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Should sister be in delivery room with me???

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So about a week ago I allowed my mother to see my 10 year old son because she had gotten some gifts for him.

For the past year the two of us have not been communicating due to her forcing her opinion and decisions on how to raise my son and dictate that I should medicate him when he was hospitalized for suicide.

So that was almost a year ago, I am currently expecting baby #2 (another boy) in a few weeks and during the visit with my son and mother, she also got boy themed baby clothes. I never told her what I was having, but I did tell her that I was pregnant in a letter with the first ultrasound picture I got from my Doctor's office. I told my sister what I was having and I'm realizing now that my sister told our mother what I'm having which disappoints me because that was my news to share not hers and if my mother really wanted to know she could have asked me.

I didn't make a big announcement on the gender of my baby to all my family or friends, I only told a couple of family and friends.

My sister is supposed to be in the delivery room with me as female support, but I feel like she invaded my privacy by telling our mother what I'm having and she knows we're not talking much so I feel like my privacy has been violated. So I feel like if my sister can violate my privacy what can she do while I'm in labor? I'm thinking about not having my sister in the room with me at all...

Am I being unreasonable or paranoid?
by on Feb. 7, 2018 at 8:19 PM
Replies (11-15):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2018 at 11:54 AM

If you told her that you didn't want your mom to know and she did anyway, it is reasonable to not want her in the delivery room with you. However, if you never told your sister that you didn't want others to know the gender of your baby, you cannot expect her to read your mind. You should discuss your privacy concerns with her and let her reaction determine whether or not you include her.

by Member on Feb. 8, 2018 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I guess I'm the odd one out, but I think you are overreacting. Did you tell her not to tell? You weren't speaking to your mom, so it's reasonable to assume that you didn't want to tell her. I would just ask her not to tell things that you told her in the future.

Personally, I feel like you need to stop trying to punish your family members. Mom questions you on a decision and you don't speak to her for two years. Sister says something to mom that you don't want her to know and you're trying to kick her out of the delivery room. Stop being petty.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2018 at 2:51 PM

I guess you can hold a grudge for as long as you deem necessary.  Does your sister even know you are pissed off? Did you tell her specifically not to tell your secret? If you didn't tell her not to tell anyone, especially your mom-her mom too-then you don't have anything to be mad about. You need to go have a face to face with your sister and explain it all to her and talk it out. You know, like grown people do.

by on Feb. 8, 2018 at 3:58 PM

Nope.  Tell her you've changed your mind and why.  Both mom and sister need to back off. 

by Member on Feb. 8, 2018 at 4:00 PM
Do what’s right for you. She did violate your trust but maybe she didn’t mean to, I would talk to her and tell her not to share anything else. If that’s the only thing she’s done I’d still let her be in the room.
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