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Is discipline the true deciding factor?

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2010 at 3:38 PM
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If you parent all of your children the same way, same expectations and consequences, how is it possible for them to turn out so differently?  Did you really not parent them the same?  I still only have the one, but we are trying for number two, and I was just talking with a parent about how their latest little one is a tantrum thrower that she can't stop.  She said everything that worked for her first two didn't for this one.  So what's the deal?  Is it all about discipline or are there are environmental factors at work?

by on Sep. 18, 2010 at 3:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SalemWitchChild
by Group Head Admin on Sep. 18, 2010 at 4:03 PM

Its also in how they react to your methods. Every child is different so that is why parents need to tailor their discipline methods to the childs personality. There is no x formula that will work the same for every child because everyone is an individual. Where one learns another will rebel. It all has to do with personality.

strictmom_anna
by on Nov. 10, 2010 at 10:01 PM

children are people and people are all different. despite the fact that we try and parent them all the same, each child has different experiences.

PosinourHarmony
by on Nov. 11, 2010 at 3:41 AM


Quoting SalemWitchChild:

Its also in how they react to your methods. Every child is different so that is why parents need to tailor their discipline methods to the childs personality. There is no x formula that will work the same for every child because everyone is an individual. Where one learns another will rebel. It all has to do with personality.


I agree 100%

Proud Mommy

Iamasinglemom99
by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 1:36 AM

I would say that love is the deciding factor along with time spent with the child. I think that those of us who are honest with outselves know that as much as we try its hard to split our time when we have many kids especially when the age gaps are small. I think that time spent and love lavished on each child makes a huge difference even more then discipline those. Way more then discipline does IMO.

V.Dubbya
by on Dec. 2, 2010 at 6:16 AM
Every child is different with their own encoded personality that will dictate who they are and how they re/act. My oldest is definately motivated to avoid spankings and a quick reminder of what's in store if she continues x usually works promptly. My youngest is a little toughie and anything you do to her physically just strengthens her resolve. There could be environmental factors at play but for the most part they just are who they are naturally.
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ILuvMyBubbers
by on Dec. 9, 2011 at 11:39 PM
I dont agree on spanking personally, my parents never spanked me but once or twice mostly threatining me with it worked. I think if dicipline "NO" is introduced soon enough and DON'T fall back on that word, no freebees, then the child will listen if they know the parent means what they say. When my parents told me "NO" I always said "okay" and I turned out alright :)
Susanmomof
by Owner on Dec. 10, 2011 at 5:23 AM
2 moms liked this

 First of all Welcome to the group glad to have you.

 They are all different and have their own traits and personalities. I never compare one against the other. I have positive expectations with  them until proven other wise.They  know right from wrong and what those expectations are. Consistency is the key as most of us here know.

 I do think that some parents try to be their child's best friend instead of being a parent first  but that is a whole different topic for some other time, Some once said that "the real definition of character is how you act when no one is watching". With me that  is how I expect my kids to act when I'm not around them.

 

 

Karla67
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:39 PM

I parented the same for my 2 oldest that are 3 years apart.  But as they got older, I needed to adjust my parenting approach.  They are not 17 and 14 and are very different and need different parenting approaches

hellohello2
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 1:47 PM

I believe disapline is a main factor yes but regarudless everyone has there own personality so it has to be alittle of both!

JanetMonroe1991
by Member on Oct. 20, 2012 at 10:03 AM

Its a mix of both. I only have one child but I am very involved with my nephew. Even though both boys are the same age they are both totally different and they react to things differently. Buying gifts for them is a perfect example, what they like is totally far apart for the most part other then the standard things that most 7 year old boys like. 

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