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BF issues-advice/opinions please?-Sorry so long.

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2011 at 6:18 PM
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Ok this is a long story. My oldest son, who will be 5 in December, is from a previous relationship. His BD/BF and I were younger when we got pregnant. We were 16. When I thought I was pregnant (it was too soon to tell), the test came back negative. It was on a Thursday by Monday he broke up with me. Then he was hateful to me. Two or three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. He didn't believe me. I showed him the test and the paper from the pregnancy resource center. So we got back together. About 3 weeks from my son's scheduled c-section, he decided to go to a friends after work and get drunk and high. Then called his mom to come and get him. So at midnight, his mom calls me and tells me what happened. I had to wake my dad up and tell him. He told us we couldnt stay with each other anymore. 2 days before my son was born, he broke up with me. He ended up cheating on me after my dad told us we could not stay with each other. Then the day my son came home, which was new years eve...he didnt even want to stay with our son. He said he wanted to go to a "friend's" house. Well the next day I seen that she texted him. A couple of days later I found her on FB and she had a pic of her and him together. This was 4 days after my son was born. I was depressed and mad. He dated her for 3 years then she cheated on him (go karma! lol) during those 3 years, he joined the army. Before then he told me that they would take my son to her friend's house and get tore up(drunk) after the kids went to bed. Which made me mad because my son was only like 1.5 years old. Anything could of happened, he could have woke up crying and they were passed out. So I told him I didnt want him taking him anywhere. Oh and he also would take him to her mom's and leave him to go out. Well after he joined the army, he started not seeing our son and talking. He would call his gf, but not his son. He was old enough to at least say hey I love you what you doing, etc. He would go like 2 months and wouldnt call or text. He only and still only sees him like once a year(which I know the army is weird with leave). He had a week off just this past month and didnt come home. Well he is stationed in Washington and we live in GA. He is suppose to be getting out of the Army in May. Yesterday he texted wanting to see if after he comes home for Christmas if he could take him back to Washington for a week. My son is in school, he turned 5 in December. He has only seen his father like 3 times in the last 3 years. And hasn't talked to him much. He knows who he is though. But sees my Dh(who has been in his life since he was 9 months old as his "daddy" figure). BD/BF said he wants to go to school there in Washington, but again said he wants to get out of the Army so he can see his son more. I was like that doesn't make sense. He said he wants to follow his dream. I was like well when you have kids sometimes you have to alter it. He wants to be a history teacher. They have a university here for that. But no he wants all the way across the US. I dont like airplanes either. I just want to see if people understand where Im coming from. I dont want him going. No bashing. Ill update for opinions!

**He finally replied to my text asking if he wanted to see his son then why would he go to school over there...his reply was," Because the school here offers what I want. So pretty much if I stay and go to school here then I have to stay goodbye to my son and only see him when I come to GA?" I just said, "You know what? I am not saying anything." I didn't want to say anything for him to use in court if he did take me. But like 4 months ago he said he didnt want to go to court because it is too expensive and too much trouble.

by on Sep. 12, 2011 at 6:18 PM
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Replies (1-3):
k_4beautifulg
by New Member on Mar. 18, 2012 at 8:56 PM

I would NOT let him go across the country to stay w/him even if it was only for a week. He may know of him but he isn't attached to him and doesn't know him well enough for him to be okay.  I think most people would agree.  If he visits your state he can see him and get used to him again but I would NOT send him across the country at his age.  You would have to go w/him and I'm sure you don't want to deal w/that....I know I wouldn't. lol ;)  He is just gonna have to suck it up and realize that if he goes to school out there then HE will have to make the effort and come see his son until he gets older and has a more stable relationship w/him.  If he chooses not to do that then it is his loss.  At least your son has a good man in his life and stuff.  That is just my opinion.  ;) Good luck.  

dbush0584
by New Member on Jun. 8, 2012 at 11:19 PM
No way. Youre right.
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LeiYingLo
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 11:23 PM

Fuk him! yu take child support n fuk him in ass. yu son hav daddi al readi. no need tu be sperm ti be daddi. daddi is in heart n action, he stu pid. yu tell him he hav daddi al ready. he no need him in life, yu get child suport. okai. okai.

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