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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Shes young..pregnant...And surrounded my bad people...UPDATED-AGAIN!

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 7:58 PM
  • 56 Replies

Lol..Thats the best interesting title I could come up with.

My step daughter is 18 and found out she is pregnant last night...She lives with her mother(whom forced her to have an abortion when she was 15)...Her mother and that side of her family is major "hospital/doctor/ norm"...

Then there is me..Natural birthing cloth diapering momma...She is willing to learn and see her options. I want to show her all of her options. I want to show her statistics and information on Pitocin/Epi's/Cesareans/tearing/episiotomy/midwives/ETC...

We are in Maryland(Baltimore area) if anyone is around here...

I dont know where to find all this information..Does anyone have any good websites/videos?

THANKS!!!


So after her mom found out she turned off her cell phone and wouldnt allow her to leave the house(in cali). She wouldnt allow her to call anyone, including her father. She was texting me and her boyfriend the night her and her mom were fighting. She was telling me how she wanted to rent the house next door to us and work at the daycare that my mother and I are opening so that she could stay with her baby. She was telling her boyfriend that they were going to get married, they picked out a crib, they picked names. She was happy.After these texts that night her phone was shut off.

My husband called her 20 times and left maybe 8 messages she wouldnt reply. He called her mothers parents and they wouldnt answer. Even her Mothers sister...Same...Well her boyfriend contacts me through facebook. And he comes over last night to meet my husband and I. He is a great guy. He comes from a strong, loving supportive family, She and he had all the support they would ever need. We were just worried about what was happening to her since we couldnt get ahole of her.

Her mother accidentally pocket dialed my husband when they were landing back here in MD from cali...last night at 11pm... while my step daugters boyfriend was still here. So we knew they were back. They were at the airport that is 3 minutes(literally) from our house. My step daughter could have walked away from her mother and called up from a payohone, she could have borrowed a cell or even talked to the many police there at the airport. ANYTHING! But she chose not too. We continued to call her mother and she wouldnt answer. Nor would she this morning.

Her mother finally calls my husband this morning and she tell him that "she started bleeding this morning and she went to the ob"..All alone...pregnant..bleeding...no cell phne..BULLSHIT!

He calls back 4 hours later(my step daughter was suppose to call us) and her mother simply says "She terminated her pregnancy".

I am so beyond angry right now. I cant even tell you. I am shaking. I am furious. I cant believe she killed another one of her babies. I dont think she EVER deserves the chance to have the joy of being a mother now. I know she was influenced by her mother. BUT the fact is she is 19(will be in 5 days) and she chose to do this. I think it is even worse because she was making plans with the father to marry him and they picked names etc etc. I even bought her baby clothes and ordered her cloth diapers.

She still hasnt talked to her father. Her mother just keeps saying she is "unavailable".

Ahh, Well. .She did not choose to have an abortion. She did have a miscarriage. Her mother was calling people telling them that she CHOSE to have a surgical abortion because she did not want her baby! She is a sick person.

However, My opinions stated above would still stand true if she HAD CHOSEN to have an abortion. Sorry if that bothers some people. But  that is my opinion. I am 23 years old. Only 4 1/2 years older than her. I had my first child when I was 17. I KNOW how hard teen pregnancy is, I KNOW how it feels to have people disapprove. She is not a 15 year old child anymore. She is a strong young woman. I was very proud of her and her choices that she was making. Her and I are very close and I was so excited for her! But when her mother told us that she chose to kill her baby I was livid. And yes, I do believe that if she chose to do that as a consenting adult then in MY OPINION she did not deserve to be a mother.

I am happy to say that she did not choose this. She had a miscarriage unfortunately. She is sad and hurting. I am here for her. She is doing better.

The sad thing is she is still choosing to live with her mother even after her mother doing this again...


by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 7:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
truealaskanmom
by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 8:21 PM

comb through the group there are tons of post with info just here you can print off, and talk with midwives, if she can avoid the hospital that would be best for her to start now on the safer path, I hope you can help her 

rachelrothchild
by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 10:55 PM

Doulala has tons of great resources for all of that.  You can do internet searches as well and find statistics.

Roadfamily6now
by on Apr. 17, 2011 at 11:23 PM

You Tube all the Homebirth videos!

doulala
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2011 at 2:54 AM


Quoting rachelrothchild:

Doulala has tons of great resources for all of that.  You can do internet searches as well and find statistics.

zoinks, now the pressure is on!

