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Non Bio moms / the other mother

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(For families who had a baby together and your wife/gf gave birth and step moms.)

How does it feel to be the Non bio mom/ the other mother?  Has it affected your relationships, has the inlaws treated you differently to the bio mom? Have you noticed that health care providers treated you differently?  Was there anything you worried about, being the non bio mom and all (fears) If you are the step mom, how does that feel? How does that affect your relationship with your inlaws, wife/gf,the children?


I am the non bio mom, and I had alot of fears when my wife was prengnat, like people would tell me im not the mom, or they treate me differently but I wasnt worried about how my wife would treat me because she would never tell me I wasnt the mother. It was the little things I worried about, hell sometimes I still fear people are thinking Im not the mom, but now that we ar ttc soon, im worried the inlaws will treat dd differently to the baby i give birth to as its not going to be their bio grandbaby. They say they wont but time will tell.

by on Aug. 10, 2013 at 3:51 AM
Replies (11-18):
STVUstudent
by Member on Aug. 14, 2013 at 8:35 PM

some places are actually pretty good.  We stay in Virginia because my mom is here and it is pretty good for military retirees.  Once she is gone, though, we will probably move someplace more gay friendly...

beeuk
by Group Owner on Aug. 15, 2013 at 6:00 AM

I can undertand staying, I prob would to.

Quoting STVUstudent:

some places are actually pretty good.  We stay in Virginia because my mom is here and it is pretty good for military retirees.  Once she is gone, though, we will probably move someplace more gay friendly...


STVUstudent
by Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 7:53 AM

I worked with a pastor who has decided to stay and work within the political structure for change... I admire his courage... he and his husband have wanted to get married for years... they wait because they want to do it HERE.

deb51980
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 12:50 PM

Actually, the situation for gays and lesbians varies in America.  I think the laws in Connecticut are more favorable to gays and lesbians than the laws in the U.K. though the U.K partlement is moving forward, presently.  Passing through certain other American states, I'd keep a low profile....actually, my wife and I keep a low profile anyway as we are not political about it....we feel things are changing for the better and the more orderly the process, the better for all.  

Integration for African-Americans was jammed down the throats of those who resisted change by armed force from Washington D.C. and here it is 50 years later, and we simply have not moved beyond putting a racial cast upon events.  I think comparable progress has been made for gay/lesbians for legal equality but without the business of people taking to the streets when a legal result does not go "the right way."

I acknowledge that as a country, we Americans seem to be really stuck on anything to do with sex.  People simply over-react.  An instance comes to mind: A local minister was arrested on put on trial for the murder of his wife.  One of the items publicized by the prosecution was that pornography was found on his computer....not child pornography, but simply "pornography"...I think that is totally irrelevant to the question of whether he actually committed murder but the prosecution apparently feels that the jury will make a connection.    <groan>

America would be welcoming or not to an immigrating lesbian couple but deciding exactly where to live would matter, unfortunately.

Quoting beeuk:

Oh man thats messed up, this is why my wife doesnt want to move to america, they are still stuck in the old ways with gay rights.


Homeschoolmom99
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 9:28 PM

My ex goes to her more! Case in point? Child cut his hand on steak knife trying to open a crab leg! I had no car so called my ex, Kelly was at work so she was going to meet us at the hospital the whole way there he was saying "Mommie will be there when we get there don't worry" Now keep in mind I was in the car! He seemed more happy to see her then anyone in the car!

Quoting beeuk:

I am mama, Im home all day with baby DD, my wife works 9-5pm, I work night shift 10pm-7am part time. So I am the mama, the one our baby goes to when tired or hurt and wants cuddles. However the inlaws and everyone else still just goes to shell when its about our daughter. Its annoying that no one will come to me really but I just bite my tongue.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

I need to invite my wife here she is the non bio mom but really she is the most everyone talks too! I may be Mother but she is mommie!



beeuk
by Group Owner on Oct. 30, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Awww that has to hurt sometimes when your child doesnt want you.?

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

My ex goes to her more! Case in point? Child cut his hand on steak knife trying to open a crab leg! I had no car so called my ex, Kelly was at work so she was going to meet us at the hospital the whole way there he was saying "Mommie will be there when we get there don't worry" Now keep in mind I was in the car! He seemed more happy to see her then anyone in the car!

Quoting beeuk:

I am mama, Im home all day with baby DD, my wife works 9-5pm, I work night shift 10pm-7am part time. So I am the mama, the one our baby goes to when tired or hurt and wants cuddles. However the inlaws and everyone else still just goes to shell when its about our daughter. Its annoying that no one will come to me really but I just bite my tongue.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

I need to invite my wife here she is the non bio mom but really she is the most everyone talks too! I may be Mother but she is mommie!




Homeschoolmom99
by Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 3:12 PM

He has autism that day I was quite happy myself to see the women! Being that he was almost 11 when they met I am happy they have bonded so well.

Quoting beeuk:

Awww that has to hurt sometimes when your child doesnt want you.?

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

My ex goes to her more! Case in point? Child cut his hand on steak knife trying to open a crab leg! I had no car so called my ex, Kelly was at work so she was going to meet us at the hospital the whole way there he was saying "Mommie will be there when we get there don't worry" Now keep in mind I was in the car! He seemed more happy to see her then anyone in the car!

Quoting beeuk:

I am mama, Im home all day with baby DD, my wife works 9-5pm, I work night shift 10pm-7am part time. So I am the mama, the one our baby goes to when tired or hurt and wants cuddles. However the inlaws and everyone else still just goes to shell when its about our daughter. Its annoying that no one will come to me really but I just bite my tongue.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

I need to invite my wife here she is the non bio mom but really she is the most everyone talks too! I may be Mother but she is mommie!





beeuk
by Group Owner on Oct. 31, 2013 at 3:49 AM

Ohhh okay I didnt realise he had autism

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