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Trouble TTC and home brith fears

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:10 PM
  • 13 Replies

Ok girls, here's some thing that I am struggling with.  I have been a home birth proponent for as long as I can remember.  I have always wanted to have a midwife and home birth (preferably water birth), and I have dh's support, if I choose to do this.  He is actually way more supportive than I ever thought he would be, but he pretty much lets me do my thing, learns later, and just accepts my decisions.

Here is my delimma.  I have PCOS, am overweight, and I am (of course) struggling to get pregnant.  I have had to go to doctor to get interventions from them, even though I really didn't want to go that route, I have tried everything I can do on my own.  I am so anti pills and anti drugs, but when it comes down to it there's not much else I can do if I want to have a baby.

So here I am, trying to decide if I think I should pursue a home birth or not.  I will probably only be having one child, as it is such a struggle for me to get pregnant.  I want this birth to be a happy a good experience, not medically dictated.  However, that said I am terrified.  I am terrified because of the struggle I have had.  I know that anything can go wrong, hospital or not, but I am just afraid that if I do have a home birth and some thing does go wrong, I will never forgive myself. 

Seeing as it is a struggle that one baby will be very precious to me and if some thing were to happen that, had I been in a hospital could have been treated easily, or could have avoided any complications.  I don't know if any of this is making any sense at all.  It's hard for me to put all this into words.  I have gone to a doctor that has several midwifes who are pro natural birth (as long as it's in the hospital setting) and I thought this would be the best option for me; but I am still worried about how it will all go down.  And yes I know I am worried about some thing that is pointless because I'm not even pregnant yet. 

But none the less I am curious if any of you have had this kind of struggle, or have any advice for me.  My mom is an RN is against me having a home birth for the reasons I mentioned.  So it's hard for me to not have her support.  So, any thoughts, encouragement, ideas?

Trying to Conceive Baby #1



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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peaches_04
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:08 PM
Anythings possible.
Even with pcos you still ovulate just only 3 or 4 times a year vs the normal 12
One girl in this group has pcos and concieved 3 children naturally...just took a few years in between to get there
Pcos doesnt mean youre infertile just more difficult to concieve
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peaches_04
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:12 PM
And all babys are precious wether u can only have one or not
If u have the mindset u shouldnt hb bc youre afraid for the babys safety u shouldnt have that mindset just bc it MAY be your only child...if you were still guaranteed another child after this one why would its safety be less important
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peaches_04
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:12 PM
I didnt mean that to be snarky if it came off that way ^
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peaches_04
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:15 PM
Think of all the danger complications you can put the baby in by birthing in a hospital especially with a mom that is a rn that could prob easily sway u into intervention that could cause harm to your baby
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jedilynne
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:27 PM

This is why I was really hesitant to post this in here.  I didn't want to come across as having this, nothing matters if I could have more children mindset because that isn't how I feel.  I know that every baby is precious, and it truly doesn't matter how many children I could have.  I am not saying it is less important, I am saying that it is weighing heavily on my mind because of everything I am going through to get pregnant.  I have been ttc since May of 2010. 

I know that hb is just as safe, if not more safe, than a hospital birth.  I am just really scared.  And for the record my mother is a lactation specialist and is for non intervnetions when it comes to birth, she and I have talked about this extensively. 

peaches_04
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:39 PM

not judging or anything just playing devils advocate

.sp4rkl3z.
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:39 PM
I don't see the problem with recognizing how special that baby will be...this baby I am pregnant with is special because I wouldn't have been trying to conceive it had my son not died. That doesn't mean I'm replacing my son (impossible) or that we wouldn't have had a 3rd child, just that we were TTC sooner than expected. But the baby that you finally conceive after your struggles will be so precious and special :) I get it.

You say you are anti meds but to me it sounds like you would benefit from them...is there a reason you won't take them?
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Brandy85412
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:43 PM

I know anxiety and really wanting something to happen can make it that much harder to conceive. I'd say relax get pregnant first and just do your research about home births. And find that support you will need.  But if your that afraid don't do it. Fear will not help your birth experience. Maybe go with a birthing center instead to help ensure that natural birth you want. 

organicyogalove
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:46 PM

Try losing weight before you get pregnant, that will help a ton. I know a ton of folks who had pcos that had homebirths, and a ton of overweight women who did as well with no complications. Eat a healthy well balanced diet, get moderate exercise (start an exercise regimen BEFORE getting pregnant) and stay hydrated. Avoid processed foods and chemical laden cleaners, and take vitamin D3 to help decrease your risk of pre E. 

organicyogalove
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:48 PM

Also, if you truly believe all children are special etc. the option to adopt is ALWAYS there for you. 

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