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Le sigh...

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 5:47 PM
  • 9 Replies
So my husband has decided he wont pay for our midwife. She is the only midwife in our area who does homebirth. This homebirth meant sooo much to me and to have him all of the sudden change his mind is heartbreaking. My options are a UC which hubby is completely against but I feel 100% confident doing, or I could deliver at the Naval hospital on base. When I think of having our baby there I burst into tears. I have heard nothing but horror stories. Should I suck it up and deliver at the hospital or piss off hubby and do a UC at home? Im at such a loss. :(
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Mrs.Salz
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:06 PM

I'm so sorry :(

Are you pregnant now?  How many weeks? 

What made your husband change his mind?  Can you work out a payment plan with the midwife (I know it's stressful on a budget, we are trying to figure out how to afford it for our next baby)?  Can you earn income on the side and pay for it yourself?

Sorry so many questions, just trying to understand your situation better and see if there are other options.  ((hugs))

lundaylove
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:06 PM

i would really really press for having a homebirth. chances are very slim that youll get your natural birth at naval. i would HIGHLY recommend you get a doula if you do. 

lundaylove
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:08 PM

Oh and there is one other midwife out of new bern.... im not sure if she is less than Olivia, shes an underground midwife though.

tabi_cat1023
by Tabi - Admin on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:15 PM

I personally do not trust Naval...or very many hospitals here in NC for that matter, thank god I live in Fayetteville and we have Monarch midwifery.

I think its assanine that your hubby flat out will not pay for the midwife, no discussion.

When are you due?

peaches_04
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:21 PM
I do an "oops" didnt make it to the hospital in time
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MyIslandGirls
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:22 PM

Maybe your midwife would barter with you for her services?

thinkingmom2be
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM

Yeah more info would be helpful.  But I will key in on two things 

1.  you say won't not can't

2.  you say you are 100% comfortable with a UC

So I'm not sure why you wouldn't just saying  "OK then I'm having a UC its my first choice really but I thought you might be more comfortable with a midwife but if you don't think its worth it ..... 

Thinking in terms of changing his decision don't forget to consider only the difference between the cost of a midwife and the cost of the navy hospital.  Eg if the navy hospital is $500 and the MW is $1500 then the cost of having a MW is really only $1000.  The other thing that helped me convince my husband was to relate it to something he wanted and paid for but I didn't.  Like 9 months worth of beer!  

GL 

Quoting Mrs.Salz:

I'm so sorry :(

Are you pregnant now?  How many weeks? 

What made your husband change his mind?  Can you work out a payment plan with the midwife (I know it's stressful on a budget, we are trying to figure out how to afford it for our next baby)?  Can you earn income on the side and pay for it yourself?

Sorry so many questions, just trying to understand your situation better and see if there are other options.  ((hugs))


VintageWife
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:56 PM
3 moms liked this

I'd say well, this baby is coming into the world one of two ways...

#1-A midwife is delivering him/her.

#2-I'm delivering him/her at home with NO medical persons around.

So it's your choice buddy!

Mrs.Salz
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:51 PM

Great perspective!

Quoting thinkingmom2be:

Yeah more info would be helpful.  But I will key in on two things 

1.  you say won't not can't

2.  you say you are 100% comfortable with a UC

So I'm not sure why you wouldn't just saying  "OK then I'm having a UC its my first choice really but I thought you might be more comfortable with a midwife but if you don't think its worth it ..... 

Thinking in terms of changing his decision don't forget to consider only the difference between the cost of a midwife and the cost of the navy hospital.  Eg if the navy hospital is $500 and the MW is $1500 then the cost of having a MW is really only $1000.  The other thing that helped me convince my husband was to relate it to something he wanted and paid for but I didn't.  Like 9 months worth of beer!  

GL 

Quoting Mrs.Salz:

I'm so sorry :(

Are you pregnant now?  How many weeks? 

What made your husband change his mind?  Can you work out a payment plan with the midwife (I know it's stressful on a budget, we are trying to figure out how to afford it for our next baby)?  Can you earn income on the side and pay for it yourself?

Sorry so many questions, just trying to understand your situation better and see if there are other options.  ((hugs))



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