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Mom Friend Trying to Boss Around My Kid

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So I have this friend who has a toddler and I have a school age child.  I noticed she corrects my child, tells her not to do stuff bc her child might do it.  Most of it is harmless, stuff a toddler should not or does not even have the ability to do yet, but stuff a child her age can getting out a stool to reach something or climbing up the slide at the park.  Sorry but it is not up to my kid to always be an example to your tot.  If you want to come meet us with our kids, you have to accept that we have an older kid and she is going to play like an older kid.  And she doesn't want to be your free babysitter and chase your kid everywhere.

Recently I had several friends over including them and one of them left early to take their kid home for bed.  The mom stayed and seriously tried to tell my kid she had to go onto bed bc her kid had to.

UM, NO.  My child did not have to go to bed yet, it is not a school night.  We may have company over, but she is in HER house and no she does not have to go to bed yet, and no she does not have to go sit in her room.  She wasnt even in the same room as us other than coming to the kitchen a few times for snacks.  Why are you telling MY kid what she can and cannot do in our home?   My child is old enough to be awake and not be in the same room as us, she was perfectly fine.  I sometimes think this friend is a bit jealous that our child is older and not as dependable on us, but we once had a toddler too.

Love my friend but needed to vent.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2018 at 1:31 PM
Replies (11-19):
by Member on Mar. 7, 2018 at 3:02 AM

Honesty is best, this would fester inside me until I lashed out in a negative way.  Best to deal with things when you know they are an issue.  Good luck and my lord I would be so annoyed by that. Stronger than I 

by New Member on Mar. 11, 2018 at 10:18 PM

I am so sorry about how you feel about your friend interefering and telling your daughter what she can do and cannot do in your own home. You are the mom and no one else has authority over your child. Have you considered just reaching out to your friend and expressing how you feel in a nice way? Establishing healthy boundaries in friendship is very important and by doing that you are also teaching your child to do the same when she faces such situations in the future. Good luck!

by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2018 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this
If she told my dd not to climb up on a stool, I would tell my dd, "You're fine sweetie" and then let my friends know she is allowed to do that.

It sounds like your friend doesn't care for your dd very much.
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2018 at 8:03 AM
Tell your friend that it’s not her job to correct your child and impose rules on your child. If she gets mad oh well.
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 12, 2018 at 12:51 PM

Have you confronted your friend about this at all? I have older sisters who try to do this. Not because they have kids younger or for any other reason but because, well, they are there and so they think it's a group effort. No. No. 
All it takes is me giving them a look and they snap out of that authority shit right quick. No. If I am there, you don't correct/advise/"help" my child(ren) at all. I got it. 

Have you confronted her about this or are you all agreeable and shit to her face, when she does it? Basically enabling her?

by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 12, 2018 at 1:12 PM

Your DD should be setting a good example with little one's around.  The only issue I have is with you letting your DD climb up the slide.  It is meant for sliding down, not climbing up.  I have two girls.  One is small for her age and I have never stopped her from doing something because of her size, but because things should be treated with respect and used properly.

Your friend should't be telling your DD when to go bed.  That is a parents responsibility.

My girls set a good example for little kids (toddlers) when they are around.  We have a few that they have babysat and they work hard to make sure that the kids aren't doing stuff they shouldn't be doing.

by New Member on Mar. 12, 2018 at 1:15 PM

Do you just let her keep bossing your kid around without saying anything?

by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 13, 2018 at 7:50 AM

Did you say something to her?  The longer you keep your mouth shut about this, the more she's going to think it's okay to do to your child.

by Member on Mar. 13, 2018 at 8:15 AM

If she's your friend, just be upfront and honest with her.  Maybe only having a smaller child, she doesn't realize what she's doing.  Or maybe she's just a bossy, control freak.  Either way, let 'er rip, tater chip.  If she doesn't like it - BYE!

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