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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

"Breastfeeding failure" is an oxymoron

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"Breastfeeding is a relationship--not a test-- and success looks different for everyone." ANY amount of breastfeeding benefits your baby!

http://www.bestforbabes.org/breastfeeding-failure-is-an-oxymoron/

by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Replies (11-14):
peaches_04
by on Nov. 5, 2011 at 3:59 AM
Bump great article thanks for sharing
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jconney80
by Group Mod on Nov. 5, 2011 at 3:33 PM
I'm so sorry. I developed post partum depression after not being able to nurse my first. I had an abruption at 36 weeks and had to be put under for an emergency cesarean. She had problems breathing on her own and was in the nicu. Everything after that screwed up BFing and I was young and had no idea. She was given bottles and pacifiers in the nicu and would never latch. I pumped for almost 3 months, had bad ppd, and was an emotional zombie wreck. It was crazy. I felt like such a failure even though I did all I knew to do at the time. It was definitely a loss that I never gave myself the chance to grieve until much later. Its so hard.

Quoting Yahooligans:

Preface: TMI


Boy... I wish this were true for me. I had DD 5 weeks early, while she was still healthy she needed to take in supplements to force her to gain weight. Additionally, the lactationist looked my nipple and said, "ohhhhhh... hmmm". Apparently my nipple was too short for her to latch on to... then they wanted me to fit a small tube into her mouth while I breast fed... so here I am with this early baby, holding a tube in it's mouth with a " suctiony nipple extender"... I tried pumping, and got one good pump from each breast. I even took medication to increase my milk...

needless to say, I developed severe postpartum depression.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Yahooligans
by on Nov. 5, 2011 at 4:46 PM


Quoting jconney80:

I'm so sorry. I developed post partum depression after not being able to nurse my first. I had an abruption at 36 weeks and had to be put under for an emergency cesarean. She had problems breathing on her own and was in the nicu. Everything after that screwed up BFing and I was young and had no idea. She was given bottles and pacifiers in the nicu and would never latch. I pumped for almost 3 months, had bad ppd, and was an emotional zombie wreck. It was crazy. I felt like such a failure even though I did all I knew to do at the time. It was definitely a loss that I never gave myself the chance to grieve until much later. Its so hard.

Quoting Yahooligans:

Preface: TMI


Boy... I wish this were true for me. I had DD 5 weeks early, while she was still healthy she needed to take in supplements to force her to gain weight. Additionally, the lactationist looked my nipple and said, "ohhhhhh... hmmm". Apparently my nipple was too short for her to latch on to... then they wanted me to fit a small tube into her mouth while I breast fed... so here I am with this early baby, holding a tube in it's mouth with a " suctiony nipple extender"... I tried pumping, and got one good pump from each breast. I even took medication to increase my milk...

needless to say, I developed severe postpartum depression.

YUP! We also went through 2 deployments during those first 2 years... the first was when I found out about DD's brain issues... hard to tell your husband what's going on without severely distracting him from his job. 

After her got home, she was born, and I was ready to go back to work... he had the "you've changed" talk... I was put on Celexa for about a year and a half. I have mostly bounced back, but it's hard not to slip due to my current lack of employment. Nothing like having a degree and a master's yet collecting unemployment makes you feel like a real loser. :(

SleuthMaria
by on Nov. 5, 2011 at 5:25 PM

Maybe it's just me (& I admit, I only skimmed the article), but saying "Breastfeeding failure is an oxymoron" seems to negate & disrepect the feelings of moms, like me, who were unable to breastfeed one, or more, of their children. When my husband & I found out we were expecting our first baby, I was so sure that I'd breastfeed, exclusively, no bottles OR formula. My pregnancy was textbook perfect, up until the last couple weeks. I ended up having to have a c-section. Found out a few hours later that our baby, probably had a life-threatening chromosome disorder. He ended up needing to be tube fed, exclusively. I TRIED pumping for 6 weeks, before giving up & turning in the pump. It's been 12 years & since then, I've successfully breastfed 3 children (for a total of around 9 years of BFing). I still believe that I failed in my attempt at breastfeeding our first baby &, even more importantly feel I failed him (in more ways than just not being able to BF since I also failed him on the most important night of his short life). I'm sure the idea behind the article was to make women feel better about themselves & every attempt at breastfeeding they may have made, or will make, but I think that sometimes, breastfeeding failure is a simple fact, as in my case, & that women should be encouraged to acknowledge ALL of their feelings &, rather than denying that failure is possible where breastfeeding is concerned, instead see that failure can be a stepping stone to better attempts in the future (if you have the opportunity to try again). I also don't think that using the word "failure" in regards to breastfeeding negates anyone's attempts or fails to give credit for effort. I'm NOT saying that ANYONE should tell a woman shed "failed at breastfeeding." I do, however think a woman should be able to feel that she failed at breastfeeding a certain child IF that's how SHE feels about it without ANYONE trying to convince her she's "wrong." If a woman sets a goal for herself &, for whatever reason fails to meet that goal, seems to me, she's entitled to feel anyway she wishes to about it. I may just be oversensitive about this (been feeling kinda oversensitive/overemotional about a LOT of things lately) & hope I haven't offended anyone.

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