When my DD was younger (Under 2) time outs were our only recorse other than taking toys away. It basically constituted as nap time for her. She was always good until she needed a nap. But if you took her into her room and said nap time she's scream her head off. So time out was a way to get her to sleep; otherwise totally ineffective for us!
Do/did they work for your children?
A little bit, but not consistently. Usually, every third time or so one of my girls needed a time out, it would turn into a battle that would eventually end with a spanking and a time out. Otherwise, I found, for my girls, it tended to end a behavior for the moment, but to have little if any long term effect. Re-enforcing time out with spanking (As in, first time you do it, it's a warning, second time a time out, third time a spanking.) seemed to make the time outs themselves work better, if that makes sense.
time outs used to work when our daughter was younger, now they only work if shes in time out a long time. shes 8 so they say only 8 minutes, thats way to short for her, if we make it 20-30 minutes then it seems to get the point across that what she did was wrong, and then she acts better. For our daughter the punishment has to be way worse than the crime. we do progressive punishment, 1st time warning, 2nd time out, 3rd time grounded, again and grounded longer. she always pushes it till shes in so much trouble we need to punisher her/ground her for a whole week now. it sucks and i wish she'd just get the idea with a little punishment than pushing it like she does, but thats her. every kid is different. :)
DS gets a "time out" occasionally, but it's not really treated as a punishment so much. We view it more as training him and giving him tools. If he cannot get control of himself, either after a spanking or otherwise, he has to sit on the couch until he feeels better and can come apologize and be joyful. There is no set time, he is allowed to get down when he feels more calm. I think that even as adults we need this self imposed, time out. Sometimes I just have to sit by myself for a few minutes, or go for a walk so that I dont take my bad mood out on my family, and we are teaching DS to do the same. It's okay to be sad, or mad, but it's not okay to take it out on the familly.
For my oldest daughter time out could be effective method. She would remain in her spot for 3 or 4 minutes and then often came out with improved behavior. With my younger daughter I found them futal. She wouldn't sit still or after her time out she would repeat the same misbehavior. Spankings have been the main method of discipline for her. I think parents need to be consistant with any type of discipline whether it be time outs or spanking, otherwise nothing is going to work!
I have found that time outs are very effective with my teens.
When the kids were younger they did't work so well.
My kids are 12 (girl) and just 15 (boy). A time out in our house means standing against the wall with their nose touching the wall and their hands folded across their backs, for 1 minute per year old they are.
If there is ANY HINT AT ALL of a lack of cooperation they will get a good spanking, no ifs, ands, or buts. Because they know what will happen, there is almost never any argument.
I think they work because a spanking is always the outcome if they don't fully cooperate. Without that I doubt they would work.
Strict or Lenient
- SalemWitchChild
on Aug. 1, 2010 at 11:10 PM