Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Loss, I just can't stay.

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2018 at 5:20 PM
  • 7 Replies

I'm so broken.
2002 - Lost first pregnancy. Had an ultrasound and saw heartbeat at 6w. Went in for spotting had another ultrasound at 11w, baby hadn't grown since 6w and no heartbeat. Had d&c

2007 - Healthy baby boy at 39w

2010 - Healthy baby girl at 36w

2017 - Lost fourth pregnancy (35 years old, surprise baby) - HCG kept going up, Never found baby or yolk sac in gestational sac. 5 weeks of testing, had d&c

2018 - Last Thursday started bleeding. 7w5d. Went to ER. Had ultrasound, baby was there, heartrate 98. 
Went to ER friday after an OB apt to check progesterone levels (don't know results) - hemorrhaging... bleeding just wouldn't stop. Lost baby... Today STILL bleeding. Pain was unbearable this weekend. This baby was also a surprise, but certainly welcome. 


OB is sending me to a fetal endrochronologist. I'll be 36 in May and have Fibromyalgia. I'm so broken. Obviously the normal - What did I do wrong? Why is God punishing me? I'm so angry, so hurt. We certainly weren't expecting a third baby, my two are amazing and I'm so grateful for them. But now the thought is there, and the possibility that it may not happen just hurts. I DO want another, so badly. We even bought a co sleeper and a bouncer... now I see them every day and it just hurts.


Is there hope?

by on Mar. 19, 2018 at 5:20 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
tuckermum
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 5:45 PM

Mobile Photo

Oh my goodness. My heart hurts for you. It isn't fair. I am so sorry. You have done nothing wrong. I wish I knew comforting words to help what you are going through. I know that this pain will never truly go away. just know you are not alone and though you feel weak. You are strong. Hugs

This is a picture that my Dh painted me when we lost our first at 12weeks. Baby measured perfectly just no heartbeat.
mnmo3bb
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 8:28 PM

*hugs* sweetie, my heart aches for your loss! I do hope & pray you get a rainbow baby someday!!

mom2gabnchris
by Member on Mar. 19, 2018 at 8:35 PM
Oh no 😒😒 I am hurting for you. Hugs and prayers mama ❀️
Kjl620
by Member on Mar. 20, 2018 at 8:33 AM
I'm so sorry. Praying for you.
Momlife81
by Member on Mar. 20, 2018 at 7:51 PM
I am so sorry Sweetie my heart breaks for you , I know this feeling all too well. It’s still very fresh in my heart . I will always think of you and check on you through Facebook. Super big hugs and loves
hkmiller
by Member on Mar. 20, 2018 at 9:26 PM
Oh my gosh!! I’m so so sorry! My heart is broken for you πŸ’”πŸ’” Sending Love, hugs, and prayers!!
britishmummy
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 11:05 PM

I'm so sorry! I don't even know what to say as I'm sure my words wont help. You're a very strong woman!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)