I really believed that I would be okay with my (now middle) baby starting kindergarten this year, but I'm finding myself more and more emotional about it.
He starts on the 19th of August, which is circled on our family calendar in bright colors. This is as much for him to start getting about it as it is for me to make my peace with it. In July? In July, I was fine. I was excited for him, even. But then we started inching closer to him starting and.. gah, now I'm pretty emotional about it. Have I mentioned being emotional? I feel like I'm EMOTIONAL.
But not, like, Whitney Houston emotional. When Whitney sings, "I get so emotional, baby," you get the impression that it's a good feeling she's having. Mine is likened to having a piece of your intestine slowly eaten away. You feel empty, but you don't know why.
(Due to the now 2 month old, I am also sleep deprived. Connection? NAAAHHH.)
Our mornings will soon be very different as a result. While we've had a pretty good schedule for the past year - and now he's self-sufficient enough that it runs like clockwork - and we had a slight wrench thrown in with an infant who is COMPLETELY selfish in his need for his own schedule. (.. I kid.) But when he starts school, mornings will start a full hour earlier to give everyone enough time to get ready.
And, of course, I cannot judge because I am already heading to work when they all will be waking up.
Next week is a "trial run" week, when my husband will get the boys ready as if they're heading to school. (Since two of them are still in daycare, they can technically get up and make it out the door with a purpose.) This will result in crazy cranky kids, tired and grumpy when they get home. But I'm hoping that an extra week will drive out the kinks before the official start of school, and maybe they'll have adjusted to a new bedtime as well.
... apparently, I am able to sidestep the emotional by focusing on routine. BREAKTHROUGH.
He's just getting so big, so fast. Just yesterday, I dropped him off at daycare. He helped me get the baby settled into his classroom, and then we went to the pre-K room. I opened my arms wide for a hug, and he stepped back from me.
"Hug me over here, Mom," he said.
I realized his friends could see us where I was.
He didn't want his friends to see him hug me.
The hardest part of love is letting go.
What's a good idea to do for his first morning of school? Is there a fancy, first day of school breakfast tradition at your house?