Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

One step forward, two steps back

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

Here we go again.    About two weeks ago we had a big blowup between my boyfriend, me , my daughter and his son.     As I was leaving in the morning his son said "goodbye"  I replied "goodbye"  and went out the door where I added "well that was a first."  This was in reference to the fact that in the six months his son has lived with us he has never acknowledged me, barely talked to me and never talked to my daughter.     My boyfriend followed me out and called me out on it.  I admitted my mistake, apolized and said "well it is the first time he has said goodbye to me.   After dinner that night he came to my daughter and I saying we needed to talk.  Ok.  We'll talk .  The three of us sit down and he basically attacks my daughter saying his son is afraid of her, that she is a 20 year girl and he is a 14 year old boy.  What has she done?  Nothing other than staying in her room and his son staying in his room.   She joins us for dinner everynight , his son is hit and miss.  He tends to fall asleep after school and doesn't wake up for dinner.  My boyfriend reports that his son could talk to his mother or a counselor at school.   I reply with we are very well known at the school, in fact his son's teacher wrote a glowing reference letter for my daughter .   I ask what he thinks his son might say to a counselor, tryig to figure out what the accusations are about.    After listening some more I remark that his son should be in on this discussion as we need to get to the bottom of it and start functioning as a family.    He says his son and he already talked about it and he is only 14.  I say yes he's 14 , however, he is making some accusations and my daughter has the right to face her attacker.    He relents and gets his son.    After a couple of questions I ask what has my daugher said, done or otherwise why is he afraid of her.  He replies "I'm afraid of her and that is why I stay in my room alot."  Ok so nothing specific.   I say we need to make a concentrated effort on all of our parts to work togehter and start being a family.  Ok end of discussion.   Next morning his son is up and making breakfast , we exchange hello and good monrings.     Morning off well.  I come home that afternoon from work to find my daughter in tears.  She is extremely upset and confused about where these accusations are coming from.  I talk with her and we decide to put it behind us, move forward and get on with life as a family.  That night his son doesn't come to dinner at all.  He is asleep and my boyfriend is gone.    Oh well , tomorrow is another day, his son once again does not come to dinner.  Ok , tomorrows another day, his son comes to dinner, it goes well.   We have two more dinners and then boom, when it is just the kdis (my three and his son) his son doesn't come to dinner.    Since the discussion his son has come to dinner three times.    Tonight at dinner we were discussing finals and exams.  Once again his son said "I"m the only going to pass my finals."  "My teacher told me that  I'm the only student he has ever had that applies himself."   This boy frequently refers to his classmates as stupid, the work is so easy that he does it before he comes home.   Basically my daughter who has always struggled in school feels put down.  She holds her tongue and doesn't say anything to him for fear that he will take it as bullying and intimidation.     She came to me after he returned to his room as said she doesn't know how much longer she can hold her tongue if he conitnues to put down those students who struggle.  I told her she could tell him "Your're hurting my feelings when you make light of the students who struggle in school as I am one of those students who continue to struggle " I tell her he probably doesn't realize he is hurting her feelings but he's getting on our nerves.     

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 6, 2017 at 8:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 6, 2017 at 8:22 PM
2 moms liked this
Sorry but both those losers would be out of my house the min he threatened my daughter. I would have put a stop to his son sleeping through dinner the second time it happened.
littlesippycup
by iloveanons on Dec. 6, 2017 at 8:29 PM
Wtf
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 6, 2017 at 8:39 PM
Basically her boyfriend got his tighty whites in a twist over something fucking ridiculous because he thought it was an insult to the fruit of his loins and so him and his loser son made veiled accusations towards her daughter.

Quoting littlesippycup: Wtf
littlesippycup
by iloveanons on Dec. 6, 2017 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you! I kinda got lost there for a minute. Kick those sore losers to the curb.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Basically her boyfriend got his tighty whites in a twist over something fucking ridiculous because he thought it was an insult to the fruit of his loins and so him and his loser son made veiled accusations towards her daughter.

Quoting littlesippycup: Wtf
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 6, 2017 at 9:04 PM
They would be out on the streets.
Marshmallow2018
by on Dec. 7, 2017 at 7:54 PM

This sounds like a really volatile situation in which no one is really happy. I am so sorry that life is this way for all of you. Do you remember the old saying, "A house divided against itself cannot stand?"  I don't see how your house can stand with such constant turmoil. There is a way to build a family that brings peace and love into the home, but anger, resentment, and accusations do not lead there. I hope you are able to find the solution. I am praying that God will give you the wisdom that you need to turn things around.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 7, 2017 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Either you and kids move out or your boyfriend because whomever home it belongs to should pack up and leave.  I also think your grown adult daughter needs to stop whining to her mommy over some comment a 14 year old makes.

MyBeachLife0604
by on Dec. 10, 2017 at 4:27 PM
Did the boy ever say exactly what the accusations are? Sounds like he's causing drama over nothing.
bluebunnybabe
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2017 at 4:35 PM
Has it occurred to you that maybe you all shouldn’t be living together?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 5:09 PM

If it's your house, they need to go. If it's his, you and your daughter should look into moving out. This is not a good situation to be in.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)