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Leaving the older siblings

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 10:10 AM
  • 18 Replies
I have been having major anxiety over the thought of leaving my daughter when I have this baby. She just turned 3 on Monday so she somewhat understands what is going to be happening. She will be with my parents and will probably be spoiled rotten and not want to come home, lol! I don't know why I feel so bad/guilty. I am a special education teacher so she is use to going to her sitters house and not being home all day with me although I have a ton of vacations. I just keep telling myself that once I am home from the hospital we will have all spring and summer together before I go back to work at the end of August. I am so excited to give her a little brother and watch them grow and interact with each other, I just wish I could not worry about her while I am in the hospital.

Does anyone else feel this way?
by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 10:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mamaofblessings
by Rachel on Mar. 30, 2016 at 10:17 AM

I have for mine all the time. This is the first time im having them at home with me and my anxiety is a lot less...its going to be hard at home, but the stress of my kids not knowing what they are doing and such  and i can still be active with them

luckyinlife
by Christina on Mar. 30, 2016 at 11:35 AM
Are you going from 1 to 2 children? That is a hard transition. I am betting that is more of where your anxiety is coming from then the actually leaving her part. Squeeze in lots of one on one time and enjoy your only child for a bit. After the baby is born it will all fall in place and be OK!
IcHoKeOnNeRdZzZ
by Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:01 PM
I'm used to the desperation from my kids while I go and have baby. I know they'll be fine and will be extra excited when we get home so I'm just looking forward to bringing home their baby brother. :)
lmp824
by Laura on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes I am going from 1 to 2 and I have heard from others that that is the hardest transition. I am just so worried about when I am in the hospital for no reason. My parents and her will be fine and they will bring her to visit. I think it will be a different kind of hard once we are all home. I will just be relieved when we are all under the same roof.

Quoting luckyinlife: Are you going from 1 to 2 children? That is a hard transition. I am betting that is more of where your anxiety is coming from then the actually leaving her part. Squeeze in lots of one on one time and enjoy your only child for a bit. After the baby is born it will all fall in place and be OK!
Mamaofblessings
by Rachel on Mar. 30, 2016 at 1:41 PM

Im having my 7th and i think my hardest was 3 to 4. With 1 to 2 i just had a carrier for number 2 and carried him everywhere, 3 was my best transition because 1&2 went to play while i nursed...it was when i had 3 under 3

Quoting lmp824: Yes I am going from 1 to 2 and I have heard from others that that is the hardest transition. I am just so worried about when I am in the hospital for no reason. My parents and her will be fine and they will bring her to visit. I think it will be a different kind of hard once we are all home. I will just be relieved when we are all under the same roof.
Quoting luckyinlife: Are you going from 1 to 2 children? That is a hard transition. I am betting that is more of where your anxiety is coming from then the actually leaving her part. Squeeze in lots of one on one time and enjoy your only child for a bit. After the baby is born it will all fall in place and be OK!


TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Mar. 30, 2016 at 2:30 PM
One to two is hard. and leaving a 3 yo overnight if you don't do it often is hard too. Has she stayed over your parents house before?

I'm not anxious about that part at all, but my kids are 12 and 13 and we all welcome a night away once in a while ;). I'm super anxious about life with a newborn all over again.
lmp824
by Laura on Mar. 30, 2016 at 2:41 PM
No she has never had a sleepover without me there. We have been talking about it and she knows it is going to happen but I still worry that she will have a hard time, especially because it will most likely be 3 nights. I have a scheduled c section and I have to be there at 5:30 am then the 2 nights that I will be in the hospital for. My husband wants to stay with me and the baby and I want that too since I'll be sore from the surgery and he can help out. I think it is just one of those things I am over thinking :/

I am sure you will do just fine going back to the newborn life! At least your kids are old enough to pretty much take care of themselves and will understand that life is going to be crazy for awhile. I bet that they will be in love with their little sister/brother!

Quoting TJandKarasMom: One to two is hard. and leaving a 3 yo overnight if you don't do it often is hard too. Has she stayed over your parents house before?

