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I hit my rock bottom

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:44 PM
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After a rough week, I began drinking AGAIN. Three days ago, I drank an ungodly amount of beer and still couldn't sleep I was so upset. I thought, well, Fuck it, I'll take extra seizure meds bc they make me tired. So after all the beer and I won't say how many seizure pills, I looked online to make sure I hadn't overdosed. That's when I realized omg I've just killed myself. I'm going to die tonight. The sad part is that I really didn't care...until I started thinking about my Boys. About them coming in and finding my lifeless stiff body on the couch. What I would be taking away from them. What I had already taken from them. At that point I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything in my stomach. I prayed that night so hard for God to forgive me and give me one last chance. To just please let me wake up in the morning. That was my rock bottom. I can't do it anymore. And ever time I start to crave a drink, I think about that night now. As horrible as that was, I'm glad it happened bc until that day, I hadn't really seen the damage that shit will do to your life. So I'll probably be on here a lot for the next few weeks throughout my journey to sobriety. Glad to have this group.
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:44 PM
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letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 31, 2014 at 2:07 PM


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 14, 2014 at 10:25 PM

i want you here everyday so we can talk , even just     feel a bond , i care about you , .

Your rock bottom - whew- dont ever forger it ,

i am leaving you a inspiration everyday- just for you,

 glad your kids brought you back in a way- this is what worked for me ,

You have people who care for you and wqhat happens to you , you have people who think  about you , here is a pic of me so you feel you can connect even more        

LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 10:31 PM
Thank you so much and you're very pretty by the way. Do you care to share your story?

Quoting letstalk747:

i want you here everyday so we can talk , even just     feel a bond , i care about you , .

Your rock bottom - whew- dont ever forger it ,

i am leaving you a inspiration everyday- just for you,

 glad your kids brought you back in a way- this is what worked for me ,

You have people who care for you and wqhat happens to you , you have people who think  about you , here is a pic of me so you feel you can connect even more        

LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 10:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much and you're very pretty by the way. Do you care to share your story?

Quoting letstalk747:

i want you here everyday so we can talk , even just     feel a bond , i care about you , .

Your rock bottom - whew- dont ever forger it ,

i am leaving you a inspiration everyday- just for you,

 glad your kids brought you back in a way- this is what worked for me ,

You have people who care for you and wqhat happens to you , you have people who think  about you , here is a pic of me so you feel you can connect even more        

letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:05 PM

it starts with sexual abuse in my family , me cutting starting about age 7ish eating disorder 9ish till this day  ,  popping pills 7th grade off and on for years , drinking started late 20,s , i my early 30,s 1 year straight of a 1/5 a day of rum straight with pills , went inpatient treatment then 7 months of of outpatient , met my hubbs in treatment- verbal-physical abuse for years-we are seperated for over a year now  , bulimic many years, had a son that almost died at birth i was clean my whole pregnancy , my son is 14 and Intellectually Disabled and Autistic , i was a hairdresser 13 years , SAHM NOW , i have been thru alot and learned from it all , i have alot of insight and wont do things to kill my body again , my son needs me sober and to have my witts about me.

lucy164
by Support -peggy on Aug. 15, 2014 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so glad that you got back on the right path again.  Do you attend AA meetings?  Your journey to sobriety would be so much easier if you did.

letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 15, 2014 at 12:40 PM

  for me i did , AA , NA , OA , HAVENT BEEN TO A MEETING IN A LONG TIME,  im going to look some up

Quoting lucy164:

I'm so glad that you got back on the right path again.  Do you attend AA meetings?  Your journey to sobriety would be so much easier if you did.


LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow that's awful. I'm glad you got on the right track.

Quoting letstalk747:

it starts with sexual abuse in my family , me cutting starting about age 7ish eating disorder 9ish till this day  ,  popping pills 7th grade off and on for years , drinking started late 20,s , i my early 30,s 1 year straight of a 1/5 a day of rum straight with pills , went inpatient treatment then 7 months of of outpatient , met my hubbs in treatment- verbal-physical abuse for years-we are seperated for over a year now  , bulimic many years, had a son that almost died at birth i was clean my whole pregnancy , my son is 14 and Intellectually Disabled and Autistic , i was a hairdresser 13 years , SAHM NOW , i have been thru alot and learned from it all , i have alot of insight and wont do things to kill my body again , my son needs me sober and to have my witts about me.

LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 12:43 PM
I've tried meeting but I'm afraid of people so. It just gave me panic attacks lol

Quoting lucy164:

I'm so glad that you got back on the right path again.  Do you attend AA meetings?  Your journey to sobriety would be so much easier if you did.

letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM

i get panic attacks too , but its way less now , i have been thru years of group and 1 on 1 therapy that helped me greatly

Quoting LivingDeadGirlx: I've tried meeting but I'm afraid of people so. It just gave me panic attacks lol
Quoting lucy164:

I'm so glad that you got back on the right path again.  Do you attend AA meetings?  Your journey to sobriety would be so much easier if you did.


prdmama1154
by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm glad you things didn't turn out bad for you that night.  Good luck on your journey.  I've just started mine.  I drink hard as soon as I come home from work and black out.  Not every night, but just about.  I really messed up last night and decided that I'm not going to be that person anymore.  I'm breaking up with alcohol.  I'll do my best to check in here every day.  You should too :)

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