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WWYD...opinions please

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:39 AM
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We got a call last week from the hospital SD is at for her 'emergency stay'. The 72 hour stay is going on four weeks. She has cut us off from all of her therapists, so a call is very unusual. It means a health issue or an emergency.

In short, SD reported to her therapist last Monday that she had sex in a bathroom with a male patient. The therapist can't tell us because it was disclosed in therapy, but he must tell the hospital because it involved another resident. The hospital must tell us because they have to launch an investigation involving SD and because we have a legal right to press charges.

SD is 17. 16 is the age of sexual consent in our state. We do not know the age of the male. She seeks out sex with males or females in every mental health setting she has been in - frankly, in every setting of every kind! When DH checks her in, he warns them of this. We do not know if MIL or her therapist did this time. It should, however, be in her chart - she has been in this facility before. It is also common in her diagnoses. She was taken Friday, the day of the call, for an exam and STD/pregnancy testing. She is in the pill. The sex was unprotected and presumably consensual. No rape is alleged.

So.... Would you call the police and press charges? What would influence your decision?
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
oldproatthis
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:01 AM

Wow, the facility should be handling her better. They know. I would honestly not press charges, it may just be a waste of your time...this is going on between two inpatient psych patient...mental competence and consent...on BOTH parts will be an issue...she will be considered as guilty as he is if he's a patient and she's above the age of consent. 

Now, knowing her history, I would meet with risk management and the administrator's at the facility and sget serious about he bullshit of you guys always getting the call when no one else can seem to have their shit together about her care and now something serious has happened at an inpatient facility. You do have ammunition and their attention now.

oldproatthis
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:05 AM

Check in your state Hopes. At the point at which a patient goes involuntarily committed in most states the next of kin, which in your case is dad, should be consulted for her care, by definition, she's mentally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and a danger to herself or others...this needs to be taken up with her care team...he should have been contacted sooner to be able to warn of her issues. The bullshit of him not being allowed to be involved in her care should be moot at that point, she's legally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and can't make that decision.

HopesNDreams
by Group Owner on May. 4, 2014 at 10:28 AM
Quoting oldproatthis:

Check in your state Hopes. At the point at which a patient goes involuntarily committed in most states the next of kin, which in your case is dad, should be consulted for her care, by definition, she's mentally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and a danger to herself or others...this needs to be taken up with her care team...he should have been contacted sooner to be able to warn of her issues. The bullshit of him not being allowed to be involved in her care should be moot at that point, she's legally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and can't make that decision.



This is part of the problem. First, age of mental health consent is 14. She is in charge of her own mental health care. DH is only in charge of medical care. Second, because of the way the school (mis)handled the entire situation, SD was able to admit herself. It is not an involuntary committal. She can, quite literally, sign herself out at any point and the hospital/family would have to fight legally to keep her in. I'm not sure how much of that she knows.

He cannot contact her care team. Well, he can contact them, but they cannot contact him back regarding any of her mental health issues because she has removed her consent.
HopesNDreams
by Group Owner on May. 4, 2014 at 10:35 AM
Quoting oldproatthis:

Wow, the facility should be handling her better. They know. I would honestly not press charges, it may just be a waste of your time...this is going on between two inpatient psych patient...mental competence and consent...on BOTH parts will be an issue...she will be considered as guilty as he is if he's a patient and she's above the age of consent. 

Now, knowing her history, I would meet with risk management and the administrator's at the facility and sget serious about he bullshit of you guys always getting the call when no one else can seem to have their shit together about her care and now something serious has happened at an inpatient facility. You do have ammunition and their attention now.



They are actually using as further justification for why she should not be in residential care. This made my head spin. Rather than it being their lapse in security in any way, it is just proof that she is too ...what?? mentally ill? manipulative? to be in a hospital? They feel it is proof she needs to go back to MIL's right away and be in a home environment. Yes! Because there is no one to have unprotected sex with out there!!!! OMG.