I'm not anxious about that part at all, but my kids are 12 and 13 and we all welcome a night away once in a while ;). I'm super anxious about life with a newborn all over again.
TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on Mar. 30, 2016 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this
When is your csection? I wonder if it could help both of you if you did a practice run beforehand? Have you asked if your parents would stay at your house with her? It might be easier on her. Most likely though, she will be fine with it and you are the one that will be worried ;) that's what moms do. And your parents can bring her to visit any time. And you are right to be excited about giving her a brother and loving watching their bond as they grow up together! Chances are, she won't even remember that you stayed in the hospital with him (I was 3 when my brother was born...I don't remember anything about that time!)

Thanks. I am lucky they can take care of themselves and help me out at first. They are great kids so I know they will be super helpful. I'm worried about some jealousy, especially for my 12 yo, but she will be OK.

Quoting lmp824: No she has never had a sleepover without me there. We have been talking about it and she knows it is going to happen but I still worry that she will have a hard time, especially because it will most likely be 3 nights. I have a scheduled c section and I have to be there at 5:30 am then the 2 nights that I will be in the hospital for. My husband wants to stay with me and the baby and I want that too since I'll be sore from the surgery and he can help out. I think it is just one of those things I am over thinking :/

I am sure you will do just fine going back to the newborn life! At least your kids are old enough to pretty much take care of themselves and will understand that life is going to be crazy for awhile. I bet that they will be in love with their little sister/brother!

Quoting TJandKarasMom: One to two is hard. and leaving a 3 yo overnight if you don't do it often is hard too. Has she stayed over your parents house before?

I'm not anxious about that part at all, but my kids are 12 and 13 and we all welcome a night away once in a while ;). I'm super anxious about life with a newborn all over again.
SamKSanders
by Samantha on Mar. 30, 2016 at 3:26 PM
Yes! I do! My son just turned 2. So he has no idea what's going on or what's going to happen once I go into labor. My mil is coming to our house to stay with him, though, so that he is in a familiar place with his own bed and own toys. I'm sure he will have a blast, because he adores his Nana. I'm the only one stressed about it. I've been away from him for a night at a time but not 2-3 nights. :-/
lmp824
by Laura on Mar. 30, 2016 at 3:44 PM
My csection is next Friday. We did talk about a trial run so maybe I will get the ball rolling and have them do that this weekend. I told my parents it was up to them on where they sleep and they would rather try it at their house, which is fine. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out so then they will stay at my house. She has toys there plus I'll pack up her favorites. I really think she will be fine but I just help but worry!

Quoting TJandKarasMom: When is your csection? I wonder if it could help both of you if you did a practice run beforehand? Have you asked if your parents would stay at your house with her? It might be easier on her. Most likely though, she will be fine with it and you are the one that will be worried ;) that's what moms do. And your parents can bring her to visit any time. And you are right to be excited about giving her a brother and loving watching their bond as they grow up together! Chances are, she won't even remember that you stayed in the hospital with him (I was 3 when my brother was born...I don't remember anything about that time!)

Thanks. I am lucky they can take care of themselves and help me out at first. They are great kids so I know they will be super helpful. I'm worried about some jealousy, especially for my 12 yo, but she will be OK.

Quoting lmp824: No she has never had a sleepover without me there. We have been talking about it and she knows it is going to happen but I still worry that she will have a hard time, especially because it will most likely be 3 nights. I have a scheduled c section and I have to be there at 5:30 am then the 2 nights that I will be in the hospital for. My husband wants to stay with me and the baby and I want that too since I'll be sore from the surgery and he can help out. I think it is just one of those things I am over thinking :/

I am sure you will do just fine going back to the newborn life! At least your kids are old enough to pretty much take care of themselves and will understand that life is going to be crazy for awhile. I bet that they will be in love with their little sister/brother!

Quoting TJandKarasMom: One to two is hard. and leaving a 3 yo overnight if you don't do it often is hard too. Has she stayed over your parents house before?

I'm not anxious about that part at all, but my kids are 12 and 13 and we all welcome a night away once in a while ;). I'm super anxious about life with a newborn all over again.
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