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First Time Mom: Overwhelmed!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:02 PM
  • 4 Replies

I really appreciate all the information that is posted here, it gives me so much to consider that I would have even known were decisions I could/should make!

I'm overwhelmed though, and hope someone can clarify a few things for me:

1.  This is my first pregnancy, is it safe for me to deliver at a birthing center instead of a hospital?

2.  What would happen at a birthing center if the delivery did go wrong?  What help is available if I really did need a truly emergency c-section?  Would I have to be rushed to the hospital?

3.  Which do you think are the most important decisions to stand firm on, to chose my battles on?  I've read so much and it sounds like I could have to fight for every single decision.  So if I deliver at a hopsital, which are the non-negotiables and which are things I could chose to let slide?  For example, it seems I need to decide on: gown vs. own choice; episiotomy or tear; cord clamping; constant monitoring; induction; vaginal exams; medications; positions; movement; participants; nursing; keeping baby with me or nursery; and on and on...

Thank you so much, I'm really overwhelmed!

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:02 PM
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Replies (1-4):
truealaskanmom
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:20 PM

Yes it is safe if not safer for you to deliver in a free standing birth center rather than a hospital.  If something went wrong you would transfer to a nearby hospital for whatever is needed and most transfers occur way before an actual emergency as a precaution, and just so you know a true emergency happens in 5% or less of all births our c-section rate is very over inflated. I personally think that you need to stand firm on everything with staff because once they find a chink in the armor they will hammer at that until you keep giving in.  I honestly think if anything you should always say no to vaginal exams unless you want one then ask for it, and monitoring those are the 2 things that always are at the start of the intervention cascade. If you do birth in the hospital make sure your provider is on board and get a doula and do a birth plan. 

If I could give birth in a birth center I would and since this is your first you are being given the chance that few get which is start out birthing in the right places and the best way, most people who choose out of hospital births do it because the hospital traumatized them with a previous birth.  I know it is overwhelming but just take your time and question everything. Remember you are in charge and do not have to do anything you don't want

Mrs.Salz
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:43 PM


Quoting glenechogirl:
3.  Which do you think are the most important decisions to stand firm on, to chose my battles on?  I've read so much and it sounds like I could have to fight for every single decision.  So if I deliver at a hopsital, which are the non-negotiables and which are things I could chose to let slide?  For example, it seems I need to decide on: gown vs. own choice; episiotomy or tear; cord clamping; constant monitoring; induction; vaginal exams; medications; positions; movement; participants; nursing; keeping baby with me or nursery; and on and on...

I just had my first baby at a hospital and we got there right before I started transition, so most of these things weren't an issue.   Your hospital will have its own policies, and my hospital and midwife were very open to my very specific birth plan that laid out what I wanted. 

I would suggest going to the hospital as late in labor as you can (within reason) because then a lot of things like a hospital gown, monitoring, frequent exams, meds, movement and positions, etc. won't have time to be disputed. 

As long as your baby doesn't need to go to the NICU, there is NO reason why s/he will need to leave your room. 

You can always refuse an induction.  They cannot legally give you an episiotomy without your consent. 

Having a doula and/or your DH there to make sure they delay clamping, don't give shots if desired, etc. will help a lot.

I really like www.givingbirthnaturally.com for help on natural births in hospitals :)

doulala
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 8:12 PM


Quoting glenechogirl:

I really appreciate all the information that is posted here, it gives me so much to consider that I would have even known were decisions I could/should make!

I'm overwhelmed though, and hope someone can clarify a few things for me:

1.  This is my first pregnancy, is it safe for me to deliver at a birthing center instead of a hospital?

2.  What would happen at a birthing center if the delivery did go wrong?  What help is available if I really did need a truly emergency c-section?  Would I have to be rushed to the hospital?

3.  Which do you think are the most important decisions to stand firm on, to chose my battles on?  I've read so much and it sounds like I could have to fight for every single decision.  So if I deliver at a hopsital, which are the non-negotiables and which are things I could chose to let slide?  For example, it seems I need to decide on: gown vs. own choice; episiotomy or tear; cord clamping; constant monitoring; induction; vaginal exams; medications; positions; movement; participants; nursing; keeping baby with me or nursery; and on and on...

Thank you so much, I'm really overwhelmed!

If you are healthy & having a normal pregnancy, an out-of-hospital birth is as safe/safer than the hospital.   It can be MUCH more enjoyable, too.
And most things that women put on their birth plans and have to fight for are standard in a birth center (or home) birth.

Midwives will help moms prevent complications and avoid unnecessary risks.    So we are less likely to need intervention/emergency care.    But if it does happen and we do need medical help, they are trained in many procedures and will help to get mom transferred/cared for by the appropriate professionals.

Only you can know what to stand firm on, because these are your preferences.    What do you want/not want?
If you get some ideas behind why you prefer to consent/avoid then you can play situations by ear when/IF the situation should arise.


It might seem overwhelming~  and in a way this is a good thig!   It means that you're aware that you do have options and choices!

We can help you along your path~  and you can know that through your preparation these things will sort themselves out, too.

;-D

We are here for you!






"If you don't know your options you don't have any"          ~Korte & Scaer

"If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."    
           ~Rush

Pandapanda
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:36 PM

Oh honey, don't feel overwhelmed. :)

Whether this is your first or tenth baby, a birthing center is an excellent choice for you, as long as you don't have any pre-existing contitions (if you have to ask what conditions, you more than likely don't need to worry about it)

On the off chance something were to go wrong during your labor, a skilled midwife would likely spot a problem before it happened and take course to head it off, or turn over your care to an OB of your choice in the area. There are very few problems that would require immediate, right-this-minute medical intervention and most can be seen before they present that kind of danger.

I don't think you should choose your battles on anything. This is your body and your birth. Do your research on all procedures and tests, study your birth center's policy and ask plenty of questions throughout your pregnancy. They can't give you the middle finger and toss you out to the parking lot once you're in labor, so if you decline something be sure that you have one or two support people to make sure that you aren't pestered. "Hospital policy" doesn't matter, you're the one doing all the work.

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