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Please - I need open minds and realistic opinions here. ( long but please read) piog

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:04 PM
  • 8 Replies

I am in a very fragile state of mind right now.  Please be gentle with your replies. 

I am attepting my second VBAC any day now with an unplanned pregnancy that has already rocked our world.  It has taken a huge amount of time to accept and adjust to this.  We very much love this baby, and because of this I want to make the best decisions I can for him.  I also love my family and need to do what is best for them.

I am now over my EDD.. which I would not have such an issue with except that :

1.  going over has bben so highly unexpected.  I have been in "false labor" for 8 weeks.

2.  I have had to deal with horrid pelvic and sciatic issues that my chiropracter has only been able to do so much about.  I had to quit working much earlier than expected which has put us in a very scary financial situation, and me getting back to work soon is a huge stress. I have a hard time getting around and taking care of my kids. Some days my pain is so bad I am on hands and knees crawling around my house. This all has caused me a lot of depression....

3. I don't want  to have anoher c-section because of compicaions of going after my due date. ( i am well aware of how far i can go over before any arise)

4. (the BIGGEST issue) - my DH took 2 days off this week in a row because we were thinking for sure my labor had started.  His work forced him to take his FMLA and he cannot take it back, so he can not return to work until the time he submitted to return, which means I could be pregnant the entire time he is home, and he will not be able to be home or with me when the baby actually arrives.  This is a HUGE problem to me.  I have 2 other children (ages 2 and 6), and not much help once baby arrives.  I suffered a very hard physically recovery after my last VBAC and expect to this time because of my pelvic issues.  I also had severe PPD from my last birth, and am afraid of having to deal with it again alone...... 

We are pressed for time as far as if I am going to have him available to be home with me, even a couple days.  This is very hard for me to accept, but I also REALLY don't want to be forced to do anything unnaturally to get this baby out, yet I have already taken the dive and had my membranes stripped once this week, and we are doing everything naturally to get things going (nipple stim, sex, walking, hip rotations, etc).  I get amazing results and really feel like  active labor is near or happening, then it dies off.   Babies position seems ok, he is -1 station.  I am dialted to a 6 and 80% effaced (have been for over 1 week, before then i was at a 4 for a month).  I am not sure what is going on.....  but I am now feeling if I want my husband home, this baby needs to happen SOON!  My midwife is not forcing me to make any decisions, he is being totally amazing, and I am so lucky to have him there to listen to all I am going through.  I have a great doula as well that is doing her best to help support me.

My idea is that I may just have to have them break my water if he doesnt come in the next 24 hours, especially if I am going to have that support time with my husband. This is a very very hard decision and I have cried so much trying to figure out what to do.  I know because I am a VBAC the hospital will want to monitor me continuously, which I am not happy about...  but I will have freedom to move around the room for the most part, and birth on the floor, bed, chair, whereever I feel comfortable.   With my last birth, I showed up pushing and was on the bed with the monitor on..  and I didnt even really care or notice.  Labor happened so fast the last thing on my mind was that I was even there.    I am very aware that things could go wrong, I know the risks I face if I do this.....  but I hope that because of my dialation, etc.. that things will go fast and I can have as little intervention as possible.

I am just so afraid of heading into next week still pregnant and losing the support of my husband..  the support i need most.

I am very lost.  

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-8):
unique_puzzle
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:11 PM

Sorry I don't have any advice really.  I hope everything works out and your baby is delivered safely whatever decision you make.  

mostlymaydays
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:44 PM
Withmy last baby, due to circumstances similar to yours but I'm not going to go into, I did have my midwife break my water. It happened during an exam, a vigorous exam to say the least. I went into full labor an hour later, baby born 8 hours later, my most difficult and longest labor. Would my labor have been better if I trusted the natural process? I'm pretty certain it wold have been. It was my fourth and NOTHING like my other easier births. I wish I could have let things be but it just was a mess, trying to coordinate things and get the stars aligned. So I have been in your shoes, and I guess I'd do it the same way all things considered, although I wish my life would have let things unfold naturally, but it was not meant to be this time. I do beat myself up a little, especially when I see others inducing when I know it truly is not the best way to go, or when I want to hide some details of my birth story so I won't be judged too harshly by people who were able to do things "right", and I usually don't think it's right to force mother nature. You have to make decisions based on your circumstances, weighing the risks against the benefits. Tomorrow your balance might give you a different answer than today. Good luck.
doulala
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 2:30 AM

SO much pressure!!
HUGS!


With all those anxious hormones running rampant, that baby will want to tuck in deeper...
I strongly encourage you to adjust your perspective.
Stay open to the way Mother Nature works:  she will require you to go with the flow~~  whatever that may be...

You know your time with your husband is limited as are your finances.     So you can only work on from that point, rather than dwell within it.

Remember that this is a very temporary situation.   
It WILL pass and things WILL get better...  
But your memories of the experience will last your entire lifetime.
Whatever you choose to do, please do it because it feels best to you.

 

Love you hun!!!!!

 


Pandapanda
by on Dec. 12, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Bump hunny! How are things now?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
doulala
by on Dec. 12, 2010 at 6:14 PM


Quoting Pandapanda:

Bump hunny! How are things now?



I would LOVE to hear an update...    she has some news...


;-D




DixieFlower
by on Dec. 12, 2010 at 6:24 PM

hugs

VelvetCat
by on Dec. 13, 2010 at 12:11 AM

I updated with a new post  titled

my crazy 1 hour VBAC!

Quoting Pandapanda:

Bump hunny! How are things now?


TotallyConfused
by on Dec. 25, 2010 at 12:44 AM

just sending energy your way :-)

I see your update, and will go check that out!!

congrats mama!!

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