Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need Serious Advice!

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 10:54 PM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

Happy Holidays you guys!!! My post may be weird... but I honestly didnt know what else to do. I dont have many friends I dont get out and I dont have much family. Im posting today because I wonder if there are any Moms who have been in my shoes. Im 28, (birthday just passed dec 7th)..and I have a 8 year old Son. I have so many dreams and aspirations but they seem so out of reach because I have no support from anyone. It seems like my life is at an halt because I dont have the proper resources for me and my child. Life is hard... I work 16 hour shifts almost everyday as a cna. I love my job because Im a very compassionate person and Im grateful that I could be a blessing to the elderly, but picking up and moving people those many hours a day, 6 or 7 days out of a week, Im going to kill myself. This is the only way I can survive, pay my bills on my own, take care of me and my child.. but working this much requires me to be away from him. My son is getting older and he's starting to realize that Mommy isnt there.. but I know he's too young to understand that it's for him, he's so sad at times. I would like to move forward with my goals and aspirations but I dont know how to do so as a single mother with no help. I dont have the money for daycare or to hire an outsider, but I wouldnt want to if I could. I want to just pack up me and my son, pick a state I think is best for us, and just move..start completely over. Ive thought maybe I could go to a shelter and go from there, I dont know but it's breaking my heart knowing that I cant be the Mom that I need to be for my child and he doesnt deserve that. Im trying to brain storm ways I can build a foundation that is strong enough for me and my Son so that I can go to school for a better life, be able to pay bills without pulling out my hair,...all while ensuring my baby is growing up mentally healthy ..father figure being absent which he is also questioning is already alot on him. Really wish i could find a way to do everything on my own and be a successful single parent. I feel so claustrophobic because I aspire to do so much but Im in between a rock and a hard place. Any other moms been in this situation? How do I start fresh in a new state..I want to just take my baby and go be as great as I can be. Im just lost!! Dont know which way to turn.

by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 10:54 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 1, 2018 at 11:15 PM
I feel your pain. Life can be tough sometimes. Would getting a job where you can work while he is in school be an option? Maybe work as an Ed assistant while taking a course online to get the job you want . Or maybe at a daycare or do homecare & work around your schedule. Goodluck in whatever you choose & I hope something better come up soon for you all:-)
littlesippycup
by iloveanons on Jan. 2, 2018 at 2:41 AM
Who watches him now?
nanny1918
by Silver Member on Jan. 2, 2018 at 8:57 AM
Have you applied for housing assistance?
What state are you in?
I became a mom at 16, I have never had any family support so I understand what you are saying.
My kids are now 18, 26 and 31. All either in college or graduated from college. It can be done !!
Can you give us more details so we can help you ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 9:28 AM

What are your "goals and aspirations"?  And who is looking after your 8 yr old son while you work 16 hr shifts almost everyday?

nightingale77
by on Jan. 2, 2018 at 9:52 PM

Hugs.. you are not alone in this journey. #nanny1918 is such an inspiration for all the single mothers out there and if she can do it, you can too! And you have to stop saying that you are not a good mummy. You are working so much to make sure your kid is fed and have clothes on his back. Not only that, you also strive to make sure he is ok emotionally and growing up balanced and adjusted. These are all hard work and I wanna encourage you that you are doing great! 

It’s good to look at what you want at this moment, check the resources around you and see how to work all these to your advantages. Is getting out of your existing necessary? If yes, are you able to check which state is more suitable for you in terms of employment and raising a kid. I pray that God will grant you wisdom and courage to make those decision and know that He is always with you in those decisions that you made. Be well and take care. God bless! 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 3, 2018 at 1:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't think the answer is necessarily moving to another state unless it is a state where you will have more of a support system. What you have going for you is that you are only 28. You may not feel young, but you are very young, and have years and years ahead of you.

Personally, what I would do is find a job that pays better on a short-term basis. You can even start your own house cleaning business and work under the table charging good money for your services. Or wait tables. Then, I would get my butt back in school, even part-time.  Another poster posted about quitting her job at McDonald's and going to nursing school. Nurses make great salaries. By the time you're 30, you could be earning $75,000 a year, and your son will be only 10. 

I don't advise going the shelter route. At all. 

JessShawna
by New Member on Jan. 6, 2018 at 8:46 AM
Wow I really didn't think I would get responses. God bless you guys. I live in Chicago, il. The reason I want to move out of state because I'm afraid of my city and I shouldn't be. I'm from Chicago but as I got older I started to change.. it's too fast here, people are crazy, and too many murders. As far as working while he is in school.. I'd have to work part time which wouldn't cover the rent and our costs of living. Sorry guys I don't have a mom to sit and vent with. I know it has to be a nice women's and children's state that will proudly help me with daycare assistance or with schools that are really involved. I've done home care and any other jobs that could get me close to my kid but rent is 900 with not one utility. Chicago is expensive.. if I want cheaper rent I'd have to move to the ghetto but I would like to keep us alive. Thank you guys for the compliments honestly...I really thought I was a bad mom... I'm noticing a difference in my son.. he went from real happy to real quiet and to himself. I hope he forgives me for bringing him into this world so young
JessShawna
by New Member on Jan. 6, 2018 at 8:48 AM
And guys..all I want is school. Honestly. Not a hand out..school. I would like to be my own foundation.. But I need money.. school is out of reach . I've even tried googling schools with parenting dorms and childcare on campus.. I'm looking looking looking I'm exhausted
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 6, 2018 at 8:54 AM
Why aren't you answering the question of who is watching your kid now while you work hours no one is realistically working.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 6, 2018 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this

1) be the best mom you can be with what you have right now. As he gets older, he will appreciate the example you are setting now.

2) he's not the only kid going through this, and you are not alone, either

3) if you have no resources now, how can you pick up and move to another state???? I think you're living in a bit of a fairy tale, there, to be bluntly honest.

4) what jobs are available out there now, that you can qualify for?


try some online classes, bump up your marketability, then plan your move.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)