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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

as of friday...*kind of graphic*

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my dh is getting snipped...this friday he gets his vasectomy which he has wanted for a long time.  its something we both agreed to and i really thought i was fine with it.  i am pregnant with my second (due any day now) and we agreed to stop at two.  hormonal bc makes me ill, natural family planning is out since i ovulate so infrequently, i am allergic to copper so paragaurd it not an option and i have to take hormone replacement to maintain a pregnancy (or will miscarry) and am not interested in being pregnant again because it is so hard on my body due to the adrenal fatique.  plus my dh is 42 and doent want to be a 50 year old man having babies which i totally respect.

but last night i had this totally morbid dream where i gave birth to my son and he died.  it was horrible....and in my dream i knew my dh could never give me another child because of the surgery.  i woke up crying and felt so depressed.  i know that i am super pregnant and emotional and totally over reacting to this dream but there is this tiny little part of me that wont let it go.  what if something DOES go wrong and we lose the baby?  then what?  i would never again be able to try to give my son a sibling...just the thought makes me want to cry :(

its kind of a now or never thing sicnce we are losing our insurance within the next week and would not be able to afford to do it otherwise and i see so many pros to getting it done and over with so we dont ever have to worry about bc again....but that tiny little "what if" really is hard for me.

thanks for letting me vent...i dont want to burden my dh with it and needed to get it off my chest.

by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Replies (11-15):
VintageWife
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:36 AM

 Bless his heart. He must have suffered some trauma from that loss too :( I guess he probably still wouldn't wanna have another after that then.

Quoting tansyflower:

oh i know....i have researched quite a bit about the chronic pain syndrome/reabsorbtion issues that is associated with it in order to give my husband ALL the information.  he still wants to do it.  i think deep down he is scared to accidentally get pregnant...with our first pregnancy i lost the baby at 14 weeks due to my hormone imbalance and went into a severe depression and was not in a good place (i have ptsd) for quite a long time.  he didnt even want to try for our son because he was so scared about what would happen if i had a second loss.  just trying to get him on board for this baby was not easy...i honestly think if we lost this child he wouldnt never want to try again which is obviously different than how i would feel but his feelings are just as valid as mine are and i do respect the way he feels.

Quoting VintageWife:

Personally, it is the first thought I have when I see a pregnant woman on here say their hubby is getting snipped. I think 'what if something happens?'

BTW, you say you see so many pros to it, but there are cons. Maybe Mia or Julia know where to find that website for us that lists all the problems men can have after getting one.

 

 

MrsAdorkable
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:07 AM

Haven't read replies, but is freezing an option?

FebPenguins
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:13 AM


Quoting EthansMomma2010:

hugs. No advice. Just hugs.

hugs


soulofsunmama
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:00 PM
SEND POSITIVE ENERGY HER WAY!!

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

My friends son died as she gave birth of placenta abruption, another died 3 days before his due date for unknown reasons...I personally will not have hubby get snipped til after we are done with the number of babies being BORN, not just preggers.  Just me because I have the worries you did in your dream

FrumpyMama
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Pregnancy gives you the strangest dreams. I had one where I woke up and my belly was gone and no one would tell me what happened to the baby, if I had delivered or if it had died.  I woke up in a cold sweat.  Freakin' hormones!  I'm sure it will be ok, just turn your thoughts to preparing for the birth of you perfectly FINE baby!

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