We have lost all faith in the entire system. Without any input, we just feel the only thing DH can do is visit and call as much as he can. Beyond that, we need to stay away from it. We can't be constantly assaulted by something we aren't permitted to be involved in fixing.

oldproatthis
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Well then if it was not an involuntary commitment then that's a different story. In metal health facilities between patients, because of issues with competency and consent, there likely is no prosecutable crime...I'm not sure what you could report...and if she was Voluntarily committed and her "partner" sicker and not deemed competent to consent, well, guess who is the criminal then and who victimized who...I would think hard before I turned this criminal, you are dealing with a seriously mentally I'll young woman. Now, the facility, that is a different story all together. They have a serious responsibility to their resident's. I would be on their doorstep as to how at an inpatient facility the oversight was that lax with her history that this could happen....I would make them very afraid of me and the idea of legal action...you do have grounds for a suit here.

Quoting HopesNDreams:
Quoting oldproatthis:

Check in your state Hopes. At the point at which a patient goes involuntarily committed in most states the next of kin, which in your case is dad, should be consulted for her care, by definition, she's mentally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and a danger to herself or others...this needs to be taken up with her care team...he should have been contacted sooner to be able to warn of her issues. The bullshit of him not being allowed to be involved in her care should be moot at that point, she's legally incompetent on an involuntary commitment and can't make that decision.

This is part of the problem. First, age of mental health consent is 14. She is in charge of her own mental health care. DH is only in charge of medical care. Second, because of the way the school (mis)handled the entire situation, SD was able to admit herself. It is not an involuntary committal. She can, quite literally, sign herself out at any point and the hospital/family would have to fight legally to keep her in. I'm not sure how much of that she knows. He cannot contact her care team. Well, he can contact them, but they cannot contact him back regarding any of her mental health issues because she has removed her consent.


oldproatthis
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I would start gathering records and medical malpractice attorney's name quite honestly.

Quoting HopesNDreams:
Quoting oldproatthis:

Wow, the facility should be handling her better. They know. I would honestly not press charges, it may just be a waste of your time...this is going on between two inpatient psych patient...mental competence and consent...on BOTH parts will be an issue...she will be considered as guilty as he is if he's a patient and she's above the age of consent. 

Now, knowing her history, I would meet with risk management and the administrator's at the facility and sget serious about he bullshit of you guys always getting the call when no one else can seem to have their shit together about her care and now something serious has happened at an inpatient facility. You do have ammunition and their attention now.

They are actually using as further justification for why she should not be in residential care. This made my head spin. Rather than it being their lapse in security in any way, it is just proof that she is too ...what?? mentally ill? manipulative? to be in a hospital? They feel it is proof she needs to go back to MIL's right away and be in a home environment. Yes! Because there is no one to have unprotected sex with out there!!!! OMG. We have lost all faith in the entire system. Without any input, we just feel the only thing DH can do is visit and call as much as he can. Beyond that, we need to stay away from it. We can't be constantly assaulted by something we aren't permitted to be involved in fixing.


Leigh84
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow! I don't know if I would press charges or not but the hospital should definatly be keeping a better eye on her. That's crazy she was able to have sex in the bathroom.
tiafez
by on May. 4, 2014 at 5:17 PM

was the partner she hadsex with an older male? is there any way to find out? can they even verify that it occurred? 


I wish I had advice, but I am sitting here sending you my best thoughts.

HopesNDreams
by Group Owner on May. 4, 2014 at 5:28 PM
They used the word 'alleged' in almost every sentence. They will not tell is anything about the guy. My best guess is he is over 16 and under 18. If he was not, this would be a crime against one of them.

Quoting tiafez:

was the partner she hadsex with an older male? is there any way to find out? can they even verify that it occurred? 

I wish I had advice, but I am sitting here sending you my best thoughts.

Silent_Sea
by on May. 5, 2014 at 2:47 PM

I am not sure what I'd do. I don't think I would report it to police but I would contact an attorney. There was negligence and lack of supervision. 

I thought they separated them from the opposite sex? At least prevent, pregnancy and such.  I think it would be really really hard if not impossible to prevent teens from having sex (since she is seeking out both sexes) when they are mentally ill like she is. They would have to have her in isolation would can't be good either. 

I don't think I have a lot of advice here.  /sigh Wow! What a mess.

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