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My Family is Falling Apart

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 45 Replies
A few months ago dh, our two kids (ages 7 and 18 months) and I moved in with my parents. It’s a bit of a long story as to why but it wasn’t my decision. I’d live in my car before living with my parents again. But with kids, that isn’t always the best solution. We have had nothing but problems since then.

My parents have always made it very clear that they could provide better for ds#1. Ever since he was born. They live in an upscale neighborhood with an amazing school district. My dad used to work as vp at a local bank. So he made more money in one year than dh and I would in five years. My parents and I have a rocky relationship simply because I didn’t follow their life plan.

Ds#1 wants nothing to do with dh and I when my parents are around. When we finally get his attention, my parents swoop in and badger him until he hangs out with them. Dh is so over it and their relationship has suffered greatly. Anything we get ds#1 isn’t good enough. Nothing we do for him is good enough. I know my parents talk poorly about us to him.

I am losing my child to these toxic people (they totally are toxic!) and it’s awful. I know I am going to get bashed for this post. I know the simple solution is to move out. But that’s a complicated situation. Moving out will happen just not as soon as it needs to. I just don't how we can fix things in the meantime.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:51 PM
What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:55 PM
I was trying to not make the post so long.

What it boiled down to was we lived in an ok neighborhood in an apartment. We wanted to buy a house in a better area but didn’t have enough money to do so. Idk how but us buying a house came up one day between dh and my dad. My dad offered to let us stay with them while we saved up. Dh always thought I was being a bit dramatically when it came to them. That and they were always super nice to him. So he agreed. I said no. But with ds#1 being in school, the schools are better where my parents are so I caved.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this
You ruined your relationship with your child for a house? Great priorities.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was trying to not make the post so long.

What it boiled down to was we lived in an ok neighborhood in an apartment. We wanted to buy a house in a better area but didn’t have enough money to do so. Idk how but us buying a house came up one day between dh and my dad. My dad offered to let us stay with them while we saved up. Dh always thought I was being a bit dramatically when it came to them. That and they were always super nice to him. So he agreed. I said no. But with ds#1 being in school, the schools are better where my parents are so I caved.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you paying any kind of rent to your parents?

Do both you and your husband work?

If you both work, who keeps your kids while you are working?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:58 PM
Yes we pay rent.
Dh has a full time job during the week. I work weekends. We did this to cut down on childcare costs.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

Are you paying any kind of rent to your parents?

Do both you and your husband work?

If you both work, who keeps your kids while you are working?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 3, 2017 at 5:59 PM
I wanted to give them better. I was hoping things wouldn’t be so bad. I was obviously wrong and hate myself for not putting my foot down.

Quoting Anonymous 3: You ruined your relationship with your child for a house? Great priorities.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was trying to not make the post so long.

What it boiled down to was we lived in an ok neighborhood in an apartment. We wanted to buy a house in a better area but didn’t have enough money to do so. Idk how but us buying a house came up one day between dh and my dad. My dad offered to let us stay with them while we saved up. Dh always thought I was being a bit dramatically when it came to them. That and they were always super nice to him. So he agreed. I said no. But with ds#1 being in school, the schools are better where my parents are so I caved.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 3, 2017 at 6:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Why live with someone you don't want to just because you want to buy a house then? You don't need to buy a home, you just need a place to live happily.  Buying a home is not a must in life, however living happily is.  You and your DH need to decide what matters most to you, buying a home some day or being happy today.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes we pay rent. Dh has a full time job during the week. I work weekends. We did this to cut down on childcare costs.
Quoting Anonymous 4:

Are you paying any kind of rent to your parents?

Do both you and your husband work?

If you both work, who keeps your kids while you are working?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 3, 2017 at 6:02 PM
Yet you are still there.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I wanted to give them better. I was hoping things wouldn’t be so bad. I was obviously wrong and hate myself for not putting my foot down.

Quoting Anonymous 3: You ruined your relationship with your child for a house? Great priorities.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was trying to not make the post so long.

What it boiled down to was we lived in an ok neighborhood in an apartment. We wanted to buy a house in a better area but didn’t have enough money to do so. Idk how but us buying a house came up one day between dh and my dad. My dad offered to let us stay with them while we saved up. Dh always thought I was being a bit dramatically when it came to them. That and they were always super nice to him. So he agreed. I said no. But with ds#1 being in school, the schools are better where my parents are so I caved.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 3, 2017 at 6:03 PM
I agree. I told dh that I would love a house but this arrangement isn’t working. It is killing us. But he refuses to go back to an apartment.


Quoting Anonymous 4:

Why live with someone you don't want to just because you want to buy a house then? You don't need to buy a home, you just need a place to live happily.  Buying a home is not a must in life, however living happily is.  You and your DH need to decide what matters most to you, buying a home some day or being happy today.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes we pay rent.
Dh has a full time job during the week. I work weekends. We did this to cut down on childcare costs.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

Are you paying any kind of rent to your parents?

Do both you and your husband work?

If you both work, who keeps your kids while you are working?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 3, 2017 at 6:04 PM
I’d leave. Dh won’t go back to an apartment. I don’t have enough money on my own to get one.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Yet you are still there.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I wanted to give them better. I was hoping things wouldn’t be so bad. I was obviously wrong and hate myself for not putting my foot down.

Quoting Anonymous 3: You ruined your relationship with your child for a house? Great priorities.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was trying to not make the post so long.

What it boiled down to was we lived in an ok neighborhood in an apartment. We wanted to buy a house in a better area but didn’t have enough money to do so. Idk how but us buying a house came up one day between dh and my dad. My dad offered to let us stay with them while we saved up. Dh always thought I was being a bit dramatically when it came to them. That and they were always super nice to him. So he agreed. I said no. But with ds#1 being in school, the schools are better where my parents are so I caved.

Quoting Anonymous 2: What life choices let you to live with them if they are so bad?
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