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After a rough week, I began drinking AGAIN. Three days ago, I drank an ungodly amount of beer and still couldn't sleep I was so upset. I thought, well, Fuck it, I'll take extra seizure meds bc they make me tired. So after all the beer and I won't say how many seizure pills, I looked online to make sure I hadn't overdosed. That's when I realized omg I've just killed myself. I'm going to die tonight. The sad part is that I really didn't care...until I started thinking about my Boys. About them coming in and finding my lifeless stiff body on the couch. What I would be taking away from them. What I had already taken from them. At that point I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything in my stomach. I prayed that night so hard for God to forgive me and give me one last chance. To just please let me wake up in the morning. That was my rock bottom. I can't do it anymore. And ever time I start to crave a drink, I think about that night now. As horrible as that was, I'm glad it happened bc until that day, I hadn't really seen the damage that shit will do to your life. So I'll probably be on here a lot for the next few weeks throughout my journey to sobriety. Glad to have this group.
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:44 PM
Replies (11-20):
LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this
What happened? You can tell us anything :) congrats on your new bbeginnnings btw!

Quoting prdmama1154:

I'm glad you things didn't turn out bad for you that night.  Good luck on your journey.  I've just started mine.  I drink hard as soon as I come home from work and black out.  Not every night, but just about.  I really messed up last night and decided that I'm not going to be that person anymore.  I'm breaking up with alcohol.  I'll do my best to check in here every day.  You should too :)

prdmama1154
by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 6:38 PM

I said some horrible things to my SO.  I mean, HORRIBLE things.  I was screaming like a maniac (my son was at his dads house).  I'm only like that when I drink.  I know saying mean things doesn't sound so bad, but it really is.  The things that come out of my mouth......I cut deep.  Worst thing is, I don't remember any of it.  Ever.  I'm tired of waking up the next morning not knowing if we're okay or not.  I'm tired of having to apologize.  Both him and my son deserve the sober me all the time.  

I've done other things too, I'll get to those someday.  It's embarrassing to see it all typed out like this.  Thank you for the congrats :)

Quoting LivingDeadGirlx: What happened? You can tell us anything :) congrats on your new bbeginnnings btw!
Quoting prdmama1154:

I'm glad you things didn't turn out bad for you that night.  Good luck on your journey.  I've just started mine.  I drink hard as soon as I come home from work and black out.  Not every night, but just about.  I really messed up last night and decided that I'm not going to be that person anymore.  I'm breaking up with alcohol.  I'll do my best to check in here every day.  You should too :)


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 15, 2014 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

we are all here for each other

Quoting prdmama1154:

I said some horrible things to my SO.  I mean, HORRIBLE things.  I was screaming like a maniac (my son was at his dads house).  I'm only like that when I drink.  I know saying mean things doesn't sound so bad, but it really is.  The things that come out of my mouth......I cut deep.  Worst thing is, I don't remember any of it.  Ever.  I'm tired of waking up the next morning not knowing if we're okay or not.  I'm tired of having to apologize.  Both him and my son deserve the sober me all the time.  

I've done other things too, I'll get to those someday.  It's embarrassing to see it all typed out like this.  Thank you for the congrats :)

Quoting LivingDeadGirlx: What happened? You can tell us anything :) congrats on your new bbeginnnings btw!
Quoting prdmama1154:

I'm glad you things didn't turn out bad for you that night.  Good luck on your journey.  I've just started mine.  I drink hard as soon as I come home from work and black out.  Not every night, but just about.  I really messed up last night and decided that I'm not going to be that person anymore.  I'm breaking up with alcohol.  I'll do my best to check in here every day.  You should too :)


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 16, 2014 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 18, 2014 at 2:29 PM


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 18, 2014 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 20, 2014 at 12:05 AM
2 moms liked this


LivingDeadGirlx
by Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Dh a and I fought our first battle yesterday. I was offered morphine (I turned it down) and Dh had to go down the beer isle to get US a case of energy drinks and we both passed on our problems yay!

Quoting letstalk747:

letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 20, 2014 at 1:40 PM

 im soooo glad you guys passed simple smilehigh fivelittle flower

Quoting LivingDeadGirlx: Dh a and I fought our first battle yesterday. I was offered morphine (I turned it down) and Dh had to go down the beer isle to get US a case of energy drinks and we both passed on our problems yay!
Quoting letstalk747:


letstalk747
by Support- owner joy on Aug. 20, 2014 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this


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