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So, my almost 3 year old saw a homebirth video :)

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:29 PM
  • 18 Replies

I was watching a homebirth video of a cm'er and dd walked up, just as the mom was getting into position.  She stood there, just watching, didn't say a word (if you have a soon-to-be 3 year old, you know how rare that can be).  When it was over and the mommy was holding the baby, she said, calm as could be, "Ohhhhh, she had a baby" and walked off to go play again.

When I thought she was playing and not paying attention again later, I clicked on a couple of the other suggested youtube videos of homebirths and, sure enough, she navigated her way to the computer screen again!  I wasn't sure how much to let her see (although we've always tried to let her know that the human body has its purposes, from breasts for nursing to penis/vagina for peeing, actually just switched from "girl/boy parts" to using correct terms, too).

So, how much would you let a little one see of homebirthing, especially this young?  I want her to always see birth as a natural, normal thing, just like mommy nursing her little brother.  And I don't want to stifle curiousity, even though she hasn't really asked too many questions just yet (other  than, "Does she have an owie?"--the sound was off, so she was just reading the woman's face).

Thanks, ladies!
Clara

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by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
travaildoula
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:32 PM
I would let her see them! It will peak her curiosity, just answer her question, but try to answer them on her level. :)
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mostlymaydays
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2011 at 2:39 PM
I think it's great that she first learns that birth is a natural process. You are right there to answer questions, to gently explain what is going on to dispel anything you know she might first perceive as a little scary. I think the reason so many women are mortified that people actually choose natural birth is because their entire opinion of childbirth is formulated by what they see on tv and in movies, where women are screaming for drugs, gnashing their teeth and threatening to kill people, screaming "I can't push anymore, just cut it out of me".
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doulala
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:40 PM

My daughter (same age) had watched many births including her own.   Lots of graphic stuff because it's all normal and not a "bad" thing.

I have always explained it like "Mommy is thinking hard, which helps the baby to come out.    She makes big sounds to help baby, too.    Let's practice those sounds together now, for fun!"
And we did:   "ahhhhhhhh, oooohhhHHHHHHH."
Lots of things to prepare!

lol

TippyD
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:18 PM

my 21 month old has seen a couple videos.. she just watches and when the baby comes out she ask "baby???" and I tell her yes, she goes "BABY!!!!!!!!!!" and laughs and touches the baby:)   I see no problem with it..

Emily1226
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:04 PM

Maybe this would be a good way to get my 5 year old over her fear of childbirth.... I know that it sounds strange, but she has sworn off marrige becuase she doesn't want to have a baby. Becuase it hurts alot... her words.

JealousGrrl
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:07 PM

I don't see a problem as long as the kid gets what's going on.  :)

Pandapanda
by on May. 21, 2011 at 8:15 PM
I have a son, so I'm not sure if/when to allow him to see those types of things. I want him to have a good understanding of where babies come from and that it's normal, but is it different showing a boy than a girl? Is it something I don't let him see at all?
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Raeann11
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2011 at 8:56 PM

My girls watched some before there baby sister was born. We wanted them to be comfortable with it. Since they were going to be there. They were 6 yrs and 3 yrs, they were there right up close and watched. My midwife said girls the baby is coming. If you want you can come and sit by me. So they saw everything.

I had a blood vessel break during delivery on my right labia. It really swelled up. It did not scare or phase them.

bellaamore
by on May. 21, 2011 at 9:19 PM

Punk say videos of homebirth about that age, and is still interested. He will tell youstraight up that it is beautiful and doesnt look scary at all, but a hopital birth video is gross to him.. he says that the wires and tubes and stuff just weird him out.

He wants to be a doctor, and loves studyingthe human body, though, so...

I wouldnt allow any where she looks to be in terrible pain or anything at your child's age, but otherwise, I don't see an issue.

doulala
by on May. 21, 2011 at 11:04 PM
Quoting Emily1226:

Maybe this would be a good way to get my 5 year old over her fear of childbirth.... I know that it sounds strange, but she has sworn off marrige becuase she doesn't want to have a baby. Becuase it hurts alot... her words.

Yes, how would she know it hurts?  I am guessing that someone told her that.
If she hears allll through her life that birthing-Mothering-nurturing are beautiful and wonderful and intense and hard then when she is older she will have a real and positive foundation for whatever she chooses/doesn't choose for marriage-motherhood...
Pain doesn't need to be a part of the equation.






Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma


When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan


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