Have you had to overcome the challenge of breastfeeding in front of others?

[Cafe Jenn]

Overcoming the Challenges of Breastfeeding In Front of Other People

Posted by Michele Zipp on February 9, 2012 at 1:10 PM

It's kind of bizarre how we can go to the beach in a bathing suit and think nothing of being basically naked in front of friends, family, and strangers. Yet when women breastfeed their babies, where there is often barely any skin showing, it's sometimes met with gasps and people think it's obscene. Some expect that woman to cover up or take it to a room where no one can see. Oh we live in a strange, strange world.

I breastfed my kids in front of friends and family, and in public. I did sometimes use a cover, but as my kids got older, that became more difficult because they loved to twist it around their little fingers and pull it off.

Still it can be really challenging to breastfeed in front of other people, even with a cover, and sometimes it's even harder to do in front of family.

Of course if your mom breastfed you or you have other family members who breastfed their own kids whenever they were hungry, it probably wasn't a big deal in your family. But for many, it is.

My whole thing with breastfeeding wasn't necessarily who was around me, it was what spot can I nurse my kids where it is most comfortable. But when my father-in-law came to visit us from out of state, I did find it hard to nurse my kids in front of him. I was breastfeeding twins so when I was at home, I nursed them at the same time. It was easier to just take my top off and it was also more comfortable for me to go into the nursery, out of his sight. My step-mother-in-law did come in the room with me though, helping me get both babies to breast and we even chatted while I was nursing.

I've even been to a friend's home and nursed my babies while other kids were around. My friend and her sister both breastfed their kids so it was treated as natural and normal. Just like it should be. Think about it -- it's just a breast, not shown in a sexual manner, instead it's just feeding a baby. For me, there were three things I did to overcome any challenges I may have felt while nursing in front of others:

1. I didn't make a big deal about it. If I was in mid-conversation with a friend and it was time to feed my kids, I just fed them, while still talking.
2. I used a cover (kid willing) in certain situations. You can also nurse your baby while she is in a sling.
3. I felt that if I did breastfeed in front of someone who didn't know how to feel about it, doing so may make them realize it's no big deal, and voila! creating more acceptance.

What does worry me most is how sometimes it's the people closest to you who can't express what is really on their mind -- that you nursing in front of them makes them uncomfortable. Just like how when Facebook deletes a breastfeeding photo, that photo had to have been reported by a friend if settings are private. So that person really has a problem with it and yet couldn't talk to the breastfeeding mom directly about it. That or some of us need to reevaluate our friend list (in person and online).

It's hard to succeed at breastfeeding without support. And being able to nurse in front of others is a part of it. We shouldn't be made to feel ashamed when our kids need to eat. We should get acceptance from those closest to us. Perhaps we should all just prance around in bathing suits to prove a point that it isn't a big deal.

Have you had to overcome the challenge of breastfeeding in front of others? Has your family and friends accepted you nursing your baby in front of them if necessary?

[bren_darlene]

I have nursed a lot of babies but I never had to expose myself in public to do it.  I always covered myself.  Usually no one could even tell I was feeding my babies.

[kailu1835]

I have never really had an issue with it.  I'm always discreet, and respectful of those around me.  ONCE when I was at Target, I was sitting on a chair outside the dressing room when this little girl, about 5 or 6 saw me and just started staring.  I was completely unsure as to what to do... I certainly wasn't going to stop feeding my son, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by asking her not to stare... after all, maybe she'd never seen breastfeeding before lol

[tabi_cat1023]

AT first I used covers, but then when even the cover made people throw a fit about my nursing I stopped.  I finally saw my nursing without a cover as my right and my childs right.

I have a mindset about proving people wrong...so I nurse and if they try to tell me not to I can quote the law..which stops them in their tracks.  I don't flaunt my nursing or anything, in fact I rarely nurse my 21 month old out in public, but if I need to I do.

Its taken time for me...and being told I was wrong when I knew it was ok.

[Effie32509]

I only ever got compliments.

[Mrs.Salz]

I was never really uncomfortable with it. I did practice in front of a mirror a few times though.

[MommaTasha1003]

I am naturally a very shy person. So nursing in front of others is hard for me.. When DD was 6mo we went to my sisters for the week, and even though she nursed kids herself, it was still an odd feeling to do at her house with kids & other people walking around -- I did it & was proud every time lol.. but it was hard. Im sure they where more relaxed about it & thought nothing about it than me lol..

I also had to nurse in public a few times -the mall, going out to eat.. Gosh it was so stressful, I just felt like no matter what I did i was exposing myself.

Im pregnant now & hoping this time around Ill feel better about openly nursing with a cover of some type.. 

[stevensmommy11]

I always at least made an attmept to be discreet unless at home, but there were times when even that was thrown out the window (thank you, little old lady at my great grandfather's nursing home). I just accepted from the beginning that while I needed to slightly redefine my idea of dignity, I was still feeding my child and to just treat it as such. Thankfully my family and friends have always been very supportive, some to the point of "don't bother putting that thing on, we're all family here and it's not like we haven't seen boobs before". I even told one guy in a restraunt that was making crude remarks to his wife that I should be doing that in the bathroom "sure, and why don't you grab your steak and join me? We'll make it a picnic!"

[FrumpyMama]

First off, I've always hated swim suits and I felt embarressed to try on bikinis. I was always bigger and used to being covered. Yet when it came time for my boobs to 'do what they do best' I didn't care who saw me. I didn't have it all hanging out, I used covers or just pulled my shirt down so it was covered. It's harder now that my lo likes to fight with the shirt too, just for something to do I guess.  But it isn't enough to make me want to stop. 

[illegallyblonde]

When your baby is crying and you're out in public, it's very easy to overcome the challenge of bfing in front of others. I've nursed in stores, offices, and the car. I am well-equipped in the law--I know my rights!

[turtle68]

 Family...nope although my dad gets a bit uncomfortable with it all.  I dont cover up at home so you may see the occassional nipple.

In public I cover up and feed discreetly. To be honest I was never out that long that I needed to feed in public and I was always near a feeding room...and they have the best chairs :-)