Hubby's best friend going through a divorce

[carole76]

Hubby has been going out more and more with his one set of friends a lot in the last two months. It was getting to the point I didn't think my husband wanted to stay home with his family, but he just told me this week, his best friend is going the a divorce and he promised his best friend he would not tell me. (not tell your wife!).
I am fine now that hubby is going out with his friend now that I know the reason, I feel bad for the guy and glad he can turn to his friends to deal with his cheating wife.
I just wish I knew earlier so I didnt think my husband was trying to avoid us to go drink a few with the guys.
When I went through my divorce many many years ago, my friends are who got me through, I don't know what would have happened to me with out my friends.
The only worry I have now, is my kids they don't understand why Daddy has to work so much. They think when he leaves he is going to work, and lately there have been a lot of afternoons he has missed tucking them in, and having play time. My little girl, asked me tonight "why does Daddy work so much"
I tell her, that her daddy and mommy love her very much, and daddy has to work so we can have the house we live in, and toys.
I don't know if that is the best thing to say but I think I aught to tell hubby that she is asking a lot, or should I keep her questions to me, and let hubby take care of his friend.

[Mdmooch]

That's a tough one Carole. Sorry his friend is going through that, but glad he has a good friend in your husband.  I think I would let him know that she has been asking lately and maybe see if he can set aside some daddy daughter time so they get that one on one time.  No matter how you put it I know it will be hard to not make him feel bad about it, but maybe just say instead of doing a family thing he does something with her alone.  Not that family time isn't important, but at least you understand what's going on and she doesn't.  And not that little C isn't important too, but big C is obviously noticing something.  I am sure things will die down once his friend gets his feet on the ground.

[CwgrlMama]

I think the special time for them is a great idea! I think that hearing her questions from you would probably be easier than hearing them from her. He'll have time to decide how to react and handle it.

[KatieB416]

Does the friend getting divorced have any single friends? Maybe leave after kiddos are in bed? You're handling the situation better than I think I would. I rely on my husband's help a lot at night.

Every marriage is unique and different, just make sure energy is being invested into your marriage and family, as well. I just wouldn't want you and the kids to come second, if all this going out goes on too much longer.

[carole76]

Yes, and he is staying at one of his single friends homes. I have no idea where this friend lives but hubby was home by 11:15. At least this time, I didn't have to stay up so late waiting.
I have talked to my husband about inviting him over for dinner, or just have him over for a fire later on, but he says no. I just feel so bad for the guy. His wife has always been kinda weird. She had surgery 3 years back on her stomach, and lost a lot of weight in a years time. She liked her new body and started flaunting it around, going out to clubs with her girl friends. She was always accusing him of a straying eye when she was the one that went elsewhere for attention. Just sad.

[KatieB416]

Aw...Poor guy.

[Hyacinth72]

I think you are handling this situation very well. I count on help in the evenings too and it would be tough if my husband was gone. He is alreay at work for 15 hours a day. With that being said, it is wonderful your husband can be such a support system to his friend. You know how guys can be and it speaks volumes about your husband:)