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MIL πŸ™„

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 4:43 AM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this
A few things that I need to vent about MIL


MIL USED to be an amazing mother in law.. but maybe it's because we aren't around much because we live so far away I feel like every year me and dh are together she gets worse and worse.

She's constantly trying to parent my kids, and overstep us, when we were home over Christmas dh was getting after ds for something and before he could get whatever he was saying out of his mouth mil interrupted him and started saying the exact same thing to ds..and of course dh didn't say anything. DS NEVER even gets a drink of water without asking..it's just how he's always been, mil yelled at him at least 4 times for getting a drink of something I told him he could have, then when I let her know ds doesn't get into stuff without asking, she rudely said "I had kids too, I know they sneak things" in a condisending (sp?) tone. I so bad wanted to be like just because YOUR KIDS Snuck things doesn't mean mine do.


Ds isn't dhs bio son but he's been in ds life sense he was barley 2 and for all intensive purposes and all the ways that matter dh is ds dad, mil has ALWAYS excepted ds as her grandson, well dh step brother came back in the picture and has a son, she started pushing ds away and treating him like shit, only getting him in trouble for things all the kids were doing, just clearly favoring dd and sbil son, she introduced ds as her "premade" grandson which she has never done she's always said "this is my grandson", then her and sfil kept making comments, basically saying that dh wasn't ds biodad full well knowing ds doesn't know yet, as we have had that conversation with him quite yet.


she's constantly making excuses for dhs behavior saying he's doing this or that because he misses them and home...pretty sure if he missed them THAT much were he was being a dick to me he'd call them. And she constantly tells me I shouldn't be mad or irritated at dh for whatever reason I'm mad or irritated at him, and telling me I should feel whatever way she thinks I should feel, I can't stand when people tell me how I should feel, especially when it has to do with my marriage, she acts like she deals with dh on a daily basis and when he's being a jerk...

Last thing: she's always putting her opinion in were it's not needed or asked for when it has nothing to do with her or her life.

Sorry it's so long. I can't talk to dh about it because he gets mad like I'm some how attacking him.
by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 4:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Arrow659
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:21 AM

Sadly you can not change your mil. Very few men say anything to their mother. About the problem their wife has their mother. You can talk to your friends about the problem you have with your mil. Or you can accept how things are or not go around your mil.


juniors.mommy
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:24 AM
Thankfully we live 1500 miles from her...for now. I'm not looking forward to moving back we will only be an hour from her when we do..BUT if she tries any of that b.s in my house I will say something to her.

Quoting Arrow659:

Sadly you can not change your mil. Very few men say anything to their mother. About the problem their wife has their mother. You can talk to your friends about the problem you have with your mil. Or you can accept how things are or not go around your mil.

justnosy2090
by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:29 AM
Don't let her know anything about your marriage.

Lay off DS, he seems to have too many rules. We want children who will act and make decisions, not run to authority for permission.

Straight up tell them if they don't stop with the comments about DS, they won't be seeing any of your family any more.

You really need to look at how you're acting and reacting
juniors.mommy
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:38 AM
I don't anymore. And she was getting after ds for everything. It was never a set rule that he had to ask permission to get something to eat/drink he just did when he was younger because he couldn't reach stuff and I guess it kind of stuck I don't expect him to ask as long as it's not right before dinner but I think it just stuck. To be honest my kids don't really have any rules at all... Besides the normal no hitting and being mean and keep your room clean but other than that I'm a pretty relaxed mom, I grew up with a lot of rules and don't want to raise my kids the same way

Quoting justnosy2090: Don't let her know anything about your marriage.

Lay off DS, he seems to have too many rules. We want children who will act and make decisions, not run to authority for permission.

Straight up tell them if they don't stop with the comments about DS, they won't be seeing any of your family any more.

You really need to look at how you're acting and reacting
justnosy2090
by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:40 AM
That's good, sounds like mil maybe is jealous of you getting to live away and have dh all to yourself

Quoting juniors.mommy: I don't anymore. And she was getting after ds for everything. It was never a set rule that he had to ask permission to get something to eat/drink he just did when he was younger because he couldn't reach stuff and I guess it kind of stuck I don't expect him to ask as long as it's not right before dinner but I think it just stuck. To be honest my kids don't really have any rules at all... Besides the normal no hitting and being mean and keep your room clean but other than that I'm a pretty relaxed mom, I grew up with a lot of rules and don't want to raise my kids the same way

Quoting justnosy2090: Don't let her know anything about your marriage.

Lay off DS, he seems to have too many rules. We want children who will act and make decisions, not run to authority for permission.

Straight up tell them if they don't stop with the comments about DS, they won't be seeing any of your family any more.

You really need to look at how you're acting and reacting
happinessforyou
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 1:04 PM

If you live 1500 miles away, how is she so overly involved? On 1 visit this all happened? Don't visit anymore? How old are the IL's? Maybe they are getting older, and while they like the idea of you all visiting, maybe it is too much now?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:32 PM

Next time stay in a hotel and visit her for a few hours and then leave this way you don't wear out your welcome in her home.  Don't have any of your family help themselves to any food in her home because it's just plain rude to do that.   Nothing wrong in tell kids not to take something that doesn't belong to them in someone else home.  Teaching kids manners has not gone out of style and you should always ask for permission before taking anything.

happyonislands
by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:46 PM

Hang in there!  Dealing with mil can be challenging; however, communication is key.  Hopefully, you and mil have a good relationship that you can be honest and she doesn't take it the wrong way.  Be honest with her will be key, so you all can continue a good relationship in the long run.

Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 8:35 AM
First, I'm sorry. Second, your dh needs to,grow up and stand by his family and put boundaries in place for his mother's behavior. If he won't do it then you do it. She is overstepping in a huge way and you need to put a stop to it. You don't have to get angry or in her face, don't flip out and scream or cry, just be very firm and say 'I will parent my own child.' Ignore any snarkiness on her part. But honeatly, just don't visit her. Let your dh visit her himself. If you dh gets mad so what, he's acting like a child and needs a wakeup call. You have zero reason to suffer this woman's attitude or presence any further.
Shai4710
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 9:05 AM

Put her in her place if hubby won’t. 

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