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"Banned from Walmart"

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 4:52 PM
  • 8 Replies
  • 398 Total Views
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired,
and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go
with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so
bored with all the shopping trips. He
prefers to get in and get out,
but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter
from Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your
husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may
ban both of you from our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our
video surveillance equipment.

All complaints against Mr. Fenton
are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3... July 7: Made a trail of tomato
juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee
and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in house wares.....
and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk
and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION
- WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they
can help him, he begins to cry and asks,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, asked the clerk if he
knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department,
practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing
rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement
came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO!
It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room,
shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled
very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 4:52 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by New Member on Jun. 20, 2007 at 4:54 PM
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 6:31 PM
by Member on Jun. 22, 2007 at 2:51 PM
omg that was so funny. roflmao
by on Jun. 25, 2007 at 8:17 PM
I just love #10!
by Member on Jun. 26, 2007 at 1:55 AM
too funny!!!! i laughed til i was crying! i was trying to read this to my mom and i couldnt'  do it, i was laughing so hard i couldn't talk!!!!
by on Jun. 27, 2007 at 12:04 AM
2 funny
by Member on Jun. 28, 2007 at 10:00 AM


by on Jul. 8, 2007 at 11:29 PM
I think this is about my own grandparents.
It sounds like something my grampa would do.

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