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Still no connection

Posted by on May. 8, 2016 at 6:15 AM
  • 7 Replies
First id like to start by saying I've already asked about PPD and the doc said that's not it. Second I am not going to hurt my baby.
I just don't like her. With my first we had that bond by the time he was 2 months. With my second I still wish I hadn't had her. She's 4 months now and she's still awful. She just cries all the time. And by cry I mean pig squeal screams for hours. Not matter what I do. I'm taking her to multiple doctors to find out what's wrong, but nothing's helped (she also does like to eat and isn't growing). I know babies cry and obviously something isn't right, but I still can't stand her. I still love life I just wish I could drop her off somewhere for a while.
I think what adds to this other than her crying is that fact my husband left so I'm on my own and no one ever wants to be around us. I mean who wants to come over and hangout when there's a baby screaming so loud you can't talk. I try to go out but after a few minutes of everyone staring at me or asking what's wrong I give up. They all give such judgey looks because I'm not doting over her. It's like I know no matter what I do she won't stop so I just go into mission mode to get done what I have to finish so I can go. It's just so isolating. Even my family doesn't want to help with her. I have one person who likes her and watches her while I work. I could probably get them to watch her a so I can have a little time without her (and not at work) but they charge $10 an hour and money is just so tight.
Anyone else have little pig squealers?
by on May. 8, 2016 at 6:15 AM
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Replies (1-7):
AzariahsMother
by on May. 9, 2016 at 12:28 PM

It brings me to tears reading this.  I'm very sorry you are going through a difficult time right now with DD.  Maybe the way she is reacting is due to her feeling unloved by you?? I know you say that you love her, but are you really showing her that??  Babies can tell things like this and even if you are communicating your dislike that is also verbal abuse.  Having a new baby can be stressful for anyone.  And just because you don't have a bond with her doesn't mean you won't  Every baby is different. 

What are the doctors saying to you?

Take a deep breath.  Maybe looking for a baby-sitter/nanny to come help you out from time to time.  Someone in high-school or a college student just starting out in childcare or something like that.  Getting extra help isn't bad.

My DD isn't squealer, but we did have periods when she was unhappy.  Example she hated the car.  We have gotten over it but she really did hate the car for a period of time.  I couldn't go anywhere.  Or being in public she would cry most of the time.  She is 5 months now and I would say she did this from birth - 3 months so it's just started to get better. 

Have you thought about Mommy/Me classes?     

I'm also going to be leaving this group since it's not active.  If you want to send me a PM feel free.  Hope things do get better for you soon.

vcory
by Member on May. 10, 2016 at 2:16 AM
I'm so SO sorry. I can't even imagine. Has she gotten any testing done to see if her body can't absorb nutrients? Are you giving her food or rice cereal? Babies can't digest anything until they're sitting on their own and have lost their tongue thrust (pushing food out of their mouth w/ their tongue).
vcory
by Member on May. 10, 2016 at 2:20 AM
And I would definitely not rule out PPD. If you can, see a counselor ASAP and get eventuatef by someone who really knows what to look for.
Seximama23
by Member on May. 10, 2016 at 10:23 AM
Colic? Reflux? There are numerous reasons babies cry.

I feel you though. I felt the same way after my daughter finally at 4 weeks postpartum I broke down to my doc and he put me on Zoloft I still have rough days but I don't hate my baby any more.

I was in a dark place I would just lay in my bed not wanting to move and wishing someone else would feed her.

My daughter has reflux and just screamed after every nursing session.

Hang in there mama.
Lizzy0022
by New Member on May. 11, 2016 at 10:11 PM
Thanks for all of your advice. My daughters 4 months so I keep hoping she'll grow out of this soon. I'm hoping maybe she will once she starts to be able to move around on her own. And I'm not verbally abusing her- I don't discuss my lack of bonding with her. I try to stay positive when I tak with her and if it's not 100% positive (like when I ask her why she's so difficult) I make sure to say it in a positive happy tune.
The doctors have said colic and reflux. She was on medicine for reflux but it didn't help so they said that wasn't it. She's in occupational therapy for sucking problems and jaw stability. We have a gi appointment to do a swallow test and other intestinal testing (I'm not sure what all they have planned yet). We also are working with an ENT. He thinks is a sensory issue.
I'm finding everyone is "finding" something more because they're looking for something than that's there's actually something there. If that makes sense.
As far as rice cereal. I tried it a few times (the doctors told me to do it in her bottles to thicken and help her swallow as well) but she screams anytime I try to feed he rang (spoon or bottle). She's still so young I don't want to push it too much. She really doesn't seem to like it.
I'm a teacher so I'm really hoping once schools out and I can spend all day with her we will start to really bond.
Seximama23
by Member on May. 14, 2016 at 10:26 AM
Maybe when as allergies? Milk soy protein intolerance. I am day 2 dairy free and nursing because my daughter keeps having green mucus poo and will just scream like a raptor out of no where like she is in pain. Maybe try a good probiotic too. Klair labs infant formula is a good one.

Quoting Lizzy0022: Thanks for all of your advice. My daughters 4 months so I keep hoping she'll grow out of this soon. I'm hoping maybe she will once she starts to be able to move around on her own. And I'm not verbally abusing her- I don't discuss my lack of bonding with her. I try to stay positive when I tak with her and if it's not 100% positive (like when I ask her why she's so difficult) I make sure to say it in a positive happy tune.
The doctors have said colic and reflux. She was on medicine for reflux but it didn't help so they said that wasn't it. She's in occupational therapy for sucking problems and jaw stability. We have a gi appointment to do a swallow test and other intestinal testing (I'm not sure what all they have planned yet). We also are working with an ENT. He thinks is a sensory issue.
I'm finding everyone is "finding" something more because they're looking for something than that's there's actually something there. If that makes sense.
As far as rice cereal. I tried it a few times (the doctors told me to do it in her bottles to thicken and help her swallow as well) but she screams anytime I try to feed he rang (spoon or bottle). She's still so young I don't want to push it too much. She really doesn't seem to like it.
I'm a teacher so I'm really hoping once schools out and I can spend all day with her we will start to really bond.
oh-ok
by Member on Jul. 7, 2016 at 9:33 PM
I wish I had seen this earlier but I haven't been very active in the group.

How are you doing? Baby is over 6 months now... Is she doing any better? Are you guys bonding any closer?

Thinking of you and hoping all is well!
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