Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Strict or Lenient

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2010 at 5:06 PM
  • 58 Replies
  • 25956 Total Views
1 mom liked this

I figured someone would jump in and start a thread here. But it looks like I'm going to have to get us started. So for the first debate, should parents pick their battles or be lenient on the little things, or should parents be strict? Do you think the little things are what causes kids to misbehave the most?

by on Jun. 29, 2010 at 5:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
new_mom808
by Senior Member on Jun. 29, 2010 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 No, I'm a stricter type. I do what I can to judge the heart, or the motivation behind the action, but I dont let much slide. I think the little things are just another way of pushing to find where the bounderies are. And they are right where I said they would be every time. So a little attitude or a big attitude are both unaccaptable.
BUT...... or instance I tell DS " no put that down right now and come here" (22 months) instead of doing exactly what I asked him to do, he turns around and tries to put it back where it came from.... I'm gonna let that go. He was trying to do the right thing. However if he response is to look at it and at me and ponder his choices for a minute, he's in trouble. His choices are obedience or punishment. That's it. IMO delayed obedience is disobedience.

Susanmomof
by Owner on Jun. 30, 2010 at 3:58 AM
2 moms liked this

 I too am the stricter type.

Quoting new_mom808:

 No, I'm a stricter type. I do what I can to judge the heart, or the motivation behind the action, but I dont let much slide. I think the little things are just another way of pushing to find where the bounderies are. And they are right where I said they would be every time. So a little attitude or a big attitude are both unaccaptable.
BUT...... or instance I tell DS " no put that down right now and come here" (22 months) instead of doing exactly what I asked him to do, he turns around and tries to put it back where it came from.... I'm gonna let that go. He was trying to do the right thing. However if he response is to look at it and at me and ponder his choices for a minute, he's in trouble. His choices are obedience or punishment. That's it. IMO delayed obedience is disobedience.

 

new_mom808
by Senior Member on Jun. 30, 2010 at 12:00 PM

 Thanks Susan!!
Really 55 views and no one else wants to weigh in here? LOL.

Homealonex2
by on Jun. 30, 2010 at 12:42 PM

 I choose to pick my battles at times.  My ds has Sensory Issues with a speech delay and communication disorder.  Things at my house change daily with him so I have to be careful when deciding if it's a behavioral issues or a sensory issue.  With my dd she is 9 her attitude is one of those things that it depends if she being disrespectful or just letting us know her opinion.  I want her to have an opinion I want her to be able to express it but, she must be respectful about it.  If I know that she is angry and she starts with the disrespect then I will let her know that I it would be in her best interest to wait to calm down before she gives her opinion.  Then if she chooses not to wait then she has a problem.  I try to use spanking as a last resort with both of them. 

traditionalmom
by on Jun. 30, 2010 at 11:39 PM
2 moms liked this

I know I"m the stricter type.  Hard to answer, without specifics, but in general I don't let much slide.  I'll listen to their side of things, see what the circumstances are, but if it was deliberate disobedience, or attitude, etc, oh yes, that is getting them in trouble, every time.  I think letting the little things go is a very slippery slope.

Angie

SuzieQ632
by on Jul. 1, 2010 at 11:55 AM

I think it depends on the situation.  You should always be strict on your core values that you have placed in your home.  But maybe during days your or our lo's are tired or sick you let go of some of the rules, like maybe cleaning up before bed or making your bed before you get to play. 

potterpeaches
by on Jul. 1, 2010 at 11:55 AM

I would say that I pick my battles with certain types of behavior. For example, I might ignore something or just talk about it rather than punishing, but there are some behaviors that I'm always strict about. If a little thing looks like it has the potential to turn into something bigger down the road then I'll be strict to stop it getting that far.

pamplus4
by Member on Jul. 3, 2010 at 9:38 AM
2 moms liked this

I am a stricter type as far as discipline is concerned, having learned the hard way about what happens when you "sometimes" let things slide because then they can escalate

tlgifford
by on Jul. 6, 2010 at 10:55 PM

i am the stricter type...i let some things slide but very rarely...i think the more we let slide, the more the child will test the boundaries

sarah_baines
by on Jul. 7, 2010 at 1:19 AM
5 moms liked this

well it has to be constant really I think. My mum would give us a warning smack over panties or pants... if we pushed our luck after that then it was otk bare. So a little spank on my bottom told me i was stepping out of line and i know what would come next. Of course there was times when I jumped well over the line without a warning smack.. Then am immidiate and full on spanking was given. So little things got little smacks big things got well a very sore bottom. That is how i do it now more or less. It worked for me

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)