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I am going to snap....

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2007 at 12:47 PM
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OK, these two are driving me nuckin futs!  The little one has autism and is very easily aggravated.  So why does Daniel feel the need to CONSTANTLY irritate and fight with him?  Yesterday Sky had his first full blown meltdown in like 5 years and it took me restraining him until he was no longer rigid and shaking, and then holding him for like two hours until he quit crying and twitching before he calmed down.  We almost had to take him to the ER to be sedated.  So I sit down with the older son and ask him why he felt it was necessary to keep after his brother when he KNOWS it is not allowed and that I don't let his older siblings or Sky pick on him?  His response...It is not my fault he is a sissy.  I didn't ask for a screwed up brother.  OMG, I don't hit my kids but I swear I almost popped him in the mouth.  Then this morning he is sweet as can be, helping clean the house, playing with Sky and reading him books, etc.  I swear I don't get these tween aged boys, and to be honest I am TERRIFIED about what comes next.  If it is this hard now, what will he be like as a teenager?  Sorry for venting...but I needed to get it all out.

 "Men are like fine wine.  They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like too have dinner with."   Also appearing daily at a Myspace near you!http://www.myspace.com/krazykessingers

by on Jul. 5, 2007 at 12:47 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Resse
by on Jul. 5, 2007 at 7:08 PM
Oh boy, my son seems to going through that phase he tends to pick with his younger siblings. he would start to fuss with them and get them aggravated and they come running to me about him. I told him to leave them alone, oh he does for awhile until here we go again. I can't wait until school starts back again.
alz2007
by on Jul. 5, 2007 at 7:27 PM
I am about ready to SNAP too! I am right there with you. It has actually been a good week cause his sister has been with her dad all week. He leaves in an hour to spend 2 weeks with his dad so it wil just be me and my daughter. That is good, We will get some GIRL time. Cant do much with a 4 year old girl, but we will find something fun to do. I know she is going to miss her brother, but we will make it.

He is constantly agrivating her and then wonders why he gets sent to his room and not her, drives me NUTS!! So sorry to say I have no advice either, I am going through it too. Guess we can all bitch and moan together.
thingz123
by on Jul. 6, 2007 at 11:56 AM
Jonah, my almost 11 year old, usually doesn't pick on my 9 year old, Caleb (who's high-functioning autistic, too), but constantly gets into it with my 4 year old, Elisha. Elisha plays the stereotypical bratty little brother to the hilt, so I am well aware of the fact that he is annoying. However, that doesn't give Jonah  the right to retaliate like he is fighting with someone his own size. I reprimand J, then he gets moody and sulky because I complained, blah, blah, blah. He will retaliate until E screams, "Let go of me!!" or some such thing. It's like living with a house of pro wrestlers. And Jonah is constantly correcting Elisha about every stupid thing he can think of, like a 4 year old is expected to know everything on earth already. He's like his father; he must be right, and will argue about anything and play semantic games (you say, "stop yelling" and he says, "I'm not yelling, I'm screaming"). And the refusing to talk when he is having one of his moods. . . If girls are more annoying than these guys, I'm glad God didn't give me any!

 Elisha has a really big mouth and sometimes Caleb just can't stand to hear it. Caleb will smack him if  he screams in his ear-he's hypersensitive to loud sounds. I almost figure he gets what he deserves! Yesterday, Elisha was screaming in the car like an idiot, and Caleb says, "Shut up, Elisha! Shut up, Elisha, please!!" It took all the strength I had not to laugh. I was happy that Caleb verbalized his displeasure rather than dealing with it physically.

Nothing but love and happiness! ! !

thingz123, aka Cheryl

RedDress
by New Member on Jul. 10, 2007 at 3:21 PM

I do not have any advise, but i can say I am a similar boat... The "tween" stages of if are designed to see just what we ( as moms) are made of.

Hang in there. If you wanna' vent feel free to send me a note.


This is my life. it is my one time to be me. I want to experience every good thing.
irishgal
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2007 at 2:36 PM
ARE YOU SURE YOU DO NOT HAVE MY SON?? HIS NAME IS EVEN DANIEL. I WISH I HAD THE ANSWERS BECAUSE I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH MY SON.
happymommarilyn
by on Sep. 15, 2007 at 9:34 AM
i have the same problem with the 3 boys the oldest is 11 and he thinks its his job or his purpose to annoy/bother/irritate/poke/hit/boss the other 2 around. the other 2 are 7 and 3. my oldest has adhd he has been in thearapy since grade 1 now in 6th i dont give him meds but i cant do it any longer i have made an appoit to see the doc who gives meds to calm him down i have paitence but after 6 hours straight of constant fighting i do lose it i start yelling at him at the top of my lungs and put him to bed by 8pm if i dont i would hit him i feel you and you have an autistic child which doesnt help is your child in thearapy so he can learn not to bother and resent the autistic child maybe he thinks he deserves more attention than the autistic child my middle child will cry over anything like the wind blowing a way he doesnt like if he drops his food or anything he is super sensitive and was thought to have autism i never tested him though so my oldest will say things like i do it cuz he is a baby and cries too much he thinks he is making him tough  Good Luck

thingz123
by on Sep. 15, 2007 at 11:57 AM
I 'm always saying that I think Jonah will be in therapy someday, because he resents the fact that we expect more out of him than we do Caleb, our autistic son. He doesn't resent Caleb, but he resents that Caleb isn't constantly held to be personally  responsible and do his homework w/o being told; we expect these things out of  J. Caleb wouldn't help clean up the house or do homework on his own-if we weren't urging him, he wouldn't do these things at all. We just assume Jonah will do this stuff by himself; when he doesn't, we get on him about it. J also knows that Elisha (the 4 year old) will be allowed more leeway about being responsible and helping clean the house and we don't expect him to do homework w/o being told either (yes, he DOES have homework). I've even said to J., "You're not autistic and you're not a preschooler, so what's your problem?" when he doesn't do what he is supposed to do by himself. The other 2 kids do demand a lot more energy and attention just to make sure they do the things they need to do. I know that their behavior sometimes drives Jonah clean up the wall; I try to be sympathetic, but when he cops that whole Tween attitude or snarks because he doesn't have money to buy something game-related, I do get annoyed with him. So, yes, he probably will be getting therapy somewhere down the line! We do praise him for all his academic achievements, and he and I take TaeKwonDo together, so we do spend quality time doing something away from his brothers. We always try to hit every show he is in at school, and of course, his TKD tournaments (but I'm usually at these anyway, either competing myself or helping with scoring).  He also has more game equipment and games than any other kid in our house. Jonah isn't Cinderfella, although sometimes I'm sure he paints himself out to be!

Cheryl
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