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Gender fluid

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:19 AM
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My daughter is crying in her room bc she asked me earlier she wanted to go shopping for clothes. We just went on a long trip and I spent too much, basically, I can't really afford to but clothes right now.
I've been a little concerned she might like this guy who is 12 years older than her. The other day she was showing me a photo and I said I can't see, pass me the phone but she didn't want to. It made me feel suspicious. So tonight I asked her what's on her phone that she didn't want me to see. She said she was trying her older brothers clothes and took photos. And that's why she needs clothes, bc she doesn't want to use his.
She started crying when she asked me about being gender fluid. Then I said something and she replied, do I gave to say it out loud? So I didn't say anything after that.

I'm concerned she might like this guy bc he is super nice and sweet but he's been around and he is much older than her. She is only 15. Now she says this. I just don't know what to do.

My older son thinks I need to sign her up for something she'll like, like soccer. She's been asking for years to play. My dd doesn't have any friends either. She basically didn't go to school all year last school year and still manage to pass with all As. She is sick of school bc she doesn't feel challenge enough.

I thought sending her to Germany for 6 weeks would help her but her grandma on her dad's side didn't want to help and my parents were paying for most of it.

I'm not sure how to help my dd or what to day to her. We seem so close but when things like this happens, I feel so far away from her.

I've noticed she also gets upset when my older son comes over. She changes. I think she is jealous bc he gets all the attention.
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:19 AM
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Mandallyn
by Group Owner on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:41 PM

I don't know.  There's so much you could say about gender.  Most of it is pretty much made up rules that are enforced on people with a specific set of genitals.  Being gender-fluid, while not yet the norm, is not bad and is far more acceptable in girls than boys.  

There's so many kids that are beginning to show gender-fluidity.  The first one to come to mind is Willow Smith.  A good gender-fluid female adult is Ruby Rose.  I feel bad for your dd, there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  Could she do some chores around her neighborhood and make a little money so she can go shopping, even just to a thrift store?  

I haven't been through this with a teen, and their hormones are so hyper-active during this time I can't really offer and good advice.  I'm on a FB group called "Parents of Transgender Children."  A lot of the parents in this group have gender-fluid teens and they may be able to offer you some more advice on how to approach the subject in a sensitive way.

flika
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:59 PM
Thanks for the link. I'll join.

I'm taking my dd to get a lifeguard certificate. We talked about it before but I didn't look into it until last night.

I'm concerned she might be depressed. And this morning I found she had an app that is basically to hook up. You meet guys. I read about that app online and it says it's not for finding a significant other but just to have sex.


Quoting Mandallyn:

I don't know.  There's so much you could say about gender.  Most of it is pretty much made up rules that are enforced on people with a specific set of genitals.  Being gender-fluid, while not yet the norm, is not bad and is far more acceptable in girls than boys.  

There's so many kids that are beginning to show gender-fluidity.  The first one to come to mind is Willow Smith.  A good gender-fluid female adult is Ruby Rose.  I feel bad for your dd, there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  Could she do some chores around her neighborhood and make a little money so she can go shopping, even just to a thrift store?  

I haven't been through this with a teen, and their hormones are so hyper-active during this time I can't really offer and good advice.  I'm on a FB group called "Parents of Transgender Children."  A lot of the parents in this group have gender-fluid teens and they may be able to offer you some more advice on how to approach the subject in a sensitive way.

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