Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting
I'm sure I'm not going to say this the right way lol...

But I LOVE spending time with my daughter. Sure, it's nice to shower alone or have a solid hour where no one is touching me/needs anything. But I'm with her pretty much 24/7 (we even cosleep) and I don't get sick of being with her. We play, read, snuggle, go on errands or for walks...

Dh and I even go on a date once a month or so for a few hours, and we have tons of fun, but I'm always excited to get home and kiss her. And he's the same - he's working on starting his own company so he can be home with us.

But it doesn't seem that way with any of our friends. They're always talking about wanting a break from their kids or how much they need a vacation or weekend away without their kid (some even do on a regular basis - leave their kid with their parents and go out of town for a concert or hotel stay). How we need to plan more nights where the kids go to a sitters so we can have adult time (we all get together once a week with dh's and kids).

I know they love their kids, it just feels like they're more of a nuisance to them. When they fuss, they just put a paci in their mouth. They put them in their bouncy seats or entertainers so they can socialize or do something else. They sleep train them so they can get them to sleep through the night as young as possible. They complain when they're exploring and getting into stuff, but they don't get on the floor and play with them.

I just don't get it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Replies (31-40):
justone_jen
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:17 PM
I understand what you mean. I'm surrounded by people who want me to either give my baby formula or pump so I can be away from her. She's only nine weeks so I'm not back to work yet, but I'm fairly certain I won't want to leave her on the weekends, because I enjoy being around her. Sure, I'll enjoy a night out with my mate every once in a while, but I like hanging out with my baby. :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sreichelt26
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:19 PM
This makes me sad :( those poor kids

Quoting VintageWife:

My bff's ex-SIL would take her kids to their g'parents and leave them for as long as possible. Like one day in March, she told her that she had something to give her son for Valentine's Day. She was like that was a few weeks ago. The chick was like "I know, I haven't gone to see him yet."


This wasn't a custody situation!!!! The mother was the one that had custody and the kid lived with her. She was always pawning them off. Let me tell you about her kids...


#1- She had with guy #1. Things didn't work out and he got main custody (not sure if she gave it up or what). When the kid was 7 or 8, she was dropping him off from a visit and said, "I don't get along with your dad and I'm tired of seeing him whenever I drop you off so I think it's best that we don't see eachother from here on out."


HOLY SH*T (i don't curse), she broke up with her kid!!! I mean seriously! She doesn't see him :"(


#2- Again, different guy. This one ends up being in custody of her mom, but I don't think that is until almost when #3 is going to someone else too.


#3- This is the one my bff's BIL had with her. Pretty much every weekend she was pawning him off on bff's BIL's parents. They would never turn him away. They love him to death (g'pa is a minister, btw). This is the one she hadn't seen for a few weeks cause she hadn't gotten around to it. She barely ever had a job either. It's not like she was hard working. Bff's BIL divorces her cause she ho's around and then bff's inlaws are like 'we want custody'. We've already been raising him pretty much every day of his life while you go off doing whatever and we need to be able to have guardianship of him in case of medical emergencies. Plus they were the ones paying for him to go to a Montessori school and everything.


At first she was like 'okay' (i know that isn't a shocker), but then her lawyer was like 'no, don't do it cause they might want back childsupport since they've paid for everything in his life so far.' So she tries to fight for custody, but their lawyer shows that she's given up children everytime she's had them and the judge decides she isn't worthy of the kid cause she'll give him up anyway. He lives with his g'parents now and is a good kid. I think he is about 10 now and he's a bright, well-rounded child which he would have NEVER had the chance to be before.


Quoting littlelambe2:


You ain't a horrid mother! I think you have a more difficult/stressful home situation than most.


My cousin and his wife constantly leave their two kids with g'ma and g'pa. I mean *constantly*. They're home with their kids for a couple hours a day for about half the month. I don't get that. Its sad because they had trouble conceiving, but once the kids came, all the mom talks about is how inconvenient they are. (They both work full time hence only a few hours between getting home from work and their kids going to bed)


Quoting VintageWife:


Maybe I'm the horrible mom in here, but I love going to the grocery and stuff alone. I've actually had a couple times where I got away for 5 hrs with no kids and loved it.


