Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Vent

Posted by on May. 6, 2011 at 4:23 PM
  • 8 Replies
Some of you may be aware of my husband and I making the decision to not call anyone or have then at the hospital until after the birth and when we feel ready to have visitors.

His mother is continually throwing a fit about this as well as his brothers wife.
His mother says she is a 52 year old grandma and she WILL be at that hospital when the baby is born, she doesnt care what we say.

It really hurts Dh that his family doesn't support us. It pisses me off, I have a harder time brushing this stuff off. His mother doesn't want me breastfeeding since she won't be able to keep the baby over night as soon. Wth!!! The woman is crazy.

I get that she is excited for her first grandbaby but she never calls me, hasn't invited me over for dinner or to watch movies in the 6months I've been pregnant.

I just don't know what to say to her, she hast said anything to my face about this. It's always to other people. But I've had it, I'm about to blow up on her.

I'm having a natural birth and we don't need all the drama that is happening surrounding the birth of our first child. I don't want a million people there while I'm concentrating on labor. And they say how selfish we are being.

What do I say to these crazy people???

Thanks for letting me vent. I needed that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 6, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
JaceTalonsMom
by on May. 6, 2011 at 4:34 PM

It is soooooo sad when people think they are "entitled" to be at a birth.  It is such a private moment and it's YOUR moment.  I also dealt with my MIL wanting to be there.  She never said anything about wanting to be there.  She just assumed I would.  She came over moping and telling my husband she was "sad".  What the heck? There was nothing sad about my baby's birth.  She will just have to get over it.  It was the best natural birth and the people I wanted there, were there.  It's totally up to you.  Stick to your guns.  I regret my MIL being there when I had my first so this time I wanted it my way.  No regrets. 

As for the breastfeeding, ignore, ignore, ignore!  Just do it.  So sorry you are dealing with this.  Keep on posting to make you feel better.  =)

truealaskanmom
by on May. 6, 2011 at 4:38 PM

Tell them what you just said to us that you are having a natural birth it is YOUR birth not HERS and you want peace and privacy and that you will be breastfeeding and are sorry if that bothers them but you will not do something harmful just so they get what they want.  Be blunt

determinedhbac
by on May. 6, 2011 at 5:59 PM

I agree be blunt... you will feel better. big smile mini

thinkingmom2be
by on May. 6, 2011 at 7:15 PM

Vent  away - and hopefully it helps.  

You totally have a right to privacy.  Privacy is one of the main reasons we are having a hotel birth.  We live in the basement suite of my Grandma's house and while I think she would respect our privacy it is not the same and we wish to be totally alone together with our new LO to start our family.  We are taking two days and while we will call people right away so those who have to travel can etc. we won't be giving out our room number or details until we are ready.  You could point out to your MIL that you are breastfeeding for the health of the baby and that an overnight visit with her is not more important than the baby's health.  

doulala
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2011 at 7:57 PM

You can just apologize.

"I am sorry, you're right.   This isn't about my baby, it IS about you.   What was I thinking?!    I will be sure to put you ahead of my child's needs.   Thanks for reminding me, you are sure helpful.   I will always come to you first."

Don't be sarcastic, either.   Seriously.

 

 

Just call them when (if) you want.    Why call anyone before even when on good terms??    lol
Call them AFTER.
Avoiding a hospital setting is nice on many levels~  how about just staying home?

;-)

mrschelley1219
by Member on May. 6, 2011 at 8:51 PM
Love it. In my most upset hormonal moment I almost called her and offered to just sign custody of my child over to her. It seems like what she want.(I'm being VERY sarcastic)

Quoting doulala:

You can just apologize.


"I am sorry, you're right.   This isn't about my baby, it IS about you.   What was I thinking?!    I will be sure to put you ahead of my child's needs.   Thanks for reminding me, you are sure helpful.   I will always come to you first."


Don't be sarcastic, either.   Seriously.


 


 


Just call them when (if) you want.    Why call anyone before even when on good terms??    lol
Call them AFTER.
Avoiding a hospital setting is nice on many levels~  how about just staying home?


;-)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MyIslandGirls
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2011 at 10:23 PM

I'd just Unplugg your phone, change the locks and disconnect your internet. You won't be using it anyways. Then in the dead of night between contractions.. sneek off to the hospital! lol

 

I agree with doulala... just lock the dorrs and birth at home much easier.. it's on your terms.

CrunchyMom2Two
by on May. 7, 2011 at 11:10 AM

One bonus on a hospital birth: let the staff know what you want and THEY will be the one to tell them.  I also have a friend who posted a sign on her door after the birth of her son and it spelled out quite clearly that if you did not call or had not been invited over the door would not be answered.  Her MIL was insisting that she would be in the delivery room.  Shortly before the birth of their son her husband told she was not to worry about that because she was his mother and he would deal with her.  Just a possbiblity: let DH deal with her!

As for the breastfeeding: my oldest is three and has never spent a full night away from my hubs and myself.  Only one full night away from me, I was in the hospital with pre-term labor with my second and it was upsetting and hard to sleep for both of us.  This is your child and you need to stand united with your husband in the choices you make!  Good luck!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)