, the other day my breast were full of milk that I needed to pump which I started who while husband started to play online ps4 deal. Baby starts to cry n he sighs looks at me n the baby and I had to stop pumping. Today while washing bottles dog starts barking and husband says its because she needs to potty. N i said im going continued washing since I was almost done and he says that i can come back to that. So I walk dogs and come in to see him frustrated with baby pretty much because she was fussy and he had to stop playing n he tells her to please give him. A break. I continued washing on purpose so that he could give her time and try to calm her down n he tells me i can do that later. I got my baby and put her to sleep. Im so upset i just stayed in the room with her. He seems to believe that I should do everything else since he works ft which okay i understand but is it literally all week ALL DAY? is this fair? This kind of behavior keeps me from girls nights out to the movies n such. Please share thoughts. Thank you.
othermom
by Member on Nov. 22, 2017 at 10:18 AM

It is tough when a baby is young. There is a huge adjustment and it can take time for things to settle down.   How many hours a week does he work? Does he get very much time alone with her? I did ost of the stuff when the kids were babies because I was home with them. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 22, 2017 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this

The video games would need to go until he takes on some responsibilities with the baby and the home. It should be an hour on the games when you don't need his help, and three hours with his family.   If he is getting stressed because she is taking time away from the games, I would consider whether he has a gaming addiction and whether he was ready to be a father.  

Quoting Umi12: Thank you so much. He does have his decompress time, he plays everyday 3 hours and then spends about an hour with us. Perhaps I just have to remind him that every moment is precious because shes growing so fast and we wont get time back. I appreciate youre input.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 22, 2017 at 1:06 PM
I agree. He sounds quite immature. How old is he?

Quoting Anonymous 3:

The video games would need to go until he takes on some responsibilities with the baby and the home. It should be an hour on the games when you don't need his help, and three hours with his family.   If he is getting stressed because she is taking time away from the games, I would consider whether he has a gaming addiction and whether he was ready to be a father.  

Quoting Umi12: Thank you so much. He does have his decompress time, he plays everyday 3 hours and then spends about an hour with us. Perhaps I just have to remind him that every moment is precious because shes growing so fast and we wont get time back. I appreciate youre input.

amurb
by on Nov. 22, 2017 at 1:06 PM
I understand your frustration, my own husband usually he just wants to relax and do nothing when he gets home from work. It isn’t a good idea to maybe just let him have some time each night to himself. Talk it out together and come up with a plan that works best for you both. Good luck

Quoting Umi12: Hello everyone,
My baby girl is 3 months and she is our first baby. My husband n I agreed I stay with her while he works as much as he needs to so we can avoid daycare for the first fe months.I am blessed to have this time with her and I am grateful. However I have noticed some things that I just keep to myself and dont think I can anymore. For example, the other day my breast were full of milk that I needed to pump which I started who while husband started to play online ps4 deal. Baby starts to cry n he sighs looks at me n the baby and I had to stop pumping. Today while washing bottles dog starts barking and husband says its because she needs to potty. N i said im going continued washing since I was almost done and he says that i can come back to that. So I walk dogs and come in to see him frustrated with baby pretty much because she was fussy and he had to stop playing n he tells her to please give him. A break. I continued washing on purpose so that he could give her time and try to calm her down n he tells me i can do that later. I got my baby and put her to sleep. Im so upset i just stayed in the room with her. He seems to believe that I should do everything else since he works ft which okay i understand but is it literally all week ALL DAY? is this fair? This kind of behavior keeps me from girls nights out to the movies n such. Please share thoughts. Thank you.
PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2017 at 1:25 PM

He needs a good ass kicking and your heaviest pan upside his head.   That would not fly in my house.  He's acting like a really bad roommate who thinks he's living in a hotel.  You need to go postal all over him and tell him that she is his daughter and he will start taking an active roll in her care as well as helping you when he gets home or the PS4 is going to meet an untimely end under the wheel of your vehicle and the rest of his shit is going to end up on the front lawn.

Umi12
by New Member on Nov. 22, 2017 at 4:03 PM
Hes 35 and Im 30, Ill speak with him. Thanks a million for everyone's input.
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