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Forgive? Should i..?

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2018 at 3:43 PM
  • 7 Replies
Before me and my husband where married my mom would talk to us both just normally. We had an okay relationship me and her. And she knew all the problems my DD dad had when we were dating. I meet an old friend and talked to him for along time and we started dating. My mom started not to like that. Me going over with my DD and hanging out with his family and his son. I didnt mind cause not only was i finally getting my DD out and having friends her age but i was having fun too. She wanted me to go back or be by myself. I got a job and distance myself from him but on my break i would talk to him or if my DD went to her dads i would leave with my friend(husband now) he ask to live with him and i said yes i really loved being with him and my DD would ask for his son saying where's my friend? My mom and step dad had a huge argument with me but i still left and she told me she will get a lawyer on me. A month pass and i would still time to time talk to her i went to work leaving my DD with her dad cause i didnt have enough for daycare and they ask if they can have her 2 extra days i said fine cause i hate coming home so late and tired and she wants to play but come to fine out after those days i called my exs whole family to ask if they were bring her noone answered and i call my mom she called them saying they are taking emma they have a restraining order on me and I have to get a lawyer i called my bf at the time he rust out of Work and we called a lawyer and I told them all about it. I went throu a whole month not able to see her she was at my moms and i told her im her mom and im taking her and i rush over to pick her up my mom took her back my bf said its your mom helping them i didnt want to believe it. Till a month later we go to court and find out my mom told my ex that my bf is going to hurt emma and im not listening and she help him get a lawyer my dad was sitting on my side with my mom on my exs side. They were rubbing in i will never win his whole family on his side and my dad bf and my step mom on mine. I told the court bout his brother a sex offender his dad a abuser to their mom they had to flee for shelter my lawyer actually found documents of shelters with his mom's name on it and my ex recently arrested for dinking and driving and possession of marijuana. I seriously had nothing on me and i won. My mom was talk to their lawyer trying anything to get my DD. But his lawyer didnt want to fight this anymore cause of their lying.
(Now time)
Im married havent talk to my mom or that side of the family cause after all that she still made everyone think i was a badguy. Even talked bad bout me on FB and had people msging me saying i was a bad mom. Its been a year im pregnant and found out her life is falling apart. My stepmom said karma can be ugly. And my husband doesnt want her anywhere around our family cause she can start all over with emma dad. My stepmom said i have to forgive her for me to move on bout my madness over that. Should i?? After all she done. I had cried to her and she pretended she was not behind the whole situation. Asking bout what my lawyer found out everyday. Just to go to court and see her sit on his side smiling at me.
by on Apr. 16, 2018 at 3:43 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 6:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I’m sorry but I read your title in Yoda from Star Wars ‘s voice and I can’t take this seriously because I keep reading it in his voice
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 7:01 PM
2 moms liked this
You can forgive people who have wronged you for your own peace of mind and spirit, but that doesn't mean that you should have anything to do with them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 16, 2018 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the anonymous 2. I think you should forgive within your heart and wish the best for her. Letting go of hate will make room for sympathy or even pity. She can not be trusted, and that’s never going to change. Love her from a safe distance.
In her delusional mind, she probably really thought she was “saving” dd. It She seems like she needs some mental help, if she was so paranoid to go against her own daughter in an elaborate secret plan. She also seems starved to be a mother again but she had her time. She can’t have your dd to relive motherhood.

Forgive but don’t forget. Xoxo
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 17, 2018 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this
And again, forgiving and forgetting are 2 different things. It does not mean you need to let her in your life. You can forgive and still keep her away. She's toxic, manipulative and simply put horrible.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 18, 2018 at 7:08 AM
Ok, listen. Forgiving someone is what you do for yourself, it simply means you don't carry your anger around anymore. It does not mean what she did was ok or that you let her back into your life. So, let the anger go so it doesn't hurt you but absolutely don't ever talk to her again.
sarahfaith123
by Member on Apr. 18, 2018 at 7:52 AM
I don’t know. You’ve been through a lot with her and you’ve overcome a lot. It’s up to you if you want to forgive her but I would be very cautious and probably not leave her alone with your daughter
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 18, 2018 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this
As others have said, you can forgive a person, but never speak to them again.

Forgiveness does NOT mean you agree or accept what they've done. It just means that you have stopped obsessing over it, you have moved on, you no longer hold the anger inside you.

Forgiveness is more for you than them. You don't even have to tell them that you forgive them. What I've done is write a letter to a certain person who wronged me, as if they'll read it someday, but then I put it in my journal. It helped relieve me of all the anger I had pent up inside.

I still think about the situation now and then, but I never feel that burden of anger anymore.

It sucks that it was your own mother, and she probably had your dd's best interest at heart, but you need to forgive her and move on without her.
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