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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was set on a natural birth. No pain killers, no IVs, being able to move and drink, absolutely no episiotomy, no Csection unless it's a medical emergency, waiting to cut the cord, being able to spend at least an hour with my baby and breastfeed before she is taken to be weighed and measured. There are no midwives in my area. The closest midwife is 45 minutes away, and she still births in a small hospital. The closest midwife group that has their own birthing center is an hour and 45 minutes away. I have not talked to my doctor about my birth plan yet, but when I preregistered for the hospital here a few days ago I asked them a few questions. No drinking or eating allowed at all. Only ice chips. I will be required to have an IV, if I refuse, then they will not treat me, which I know is true, I refused one for an ER visit in September when I went for severe abdominal pain and they sent me home and told me there was nothing they could do. They don't have birthing tubs. My options at this hospital are basically laying in a bed with an IV, being blown up like a balloon because they won't let me drink water. There are no hospitals within driving distancein active labor that will accomidate me. If one exists in this state at all.

My fiance doesn't understand my reasons for wanting a natural birth with no pain killers. He said he would want everything they could give him if he was giving birth. I really think he is going to have a major problem seeing me in pain. He freaks out now if I have any discomfort. He keeps telling me that I'm just being hormonal and people give birth like that in that hospital every day. That's not a comforting thought to me. My friends and family keep telling me I won't be able to handle it, that I will want the drugs. Everyone is trying to push the way they gave birth on me. I keep watching shows on natural births, half the time the woman gives birth, and everything is fine, the other half give up and end up getting the epidural. I always thought I had a high pain tolerance, but now I'm wondering if this is something I can handle. What if I can't? I'm going to hear "I told you so" for a year or more. I really want to breastfeed, but my nipples have been pierced twice and there is quite a lot of scar tissue, so I won't know if I actually can breastfeed until the day comes. I feel like I spent so much time making these plans, and now they're unraveling before I even get there.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 11:09 AM
Replies (11-19):
Daeraelle
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 12:55 PM

I hope I go into labor while he's at work so he can't force me to go to the hospital right away.

doulala
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 12:56 PM

He needs to become better informed...

Ask him if he wants what is best for his baby.
How will he know what is best??

Daeraelle
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 1:01 PM

He was just raised so differently from me. He formula fed, so in the beginning he didn't care about me wanting to breastfeed until I made him read some information on it. I talked him out of the circumcision if it would have been a boy the same way. This is just something that's harder to overcome with him. He's amazing, I'm not working and I've been so fatigued I stay in bed most of the day. I still have bad cramps when I'm up for long periods of time, I've been having them since I got pregnant, and never got an explaination as to why I feel like I'm starting a terrible period every day. He cooks, cleans, works, takes care of me, waits on me when I'm not feeling well. He's never been able to stand seeing me uncomfortable. He doesn't like seeing me get my blood drawn, or when I had a catheter put in. I made him watch a bunch of videos and shows on natural births, and I think I scared him. He doesn't want to see me like that.

doulala
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 1:04 PM

Did you show him this video?

 

 

 

So he doesn't understand that we can work for happier, healthier, safer births ---it is worth it!

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Orgasmic Birth | Orgasmic Birth

 

 

 

peanut06
by on Oct. 23, 2010 at 2:07 PM

As to the nipples, I can speak from experience.  I've had mine done twice, with the super unsexy scars, and I successfully breastfed dd till she was 16 months old and am hoping to breastfeed ds till he self-weans (he's almost 3 months old and I'm expecting 3 years or more).

As to drug-free birthing, almost every woman CAN do it.  I started by calling those uncomfortable feelings "discomfort" or "pressure."  Change your mind kind of thing.  Labor is natural, so it shouldn't hurt.  Hurting is what happens when you stub your toe hard enough to break it--that is unnatural and should hurt LOL  Read up on hypnobirthing--check your library for Hypnobirthing:  The Mongan Method (or ebay, amazon...).  I loved it!  It helped me to have my first drug-free birth (dc#3) and the nurses kept saying how easy it looked. 