 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EthansMomma2010
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:22 PM

i think i would enjoy DS more if i hadnt had such a rough start with him and if i werent in school full time and always trying to get schoolwork done. the excuse, they're only young once, while true, also doesnt pass classes or pay bills. if i got to just be a sahm i think i would enjoy DS even more than i do now. i'm also an only child. being with others all the time makes me feel a little crazy. 

i dont think you're weird, just blessed to feel that way about your daughter. 

_muffin_
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:31 PM


Quoting VintageWife:

Maybe I'm the horrible mom in here, but I love going to the grocery and stuff alone. I've actually had a couple times where I got away for 5 hrs with no kids and loved it.

I'm with you. I love grocery shopping alone! I have a 4yr old, a 2.5 yr old and a 2 month old. My 2 month old needs to be worn or held or she is screaming and we co sleep so she is literally attached to me all the time. I love the time we have together, but its great to have a break. I am looking forward to the time when she get more mobile and I can get on the floor and play with her, but for now, we are just stuck together :)

JazzysWifey
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:58 PM
I agree that breaks are good and healthy... I love running to the store by myself, but a NIGHT away... Yikes, my daughter is 3 and we've been away for 3 overnights... Our 5th anniversary, our 6th anniversary and a wedding out of town. Our son is 11 months and we've never been away overnight.

I have a couple trips coming up and I'm dreading them =(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
vsop690
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:01 PM

SO far, I am with you... and I agree about the other ppl. My LO is only 8 weeks old today though so maybe my thoughts will change later?? Idk... I also havent had any date nights yet bc I just got him to take a bottle last week since I am EBF... So NOW I at least have an opportunity to have his granparents babysit for a couple of hours sometimes and dont have to worry about him being hungry.

chipper87
by Bronze Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 4:46 PM
I love my dd to death....enough to put my life on hold for the last 4+ years to stay home with her....Its important to me that she gets that....

but I won't lie, I would absolutely take a week long vacation from her and life in general if I could. Im a good mom and I love being home with her, teaching her, interacting with her,etc. But sometimes I feel like Im about to lose my mind and a shower or a trip to the store alone just doesn't cut it.
Im not a good mom when Im not taking care of myself occasionally. I do lose my shit! Yesterday we had both had enough of each other and both needed a break, today, we've been buddies all day.
When she was little we'd put her un her excersaucer and sit beside her and include her in the conversations when she "talked"....she's always been included unless its inappropriate conversation and then I just say that its not a kid appropriate conversation and go play, I show her the respect of letting her know why she's not included and she's fine with it, shrugs her shoulders, says okay...and goes off to play.
I think there needs to be a healthy balance.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fahmom
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 5:40 PM
I am with you. We don't have date nights just family nights. We have our adult time when DS falls asleep. Thankfully he goes to bed a good 2-4 hours before we do. ;) I don't mind time away from DS but am overly protective with who is allowed to watch him. I always look forward to seeing my baby bear. There have been rare ocassions DH and I go out without DS and its only been a few times when our moms were visiting us or we were visiting them. DS is always with me or DH with a few rare exceptions.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sreichelt26
by Bronze Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:29 PM

I agree :) I didn't mean for it to sound like we shouldn't have breaks at all. Lord knows I've wished for a vacation from my life lol.

Quoting chipper87:

I love my dd to death....enough to put my life on hold for the last 4+ years to stay home with her....Its important to me that she gets that....

but I won't lie, I would absolutely take a week long vacation from her and life in general if I could. Im a good mom and I love being home with her, teaching her, interacting with her,etc. But sometimes I feel like Im about to lose my mind and a shower or a trip to the store alone just doesn't cut it.
Im not a good mom when Im not taking care of myself occasionally. I do lose my shit! Yesterday we had both had enough of each other and both needed a break, today, we've been buddies all day.
When she was little we'd put her un her excersaucer and sit beside her and include her in the conversations when she "talked"....she's always been included unless its inappropriate conversation and then I just say that its not a kid appropriate conversation and go play, I show her the respect of letting her know why she's not included and she's fine with it, shrugs her shoulders, says okay...and goes off to play.
I think there needs to be a healthy balance.


harveysmom713
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM

I feel the same exact way you do!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)