When the phone rang, she tried to stick a bottle into it.
And then she accidentally breast-fed a throw pillow.
Pretty much all the shelves in the fridge contain Five Hour Energy Drinks.
Pretty much all the shelves in the entire house contain Five Hour Energy Drinks.
Sets an alarm to wake her between each push of the baby swing.
She only realizes the bottles are done boiling when the fire department shows up.
She responds to the automated phone system with baby talk: "You want me to pay my bill? YES YOU DOOOOO!"
She tipped the delivery guy with popsicles.
The baby's first words are "I need to get some sleep."
BY: CALISE HAWKINS
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