Hi everyone! I am a 28 year old mom of 3. (4, 2 and 5 months). Things are completely crazy- all the time- and I'm exhausted but I am in heaven every day with my kids. I seriously feel this desire in me to have a large family. I came from a family of 5- which never seemed big to me- it always felt "normal." So when I told people I was preggo with #3, and got some very negative reactions, I felt really discouraged. I know its nobody's business but my husband and I's how many children we have. But why is there this stigma- that if you have more than 2 children, you're this crazy woman??? I don't get it...
Do any of you guys get negative comments for wanting (or having) large families??? How do you handle it? It really hurts my feelings when people make comments about how close in age my kids are (they're all 2 years apart) and how full my hands are. Yes, my hands are full. Yes, I am busy 24/7... but this is IT! This is what I want! Why don't people respect that?
Sorry for venting... I'm just very sensitive to what people think.
Another question I have, is about money... my husband is an accountant and I'm a photographer (both college grads) but WOW kids are expensive! haha :) I'm writing this on Christmas eve, looking at this giant pile of presents under the tree, thinking how in the world could we afford to add another to the bunch??? Is this a worry you girls have as well? Any tips?
Sorry for the super long post! It's just been weighing heavily on me lately... ;) I'd love any support. Thanks!
I know how you feel..its hard when people are so rude about what you want for your own family. We are not accepted by my husband's family because we have "too many kids" . We have 5 and they the first 3 are also 2 yrs apart. The last 2 are 3 yrs. apart. I really chose to not let it get to me.. because I know its right for us. I love my big family.. and like you said, it does not seem "big" to me! I wouldn't have it any other way.! Each to their own.. I just wish people could keep their opinions to themselves!!
As far as money goes- we do live by a tight budget and keep track of everything! I stay at home, so we give up a lot for me to be able to be home with the kids. But we chose our family over owning everything we'd ever want! For Christmas for example, I have a certain amount I spend on each and keep to that. It all works out somehow!! :) :) Go with your heart & what feels right for your family!
I already know I will get flack from my family. I get the lecture all the time that its irresponsible to have more than two.
As far as christmas goes some parents choose to keep it small. Ya know. Might not be a bad idea since most kids get spoiled by family as well. Lol.
We try to get just a couple of presents per each person and that includes something useful like this year it was towels. We find the present opening marathon takes long enough without tons of presents each.
We have 12 kids with #13 on the way. I hear comments daily about our family size but I just don't let it get to me. Most of my kids are almost 2 yrs. apart and some are closer than that.
Over the years we have changed how we do Christmas but it isn't because of money but because of having older children and very young children. We live on a tight budget but my kids have everything they need. I think we do pretty good. I'm a SAHM.
I know this is ALONG time since you posted originally. I have 3 also. So obiviously I don't think it's crazy to have 3. I have been very happy with our 3 . I dont think there is a stigma in having 3 kids. I have heard it with more though. One of my neighbors, I try to avoid, he thinks all the problems in the world are because of over population. He really comes off as crazy!!! Seriously! he wasn't meaning me i told think just people in general.
I think people just comment on the ages being soo close because they want to comment & just think it's the thing to say. People do ALWAYs say I have my hands full when actually I think i handle my brood quite well, though we have our moments!
A man in Wal-Mart while my 5 yr old was getting milk out of the cooler & bringing it to me said to me "looks like you have your hands full." i am used to it so i just nodded. My 5 yr old then said, " mommy, I don't know what that guy was talking about, I am the one w/ my hands full with this heavy milk. You don't have anything in your hands!" It was so cute, I had to laugh!!
try not to worry about what other think.
THe money question, I am a stay at home mom & I homeschool. My husband is a project manager to a security company. He works long hours--leaves at 4:30 or 5am then returns if we are lucky at 7pm. Last week it was closer to 8:30-9pm. He has alot of work. We are tight with money but get things paid & everyone has what they need. We have an overabundance of toys & i still get to take the kids places for things to do. We just watch our money--there isn't loads of it, he makes good money but will 3 kids it disappears quickly. We have a Xmas club that pays for Xmas & to be honest the kids have too many toys as it is!! So, even with more kids, we don't need to buy more toys! I reuse the clothes as we can then just add some when needed.
I am expecting a 4th much to our surprise. We are nervous about it but it will work moneywise.Sleeping is the thing I am most concerned with right now. I would LOVE it if my daughters bedroom was larger it would solve the problems. It is not however not.
Hi. I am a mom of 4: ages 14, 8 and twin 2 year olds. I don't think you are crazy for having three kids. I am very lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom, but we do budget and I have had a written monthly budget for 15 years (I am the one who keeps track of it). For Christmas, I literally save every month. In my budget I have a line item for Christmas. Some months I would love to use that money for other things but I always remind myself that when December comes how thankful I am that I have that money in the bank specifically for Christmas. I also have a Christmas budget that includes everything from family presents to the tree to Santa pictures to stamps for the cards. One good thing is that a lot of the presents your 4 year old gets now will be played with later by your 2 year old and 5 month old.
My husband gets more comments than I do about our four kids. He's asked whether they are all with one wife or if he is on his second wife because of such a wide age gap (we've been happily married for 17 years and he's a great guy and for both of us, it's our first and only marriage). People are sometimes nosy and I remind myself that I am fortunate to have four healthy kids and that I have a great life. I think people who seem disrespectful are sometimes either wishing they could have had more children or are trying to fill some hole in their lives by complaining about other people. I guess.
Just enjoy your three.
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- ashlad
on Dec. 25, 2011 at 12:11 AM