I figured someone would jump in and start a thread here. But it looks like I'm going to have to get us started. So for the first debate, should parents pick their battles or be lenient on the little things, or should parents be strict? Do you think the little things are what causes kids to misbehave the most?
Yes! I wasn't so strict with my 10yr old when she was younger so It is harder to deal wt her now. If you let them get way with little things, the little things turn into bigger things. Lol "trust me" You know... When I say little things I mean like when you tell them to do something, or correct them and they mumble something under their breath. Or if your riding down the road and their kicking the seat and you say stop, and they give you three extra kicks after you say stop. Lol Those little things should be corrected right away in my opinion.
I usually pick my battles because some things you can talk to your children about and then other things need other forms of discipline to stop the behavior before it becomes harmful to them or others.
Quoting potterpeaches:I would say that I pick my battles with certain types of behavior. For example, I might ignore something or just talk about it rather than punishing, but there are some behaviors that I'm always strict about. If a little thing looks like it has the potential to turn into something bigger down the road then I'll be strict to stop it getting that far.
I'm 'pick your battles' on certain things and 'strict' on others. Like a PP said, I don't waiver on the core issues, hitting, sassing, ignoring, etc. But other things I can be flexible on based on current conditions. If' it's a lazy day / play time, then we can do things in lazy day time, if we're leaving for school, work, getting in bed etc. then a quick pace is called for. I can even be flexible on whining or sulking to a point - such as when they're sick or overly tired, I won't let it go, I just wont come down as hard.
I'm more 'pick your battles', Hubby is Mr. Consistency (aka strict), and his word is usually the final one. I do think that if sometimes things get them in trouble, and sometimes they don't, kids may just learn that it's worth a gamble, but I also believe also in showing mercy if the kid is tired, having a rough day, forgetting a rule when they really don't mean to, etc.
I Consider my self a strict mom but I'm also a fair mom I'm vary strict on my core personal values and family values morals and respect for yourself and others & attitudes . I try to be like my parents were always kept the lines of communication open with me and let me express my feelings as long as i did it with respect. but defiance lieing being disrespectful ect that stuff i nick in the butt so to speak..
Hey all,
Proud member here of the strict mama club, the only real battle we picked was the battle to raise decent kids in an indecent world, and that is the bottom line for us, always has been, always will be. Being strict to us is a way of life, preparing a child for what lies ahead to govern their own lives once they leave the nest and fly, and parents only get one shot to do that right.
Are we strict across the board? Have to say yes, for the basic rules of our home around worship, respect, chores, and especially school. To us, they are all equal tools that a child needs to be successful as an adult, and for us, being strict on all of them is just plain obvious.
Hubby and I are products of very strict homes, we are very proud of that, and we are passing on our lessons learned to our own kids, and you know what? We could not be more blessed with the four we have.
Blessings!
Are time outs ineffective?
- SalemWitchChild
on Jun. 29, 2010 at 5:06 PM