Labor is your muscles working the way they were intended to; FTP (Fear of pain causes you to Tense up and be in Pain) is the same letters used to push c-sections (Failure To Progress).  Think about when you're having a bowel movement; if you fight it, it hurts and might not even happen that sitting.  If you let it happen and relax, everything comes out okay LOL

Talk to your doctor about your desires--they might be supportive.  (My OB has the award for being the best obstetric surgeon in our area two years in a row, but has the lowest c-section rate, way below national average.  She is excited any time a patient wants to do it naturally!)  It's great that your SO doesn't like to see you in pain.  Talk to him about your desires, too.  Explain that you really need him to be supportive.  Since you convinced him about circumcision, getting him on board for natural birthing should happen, too.

As to paying for a doula, talk to some and see if they will work with you on payments.  Talk to the midwife at the 45-min away hospital, too.

Good luck and wishing you a safe delivery on baby's terms!
Clara

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Happy milk-maker to an intact, sling-riding baby boy and his two older sisters!

Mrs.Moha
by on Oct. 24, 2010 at 10:00 AM

I was anti the IV thing, but 
I needed antibiotics for Group B Strep  so they gave me those and left in a heplock or whatever it's called.  It's no big deal I think.  Also, our hospital said no food (but hard candy was okay!) but when I was there m y midwife actually had meals ordered for me:)  I didn't know she did that until I had the baby really fast and the nurse said my tray was still up there.  I thought all along that we couldn't have any food - in fact it only applied to OB patients.  I was a midwife patient.  SO that worked out!  

Luckily I was there between 0600 and 1800- they only have CNMs there during the day!  Which is ridiculous.  They said they were short staffed.  Gladly my baby came fast, in active labor for 2.5 - 3 hours. 

Pandapanda
by on Oct. 24, 2010 at 7:51 PM
I just wanted to say that I completely understand the fear of not knowing when to go to your birthing location. From the start of my labor with my first, my son, my contractions were 1:30-3:20 minutes long and 2-12 minutes apart. I labored for 16 hours.

Don't focus on a certain time on contractions. Listen to your body. When the intensity feels like it's nearly too much to bear, it's time to go. I gave birth in a hospital birthing center, a wonderful natural vaginal delivery with little to no pain.

You CAN do it. You will find a way!
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Ati_13
by on Oct. 24, 2010 at 9:08 PM

Just FYI, there are other ways to deal with being GBS positive than just the antibiotics during labor, and while the abx DO decrease the number of newborn GBS infections, it does NOT decrease the number of deaths.

Also, some providers for subsequent births just assume that you are always GBS positive once you have been positive in a previous pregnancy, so insist on being tested (or refuse the test and antibiotics all together), do your reasearch, and try to get rid of it naturally before going the abx route, is my advice.   Better a hibiclens and garlic treatment than antibiotics that are contributing to things like MRSA.

Quoting Mrs.Moha:

I was anti the IV thing, but 
I needed antibiotics for Group B Strep  so they gave me those and left in a heplock or whatever it's called.  It's no big deal I think.  Also, our hospital said no food (but hard candy was okay!) but when I was there m y midwife actually had meals ordered for me:)  I didn't know she did that until I had the baby really fast and the nurse said my tray was still up there.  I thought all along that we couldn't have any food - in fact it only applied to OB patients.  I was a midwife patient.  SO that worked out!  

Luckily I was there between 0600 and 1800- they only have CNMs there during the day!  Which is ridiculous.  They said they were short staffed.  Gladly my baby came fast, in active labor for 2.5 - 3 hours. 

 

Fightclmembr
by on Oct. 25, 2010 at 7:32 AM
I see you are in Georgia...there are plenty of doulas around. You can usually find one trying for their certification, who will be there for you for basically the cost of gas it takes to get there. I'm having my baby in Tennessee...also on medicaid, but there are a lot of midwives that take it...although, if I make it, I do have to labor in hospital.
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