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Will I ever recover!?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
Im going through a divorce that I initiated we still live together for now. We have court in 1 month about a month ago i changed my mind practically begged him to take me back and stop the divorce he agreed I loved him more then I ever have but he won't and treats me like sh*t on his shoe its bad. We have 5 kids im heartbroken.

I have been miserable for a good 3 years even though he treated me bad his mom sister sil all hate me. He says will disown him if we get back together she has money and hes materialistic.
Anyway he didnt stop divorce doesnt wear his ring, ignores me. I did not talk to him that good over the years bcuz i has hurt by things he didnt do for our kids and I.
But I realized about a month ago there were things that I needed to change in order to be better to him and now he fell out of love with him before I could show him what a great life we will have together and a better wife I would be. He chose his mom over me he even said it. 20years 5 kids I am devastated again.
This is not the first time he's played with my emotions. I have done everything to win him back.
Why would he break up our family after all the families split up. I feel like dying!!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 26, 2017 at 9:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 26, 2017 at 11:51 PM
9 moms liked this

He is an asshole.

You didn't just file on a whim. He treats you like shit. And he's managed to convince you that you were the problem. 

Go through with the divorce. And get some therapy to help yourself work through the mental abuse he's put you through. 

iampavlov
by Member on Dec. 26, 2017 at 11:56 PM
2 moms liked this

sounds like you BOTH treated each other like shit. Move on

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 27, 2017 at 12:16 AM
You have no idea how bad and I was basically a single mother. But why can I put my soul crushing feelings to the side to forgive him so we could build oir marriage back the right way. How can I and not him? I feel so stupid hurt and embarrassed that i put all my feelings out there just for him to crush me!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 27, 2017 at 1:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Because he is an asshole and you will be better off without him.
You have 5 kids, do you really want your daughters growing up to think their father is what a "good" man acts like? Do you want them to go through the same hell you've been put through, simply because they think that's "normal"?

Quoting Anonymous 1: You have no idea how bad and I was basically a single mother. But why can I put my soul crushing feelings to the side to forgive him so we could build oir marriage back the right way. How can I and not him? I feel so stupid hurt and embarrassed that i put all my feelings out there just for him to crush me!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 27, 2017 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I’m telling you from experience, I’ve watched my parents argue and fight, even hit each other there for a few years.. my dad always called my mom names and still does when they fight. I now (26 years old) have horrible choice in men. I just got out of thee worst relationship I’ve ever encountered and my ex verbally abused me all the time and convinced me it was my fault the whole time. I believed it all until I had our ds, I had to leave because I didn’t want my son hearing his dad talk to me that way. My son would then grow up thinking it’s okay to shit on women. I got out for my kid. You need to do the same. You filed for divorce because you know what you have to do. Don’t let your emotions change your mind. Usually we listen with our hearts not our minds. But I’m telling you, it gets easier and I’m happier than ever raising my son in a stable healthy environment
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 28, 2017 at 9:52 PM

How old are the kids and you? 

I sure hope you are working.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 29, 2017 at 3:22 PM
Just stop. He's not worth being married to, you finally saw that and initiated the divorce. Don't get all screwed up in your own head fantasizing about how it could be when you know it absolutely can and will not. Continue through with this, get away from him and this severely limping, broken marriage, then get help for yourself to get your head on straight ad stay away from men for a very long time. Do not second and third guess this and get wrapped up in your fantasies. You see how he is, he treats you like dirt. That's your reality and will be your reality. See this through.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 6:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Men hate insecure woman. The day you start taking care of YOU and no longer worry about him he will start looking at you differently. But why would you even want to be with someone so mean? Keep your head up and never ever let anyone mistreat you! Last thing you need is for your kids to pick up on it and start disrespecting you too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 7:14 AM
1 mom liked this
This dude sounds like such a giant piece of shit and yet here you are convincing yourself there's a fairytale marriage just waiting to happen if only you could change some stuff about yourself and win him back. It's literally never going to happen. Why? Because he doesn't WANT it to happen. He hasn't shown you a single shred of decency lately- treats you like shit, ignores you, no wedding ring, openly said he chose his mother over you - it is completely irrational to believe any of this is going to improve!

You are better than this and deep down you KNOW it. You're just in a moment of weakness because 20 years is a long time to be with someone and it scares you to walk the path alone now. I get it. You're human! Even if it was crappy, you became adjusted to the life you built with him. But life has to go ON, sister. Do not make yourself appear desperate for this man. Do not beg him for shit! It only gives him power when he sees you thrown at his feet. It gives him power to make you feel unworthy. But let me tell you something- you AND your children are worthy to not have to be subjected to this sad excuse of a husband and father. He can take his negative energy and GO! You will feel like you have been underwater this whole time and are now finally coming up for air. Your mind will be clear and one day not far from now, you will say "what the hell was I thinking, why didn't I do this SOONER!" Girl, you got this. Believe in yourself!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 1, 2018 at 11:37 PM
I'm 39 kids are 6 10 11 16 18. Yes, will be working next week

Quoting Anonymous 5:

How old are the kids and you? 

I sure hope you are working.

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