;-P







"The protocols in the world of animal husbandry to protect an offspring at the time of birth--no strangers, dimmed lights, freedom of movement, familiar environment, unlimited nourishment, respectful quiet, no disruptions--are done without hesitation because to do otherwise invites "unexplained distress" or sudden demise of the offspring."   -Beth Barbeau

How about a little help-info-encouragement-support for Natural Birth?

doulala
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2011 at 2:58 AM
Quoting tiger_tatted1:

 I want to show her statistics and information on Pitocin/Epi's/Cesareans/tearing/episiotomy/midwives/ETC...

We are in Maryland(Baltimore area) if anyone is around here...

I dont know where to find all this information..Does anyone have any good websites/videos?

I don't personally have anything on your area in particular, but sould suggest a bunch of stuff and you/she can start to look into it all.

I would first offer some good books-- well one to start, don't overwhelm her~
;-)
See if she wants to take a birth class.   You can Google to see what is available in the area.
Is she insured?    Do you know much about her provider options with her coverage?    You might offer to help her interview and give her a list of questions to ask.

We can help along the process but one thing at a time.


Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma


When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan


tiger_tatted1
by on Apr. 18, 2011 at 9:19 PM

Thanks everyone. I found some good websites that list the statistics for my state...32.2%C-sections rate...But its even higher for the hospitals around us...Ugh!

She is skeptical about not being in a hospital which is okay, I found her a midwife who delivers in a hospital..She is actually 1 of 4 that have an office IN the hospital and they have great reviews! Yay! I wish I had known about them 8 months ago when I delivered, LOL.

She is currently taking 4 college classes so she has a ton to read as it is so I think Im going to hold off on that, lol.

I also found her some great classes to go to. :)

Her mother and my husband(her dad) have insurance on her. We have good coverage and we will be paying for at least the first visit as she has not told her mother  or father so I am making the appointment and going with her...by myself...

She doesnt plan on telling her mother until she is about 5-6 months or as long as she can go without her mother noticing. She plans on telling her dad in a month or so.

DixieFlower
by on Apr. 24, 2011 at 9:14 PM

It might be better for her to tell as soon as she can since her insurance is through both parents. They will send the EOB's to them and it will have the prenatal visits on there :(

Quoting tiger_tatted1:

Thanks everyone. I found some good websites that list the statistics for my state...32.2%C-sections rate...But its even higher for the hospitals around us...Ugh!

She is skeptical about not being in a hospital which is okay, I found her a midwife who delivers in a hospital..She is actually 1 of 4 that have an office IN the hospital and they have great reviews! Yay! I wish I had known about them 8 months ago when I delivered, LOL.

She is currently taking 4 college classes so she has a ton to read as it is so I think Im going to hold off on that, lol.

I also found her some great classes to go to. :)

Her mother and my husband(her dad) have insurance on her. We have good coverage and we will be paying for at least the first visit as she has not told her mother  or father so I am making the appointment and going with her...by myself...

She doesnt plan on telling her mother until she is about 5-6 months or as long as she can go without her mother noticing. She plans on telling her dad in a month or so.


tiger_tatted1
by on Apr. 25, 2011 at 10:10 PM

No her mother has insurance on her AND her father has insurance on her. Two seperate accounts. When I use our insurance on her the bill will come to our house and I will get it as my husband doesnt get the mail, lol. BUT all of that doesnt really matter cuz her mother now knows. I dont know what she wants to do now as her mother has a tendency to change her mind on everything. (They have a hate-hate relationship but she chooses to live with her mother cuz her mothers boyfriend is a millionaire and she gets pretty much what she wants)..

Quoting DixieFlower:

It might be better for her to tell as soon as she can since her insurance is through both parents. They will send the EOB's to them and it will have the prenatal visits on there :(

Quoting tiger_tatted1:

Thanks everyone. I found some good websites that list the statistics for my state...32.2%C-sections rate...But its even higher for the hospitals around us...Ugh!

She is skeptical about not being in a hospital which is okay, I found her a midwife who delivers in a hospital..She is actually 1 of 4 that have an office IN the hospital and they have great reviews! Yay! I wish I had known about them 8 months ago when I delivered, LOL.

She is currently taking 4 college classes so she has a ton to read as it is so I think Im going to hold off on that, lol.

I also found her some great classes to go to. :)

Her mother and my husband(her dad) have insurance on her. We have good coverage and we will be paying for at least the first visit as she has not told her mother  or father so I am making the appointment and going with her...by myself...

She doesnt plan on telling her mother until she is about 5-6 months or as long as she can go without her mother noticing. She plans on telling her dad in a month or so.



Roadfamily6now
by on Apr. 26, 2011 at 1:54 AM

thanks for the update

MommyWife224
by on Apr. 26, 2011 at 11:47 AM

i feel like since you are a good influence on her she may have a chance in the hospital/at natural birth/breastfeeding, etc. you just have to shower her with good reviews of all of that to cover the negative ones she'll get from her other side of the family

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