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Having a hard time with 9 yo son

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies
My son won't stop lying. They aren't big lies but its everyday. About brushing his teeth, doing his homework etc. He claims he "forgot" or just shrugs his shoulders.

He's constantly testing me and doing things he KNOWS he's NOT supposed to be doing or supposed to be doing. Right in front of me. He constantly needs reminders or redirecting. If I tell him clean his room I literally have to sit there and direct his every move.

A lot of these things are ROUTINE THINGS. Things we have done for years and he still needs to be reminded.

I've talked until I'm blue in the face, I've taken things away, I've tried bribery, spanking . He just won't stop lying and misbehaving.

It's gotten so bad I feel like most of the day I'm fighting with him and its pushed me to tears almost every night. I'm just so frustrated!

He is hard of hearing in one ear and I've been looking into ADD and other things, I just can't believe that he is a "bad" kid. There has to be a reason for all these behavior problems! His pediatrician is not that big of a help.

I am a single mother, I left his dad when he was 4 and since than he's mostly been raised by me and his grandparents. A lot of these issues are just like how his father acts and I have been told personality can be genetics, not sure if I believe. He also doesn't act like this with anyone else but me.

Please help me.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 10, 2018 at 7:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MistyMoo
by Member on Jan. 10, 2018 at 7:58 PM
Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:03 PM
I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
MistyMoo
by Member on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:22 PM
Oh I understand, I have 4 kids. Mine aren't taught that behavior is ok either. I end up calling him out all the time and supervise him with whatever task. I'm hoping if I'm on his case all the time he'll stop lying about silly things.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:31 PM
I'm on his case so often I feel like all I'm doing is scolding him. I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy. I just wish one day we could have a good day where I won't have to yell at him for something or he'll just do what he's supposed to do without being told😭

Quoting MistyMoo: Oh I understand, I have 4 kids. Mine aren't taught that behavior is ok either. I end up calling him out all the time and supervise him with whatever task. I'm hoping if I'm on his case all the time he'll stop lying about silly things.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
MistyMoo
by Member on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:35 PM
I hear ya, it's just so time consuming and exhausting 😖

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm on his case so often I feel like all I'm doing is scolding him. I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy. I just wish one day we could have a good day where I won't have to yell at him for something or he'll just do what he's supposed to do without being told😭

Quoting MistyMoo: Oh I understand, I have 4 kids. Mine aren't taught that behavior is ok either. I end up calling him out all the time and supervise him with whatever task. I'm hoping if I'm on his case all the time he'll stop lying about silly things.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
Curlymom234
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:40 PM
I’m having the same problem! Mine is 6 and I don’t really know if it’s an ADHD thing or not.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:40 PM
Can you offer him some incentives or small rewards for completing his chores and routines.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm on his case so often I feel like all I'm doing is scolding him. I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy. I just wish one day we could have a good day where I won't have to yell at him for something or he'll just do what he's supposed to do without being told😭

Quoting MistyMoo: Oh I understand, I have 4 kids. Mine aren't taught that behavior is ok either. I end up calling him out all the time and supervise him with whatever task. I'm hoping if I'm on his case all the time he'll stop lying about silly things.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 10, 2018 at 8:59 PM
I have tried EVERYTHING. Even tho I don't agree with them getting rewards for doing things they should be doing. You mess up your room, you should clean it. Why get a reward for it? Why should they get a reward for brushing their teeth? Either way yes I have tried it. He lost a tooth the other day and instead of leaving him something the "tooth fairy" left him a note that said if he does his homework, keeps his room clean and has good table manners he'll get a special gift at the end of the week. Already by the end of that day I was like no he's not getting anything. By today, he's really not getting anything.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Can you offer him some incentives or small rewards for completing his chores and routines.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm on his case so often I feel like all I'm doing is scolding him. I'm tired of feeling like the bad guy. I just wish one day we could have a good day where I won't have to yell at him for something or he'll just do what he's supposed to do without being told😭

Quoting MistyMoo: Oh I understand, I have 4 kids. Mine aren't taught that behavior is ok either. I end up calling him out all the time and supervise him with whatever task. I'm hoping if I'm on his case all the time he'll stop lying about silly things.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I have 3 other kids. This is NOT normal this kid is a pain in my butt. My kids are not spoiled, nor are they taught this type of behavior is okay and what makes it worse is his brother is starting to pick up his habits.

Quoting MistyMoo: Omg my son is exactly like his father. He does all the same little things that his dad did that bothered me. He was much to young when we split to know he did any of those things. My son does the same thing and he's 10. I think that just comes with that age 🤷
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 10, 2018 at 9:03 PM

There are things my one son does that are identical to his paternal grandmother, and she died when he was 3.  Genetics are scary that way.  

Have you tried counseling, often times lying and behavioral issues stem from anxiety or other emotional distress.  And I am sure ADD could also be a factor.  My DD tends to be impulsive which is tied to her anxiety, therapy has helped her immensely.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 10, 2018 at 9:07 PM
I can’t help you. Ds is the same way and I have come to the conclusion that I will probably be taking care of him for the rest of his life.
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