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10 Paranoid Fears of a New Mom

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:28 AM
  • 7 Replies

10 Paranoid Fears of a New Mom

posted by Adriana Velez 


newborn babyI had no idea I'd be such a paranoid first-time mom. Some women have that baby and just take to motherhood like they were born to do it. But I was totally overwhelmed by the full weight of responsibility for keeping this tiny, helpless, fragile little human being alive. It's not like my son was born with a condition or disability that put him at risk. He was a perfectly healthy, alert newborn with all the promise you'd want your baby to have. Plus I was the oldest of five kids and had plenty of experience with babies. So why was I so afraid he wouldn't survive?

Maybe it's my overactive imagination -- I could picture my son dying in so many different ways.

1. What if I drop him and he breaks? Did I mention I was the oldest of five kids? I'd actually caused head injuries to all four of my siblings. I threw a bench at a sister's head (I was a toddler!), watched a brother squeeze through a banister railing and fall to the tile floor below, dropped my other brother on the basement floor when he was a newborn, and fumbled my youngest sister as well. They all survived, though ... more or less.

2. What if his big head snaps off that little neck? Seriously, guarding that giant melon stressed me out. No neck control is a freaky thing.

3. OMG, SIDS. Yes, I was one of those parents who checked to see if her baby was still breathing several times a night. He's 9 now, and I still occasionally peek in on him while he's sleeping because WHY IS HE SO QUIET?

4. What if he starves to death? Actually, this was a legitimate concern my first pediatrician plunked into my head. He wasn't gaining as fast as she wanted him to and blamed my less-than-ample milk supply. I supplemented with formula for a while, though, and it turned out all right. But that leads to the next fear ...

5. What if formula really is evil? Whatever, I kept nursing until he was almost 3. It was fine.

6. What if a random dog jumps up and tries to eat him? Seriously, where did I get these ideas?

7. What if he freezes to death? My son was born during a cold snap in January. We hibernated through most of the winter, and when we went out for doctor's visits, we'd bundle him up. But he was still breathing in that terrible chilly air.

8. What if the gods take him away because he's too perfect? By the way, I have no idea which gods would do this, but I was sure it was going to happen because he really was the most exquisite creature ever found on Earth and you know what happens when ordinary mortals find themselves in possession of something perfect.

9. What if someone breathes a horrible virus into his face? I live in New York City. It's crowded here. It could happen.

10. What if someone kidnaps my baby and I never see him again? (Not technically death, but it would feel that way to me.) Actually, my baby was kidnapped -- but by time. Happens to every baby. And I do wish sometimes I could hold my newborn again, just for a minute.

I just remember my son reaching his third month and thinking, "Phew! We made it. It's probably going to be okay."

Did you have paranoid fears about your first baby?

by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:28 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:46 AM

 I was convinced I was an unfit mother, and frankly somedays I still am. I had nannied newborns and such before though, so the actual newborn stuff wasn't really my concern.

by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Like EthansMomma2012-I was convinced I wasn't up to the job.  I worked in child care for six years before having my first.  I babysat tons of kids and babies.  I knew I could keep him alive but I worried about his quality of life (still do and he's ten!) and if I was making the right decisions.  I always will.  I do the same thing with my next two, too!

I also still check on all of them through the night when I pass by their bedrooms (at least twice, you know!)

The fear of them being hurt, run over by a car, if very real to me as I know someone who lost one of her children to a random accident in their own driveway.  Or them being kidnapped, they are the cutest kids wherever we go, you know!

by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:37 PM

I think the only one that really freaked me out was SIDS, it's terrifying to think your baby could just die in his/her sleep without any health problems.

by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 11:00 AM
I think I had a bunch of concerns....but then real life concerns took over, like my son not gaining weight, having tons of issues with nursing (we solved them all!), my son being allergic to a variety of foods, and having asthma....all before 4 months old.

By the time I got around to thinking about irrational things, I was like 'eh, I made it through all this, I can make it through whatever!'
by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 3:11 PM

Not really paranoid. I was more than ready to be a mom when I had my first son, Ian. I was just worried if I would be a good mom. I got the hang of things pretty fast ;).

by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM
I had ppd so i had a lot of fears.
by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 10:48 PM
I checked mine at least 100 times a night. If I went to sleep, I would sit straight up in the middle of the night in a panic...and go check on the baby. One of my friends lost a baby to SIDS, so that was always a real fear for me.
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