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Biggest changes...

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 9:13 AM
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Hi Ladies,

I am finding that I have to use new skills to help my son navigate life, school, friendships now. He does not want my help in ways he used to. He needs more freedom and privacy.

What about you? What are you doing differently? Have you started letting go a bit, letting them make more choices for themselves? Is it hard? Do you miss them being little? Is it all happening a little too fast?

by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 9:13 AM
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Replies (1-6):
jowen905
by Member on Mar. 14, 2016 at 2:11 PM

My son will be 15 in June and starting high school this fall.  We've been giving him more "space" and decision making about certain things.  I've also been giving him more responsibilities (like preheating the oven, getting the laundry started) which he seems kind of eager to do.  He already has chores to do, but I've been thinking I need to branch out a bit and have him do more life skill things.

I'm actually feeling sad about high school.  I miss my little guy!

K1tten
by on Mar. 15, 2016 at 1:24 PM
Zion is only going on 8 and I'm finding out that he likes making his own choices now in many areas from clothing to hair styles and he's doing good but I also know that giving him a little leeway I still have to be protective momma bear. He thinks all these people online he plays online with are friends . I cannot and I mean cannot get him to understand 'stranger danger'. I think about it and get so upset that I cry. It only takes one time for things to go wrong. I'm so at a loss with this subject.
lucasmadre
by Group Owner on Mar. 19, 2016 at 9:05 AM

It is hard, you miss your little guy but every step they make toward independence is a joy...a real mix of emotions! Hold on tight, everyone says this can be a bumpy ride!! xo

Quoting jowen905:

My son will be 15 in June and starting high school this fall.  We've been giving him more "space" and decision making about certain things.  I've also been giving him more responsibilities (like preheating the oven, getting the laundry started) which he seems kind of eager to do.  He already has chores to do, but I've been thinking I need to branch out a bit and have him do more life skill things.

I'm actually feeling sad about high school.  I miss my little guy!


lucasmadre
by Group Owner on Mar. 19, 2016 at 9:10 AM

I second the fear of online "friends." My son is very interested in gaming and there are some people out there that are truly helping him learn more and are friendly to him but lately he closes the screen when I come up to ask him a question, not a good sign right? I know he wants his privacy and I wouldn't want him looking over my shoulder as I wrote an email but I am his parent and I do need to know he is having "safe" conversations. I think the best thing we can say is that some people don't have your best interest at heart. They way you can tell if some one is trying to use you is if they ask you for personal information or if they ask you if you can meet them. That is never ok and always a sign of danger. I hear you, I am scared about this too...

Quoting K1tten: Zion is only going on 8 and I'm finding out that he likes making his own choices now in many areas from clothing to hair styles and he's doing good but I also know that giving him a little leeway I still have to be protective momma bear. He thinks all these people online he plays online with are friends . I cannot and I mean cannot get him to understand 'stranger danger'. I think about it and get so upset that I cry. It only takes one time for things to go wrong. I'm so at a loss with this subject.


K1tten
by on Mar. 20, 2016 at 6:03 PM

Zion closes his laptop down when he's on youtube looking to make something for Minecraft and there are curse words in it and he doesn't want me to know because he knows I'll close the page. I set parental settings but he watched me once and goes in and undoes it then re does it I found out watching him quietly lol. Smart kids! I won't allow him to talk with anyone, he doesn;t klnow how to spell most of the words he wants to type so I am lucky there but he does know about voice and i refuse to give him a mic and he doesn't know about a webcam yet. Guess I am lucky there.

He can't handle riding a bus with all the kids, sensory overload but he feels he is missing out on it and i feel thats wanting to be like the others. But, with Zion if another kid told him to get off the bus and come to his house, Zion would go. He trusts everyone. My friend Denise (the neuro nurse) her son is 17 soon 18, graduated and still doesn't understand 'stranger danger'. He is another one that loses track of time, or has issues with it..anyways, he drives and she is so scared he's going to pick somebody up or somebody is going to walk out behind him from the local store and get in the car with him. He stays local, calls his mom when he gets to the store, calls before he leaves it. Denise is scared shitless for him but she knows she needs to give him that space to grow. Damn, it's so hard with so many crazy people out there in this world.

Quoting lucasmadre:

I second the fear of online "friends." My son is very interested in gaming and there are some people out there that are truly helping him learn more and are friendly to him but lately he closes the screen when I come up to ask him a question, not a good sign right? I know he wants his privacy and I wouldn't want him looking over my shoulder as I wrote an email but I am his parent and I do need to know he is having "safe" conversations. I think the best thing we can say is that some people don't have your best interest at heart. They way you can tell if some one is trying to use you is if they ask you for personal information or if they ask you if you can meet them. That is never ok and always a sign of danger. I hear you, I am scared about this too...

Quoting K1tten: Zion is only going on 8 and I'm finding out that he likes making his own choices now in many areas from clothing to hair styles and he's doing good but I also know that giving him a little leeway I still have to be protective momma bear. He thinks all these people online he plays online with are friends . I cannot and I mean cannot get him to understand 'stranger danger'. I think about it and get so upset that I cry. It only takes one time for things to go wrong. I'm so at a loss with this subject.


β€œLife isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.”
― Vivian Greene
gdiamante
by Member on Mar. 20, 2016 at 11:58 PM

This can be one of the hardest things, even without autism in the mix!

Over the past two years, I really pulled back on monitoring the homework and helping him with getting his writing done. There are times I'm tempted to do more, especially if he's missing assignments, but instead I just remind him of the consequences from school and the extra consequences from home. It's helped a bit.

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