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Problems with chores! Was I right????????????

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:04 PM
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Okay, everynight after dinner, the kids clean the kitchen. This excludes William(in college) & Molly(she's 4). Well the other day my 12 yr.old asked why they had to clean up. They did not make the mess so why is it their job. I replied, Your stepfather works, I cook it & you eat it.Well tonight she had 2 granola bars for dinner. When everyone else was done I called them all back downstairs to clean the kitchen. Well she comes & says well I didnt eat dinner so I don't have to clean up right? I told her yes she still had to help. She immediatly freaks out saying well its not fair. you said this & that & blahh blahh. Was I right for expecting her to still clean it even though I said she didn't have to???

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:04 PM
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by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:35 PM

Absolutely.  She's trying to get over on you.  We tell our kids they have to help around the house for two very important reasons 1. Because they are a member of this household and they will help out when they are asked and 2. Because one day they will have their own house to clean and they need to learn how to take care of it, and learning starts now.  My oldest 2 sk's are 14 and 12 and man, I had one HELL of a time getting them into a chore routine!! They have been with me 3 years now.  Do they still hate doing chores?  Yes.  But do they do them?  Yes.  Because they have no choice. 
It's important-imo- that a child learns responsibility in the home they grow up in before they get out into the real world.  They'll still have a lot of obstacles to overcome once they do, but the more they have already learned, the better they will adjust to life on their own.  And one day, far far away, they'll thank us for teaching them. :)

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:21 PM

I think you did the right thing.  My kids are still young, the oldest is 4, baby 7 months...but I tell my 2, 3 and 4 year old that they are part of our family and families help each other out, that's why they need to help do their "chores" (which isn't really hard, pick up trash off the floor or set the table with their plastic dishes).  So, all that said to say I would of done and will do the same thing when my kids are older!   I think everyone should work together, whether is was all your mess or not, it's part of having a big family!

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 9:48 PM

Never doubt yourself.  You are teaching your children life skills.  On the days you get to busy and skip a meal..or are sick .  Do we has mom's get that break of Not cleaning up..I think not.  I have 4 kids 17,16, 4(in 2 months) & 2yrs next month.  All of my children have chores.  Yes, even the 2 yr old must help with 10 second clean ups...Heck if not I would be bent over all day long picking up toys. 

They whine now.  But when they are saving money from not having to hire a cleaning lady in the future...They will thank you

by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 9:45 AM

Yes you were right on with that one!

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 4:40 PM

I would have said:

"Well i diddnt eat those granola bars but i still went to work to make the check to buy them for you"

Shes being a teenager (or thinks shes a teenager lol) and trying to be smarty pants.  Like the PP said she is just trying to pull one over on you. She knew good and well she was supposed to help clean up and was trying to back you into a corner, if she really thought that the fair thing would be to not clean up if she diddnt eat then she would have said something before dinner "Hey mom, if i only eat granola bars for dinner i dont have to clean up, right?"  She thought if she got you after the fact then there would be nothing you could do about it... WRONG!   Sounds like you handled it very well.    If you start giving in to that stuff your just inviting all sorts of trouble.

 Lauren & Cara MOMS of SIX great kids!!! 

by on Feb. 7, 2009 at 7:35 PM


I think maybe someone was just testing you, but its only fair that all the kids pitch in when its possible, where would that leave you if they didn't you would be the one stuck doing EVERYTHING on your own thats just not fair.

Besides its our job to teach our kids to be able to take care of themselves.

by on Feb. 22, 2009 at 6:51 PM

you were in the right.

when my kids say stuff about not making the mess,  I remind them I wash cloths that I don't wear, I cook food I don't eat.  I point out I do a lot for them.  we also tell the kids that families do things to help the family.  my oldest use to claim that her doing chores was us using her for slave labor.  she's just testing the limits.  good for you for standing your ground.

by on Feb. 25, 2009 at 2:59 PM
When my parents had 5 teenage girls at home, we always fought over chores, especially since sometimes we would come home from school or work and be annoyed that we had to do the dishes from the dinner we didn't attend. My mom made a rotating chart so that one week I would load and unload the dishwasher when it needed it, then the next week my sister would do that and I would vacuum the floors every day. Some chore rotations were easier than others, but it helped to know that it was only for that week, and then the next week would be something different. Now we're all grown up and live on our own, and are just great at keeping our homes clean. Beyond our weekly rotation, we were expected to do our own laundry and keep our rooms clean (luckily we each had our own rooms so that wasn't too hard). With the rotation, it never seemed like one of us had more chores and we couldn't complain that it wasn't fair. It worked really well for us.
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